Homophobic theory of dinosauric extinction

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182 Responses to “Homophobic theory of dinosauric extinction”

  1. foobar says:

    Wouldn’t dinosaurs have cloaca, making sodomy pretty much impossible?

  2. dolo54 says:

    Seems legit.

  3. Kevin Pierce says:

    But but but… their (maybe gay) bones are only 6,000 years old!

    • Nick Harvey says:

       Obviously Satan placed the sinful gay dinosaur fossils there to trick us. Given the demonic origin of the fake fossils, is it really any surprise that the non-existent creatures practiced rampant sodomy?

  4. nixiebunny says:

    This logic is even better than the witch/duck logic in Monty Python’s Holy Grail.

  5. Amazing! I did not know that. You learn something new every day.

  6. How insane have they become that we’re not even sure if a rant about gay satanic dinosaurs is a parody or not? 

  7. Navin_Johnson says:

    Jurassic Pork. 

  8. timquinn says:

    “Quite possibly a parody.”
    Considering the dinosaur porn going on there, there is not really much doubt. I would love to make fun of this, but I already did my chump time for the day.

  9. In the biggest gay bar in my town, the room where the more mature gentleman hang out is nick-named Jurassic Park.  So maybe there’s some connection somewhere.

  10. theclam says:

    Dinosaurs aren’t real. Those bones are just God testing your faith.

  11. Jean Baptiste says:

    T-Rex Favor Buttsecks!!!

    Mainly because T-Rex hand-jobs can be rather difficult.  And T-Rex blow-jobs? (shudder)

  12. Marc45 says:

    So that’s what those tiny forehands were for!

  13. Chip Unicorn says:

    Luckily, Raptor Jesus was around to save dinosaurs.

  14. voiceinthedistance says:

    Proof that you can “Prey Away The Gay.”

  15. Hugh G says:

    I fully realize that this is a joke, but it’s worth mentioning that the link between the serpent and satanism is very cleverly explained by David Talbott’s Saturnian Hypothesis.  The key missing detail for most people is that electricity over gas, i.e. plasma, has serpentine qualities insofar as it exhibits a filamentary morphology.  

    Radio astronomer Gerrit Verschuur has published numerous papers in IEEE and the Astrophysical Journal explaining that the term “cloud” is a misnomer when it’s used to describe the interstellar medium.  In fact, all-sky radio surveys at the 21-cm wavelength (the same wavelength used by SETI, actually) reveal that the interstellar “clouds” are actually oftentimes quite spaghetti-like.  In some regions, Verschuur claims that these filaments can even be observed to exhibit critical ionization velocities — an observation which was made decades ago, but which mainstream scientists have been slow to recognize and accept.  CIV’s are what one gets when charged particles are slammed into neutral gases at extraordinarily high velocities: The neutral gas becomes ionized and very specific redshifts appear, based upon the elemental makeup of the neutral gas.  These redshifts are to this day interpreted by mainstream astrophysicists as velocities, but in certain cases, they are observed to be far too fast to be believable (as in the anomalous “high-velocity clouds”).  If Verschuur is right that CIV’s can be observed to be associated with the interstellar filaments, then this is suggestive that these interstellar filaments are in fact transmitting electrical currents, similar to a novelty plasma globe.  Laboratory plasma physicists can replicate these CIV redshifts within the laboratory.David Talbott’s hypothesis is that there were human historical periods of time when the space surrounding the Earth was much more electrical than we observe it to be today, and that the anthropomorphization of these electrical structures were the basis for all of the mythological stories which the Pagans based their entire culture upon.  As the electrical discharges dissipated, the stories lost their value to the cultures of the world, and belief across the world morphed from mythology into religion.

    It’s quite ironic that science is oftentimes viewed as an antidote of sorts to mythology.  If Talbott is right, science may actually be useful for explaining mythology.  Although it’s not a common thing to do these days, those who have spent time learning about the mythological archetypes might want to get themselves up to speed on the behavior of laboratory plasmas by watching the numerous videos on the Thunderbolts YouTube channel.  This stuff matters tremendously, for although few seem to realize it, 99.999% of what we see with our telescopes is matter in the plasma state.  In the laboratory, plasmas are extremely conductive and they can form surprisingly complex circuits from nothing but the ions and electrons which they are composed of.

    Our sky today is taken for granted as this perfectly stable entity, and we like to look down upon the prior cultures of the world who envisioned that it was populated by all sorts of angry monsters and gods.  But, there are hints floating around that Nature will ultimately have the last laugh.

    • that had waaaay to many big words for me to be bothered reading all of but im sure you make a great point whatever it may be ;)

    • Cormacolinde says:

      Sorry, but Talbott is a crank, and his hypotheses have been widely and easily demonstrated to be inconsistent with most of known science.

      Finding links between myth and reality is all good up to a point, where you have to agree that it’s made-up stuff. Really.

      Today, fabulists and people with lots of imagination write novels and make movies. Back then, they invented myths.

    • Genre Slur says:

       Wow, thank you for the unexpected rant. That made my day, seriously.

    • robcat2075 says:

       Techno-babble is the new Scripture.

    • At last! This is completely apropos!

    • James Ph. Kotsybar says:

      DARK ENERGY ILLUSION

      — James Ph. Kotsybar

      If you travel at near the speed of light,
      the Universe before you seems to shrink,
      but as you slow down, then what you see might
      appear to expand, so that’s what you’d think.

      And if this actually is the case –
      that what we see is truly expanding –
      as we view its rate from sluggish Earth base,
      it appears much faster notwithstanding.

      We judge this to be acceleration,
      as relative to our much-decreased speed
      as well as our Earth’s own gravitation.
      Such equivalency one must concede.

      The farther we focus into the rift,

      the more the light seems to stretch and red shift.

    • CH says:

      “belief across the world morphed from mythology into religion”
      Hmm… and what is the difference between mythology and religion? Well, other than that we rather see us believing in “religion” than in “mythology”. And who were the Pagans in “these electrical structures were the basis for all of the mythological stories which the Pagans based their entire culture upon”?

      Religions/mythologies have popped up all around the world at different times and places. It’s not like they all harken back to some specific time in history when whatever space fillaments could have been seen. Or are you seriously suggesting that if the “space fillaments” thingy wouldn’t have been seen (which I seriously boubt it was) there would be no religions/mythologies today? If that was true, then we wouldn’t have religions today, they would have died out all by themselves.

    • Wreckrob8 says:

      Undoubtedly there is some sort of evolutionary process going on. But that’s not it. We’d all lose the will to live if we had to make sense of stuff like that all the time. I gave up half-way through.

    • lostinutah says:

      Yes, and many stereotypes have at least some basis in fact, also.   We humans have difficulty with randomness, and rather need to have a cause for every effect. 

      If we can’t discover (or are uncomfortable with) a cause, the next logical step is to make one up.  Hence, Rip Van Winkle’s discovery that the cause of thunder was whitebeards bowling nine-pins… or Satan burying bone-shaped rocks in the earth to fool us into thinking there were ever such things as dinosaurs.

      Washington Irving was joking; modern Fundamentalists, not so much.

  16. kairos says:

    Consumed by their love for Satan, armies of gay-dinosaur-riding serial killer homosexuals clashed by night in titanic rape-battles under the glaring red eye of the approaching comet…

  17. That_Anonymous_Coward says:

    Well the image shows up in 1 place without the text according to TinEye…
    http://www.323f.net.ru/Show/private/005249.html

    There was a joke I was going to make but I don’t want Antinous to ban me forever.

  18. Sarge Misfit says:

    *falls out of his chair laughing at the stupidity*

  19. ROSSINDETROIT says:

    Begs the question: why did God make gay dinosaurs?

  20. Wait, Aliens are serpents, therefore aliens are gay, but they have a queen, which reproduces, but it needs facehuggers to make a gay alien, which will become the queen when no other queen is around, so they’re bisexual, but if a queen is alone and has no partner, how does it make eggs with facehuggers? Because Ripley, therefore aliens are inferior to man, which they kill to eat and reproduce, in great numbers. It makes all sense, see?

    • How high were you when you watched that movie?

      Clearly the relevant metaphor was eusocial insects (ants, bees, termites, etc.)  A nearly all female species living in hives with only one reproductive member.  They were not at any point similar to serpents in their behavior or morphology.

      • soithascometothis says:

         Prometheus denier! Satan used accelerated evolution to get from serpents to giants squids and xenomorphs!!! These are clearly speculative documentaries that the shadow government doesn’t want to be taken seriously.

      • In AvP the aliens are referred to by the predators as “serpents” both in current conversation (firsthand source) as well as in ancient writing on the walls of the pyramid. Clearly some stoneage hunter/gatherer spacefaring civilization with a weird codex of behavior and being fiercly superstituous has a better idea than your nilly-willy ideas of biology. Grrkkkkklklklklklklkttk

  21. recoiled says:

    So did dinosaurs not go extinct?  Did they just evolve into stereotyped Homosexuals? I mean, we are seeing some evidence that dinosaurs were bright feathery beasts, and that is fabulous.

  22. soylent_plaid says:

    Damn you, Poe’s Law!

  23. semiotix says:

    It would explain those prissy little arms and limp wrists on the T-Rex. 

  24. Antinous / Moderator says:

    I can think of no better way to get children interested in exploring the joys of same-sex love than by associating it which a perennially beloved topic like dinosaurs.  Thanks for help with the junior recruiting drive, Unknown Propagandist.

  25. EvilSpirit says:

    Dinosaurs were not a species, but a clade of the class Reptilia. Therefore your argument is invalid.

  26. I particularly like the correlation drawn between homosexuals and violence.

    I wonder if the nutjobs that write this stuff have ever actually met a homosexual?

  27. Avram Grumer says:

    I want to just hand this sentence fragment to a bunch of authors: “Fueled by satanism, violence, and sodomy, dinosaurs…” …and have them write books expanding on it. 

    • From the original: “The most convincing new thesis about dinosaur extinction is also the most basic. The dinosaurs, fueled by Satanic influence, became cruel and a cruel species has no place on God’s green earth. Unleashed from moral virtue, the dinosaurs felt no shame in pursuing utter havoc. They were violent and sadistic. They knew not love, nor compassion. These animals were not caring mothers or protective fathers. Instead they were ravishers, destroying everything in their path. The only way they propelled themselves from one generation to the next was through rape. And once rape became a defining characteristic of their lives, sodomy came next and eventually homosexuality, for the dinosaur was thrilled by the idea of sex in and of itself. It was not procreative or ethical, it was just cruel. Such a lifestyle is a ticking time bomb. Could that be God’s lesson here? It’s not hard to see a parallel in this parable with a certain flamboyantly sadistic subculture of today that is all too thrilled by hardcore male sexuality…”

    • Marko Raos says:

       I’d buy that for a dollar!

    • digi_owl says:

       Drop the dinosaur bit and things get “interesting”.

  28. RJ says:

    If a dinosaur’s asshole occupies that much of your mental real estate, then I’m not so sure it really matters what conclusions you come to. You’re crazy, either way.

  29. Naja pallida says:

    Obviously, all the good dinosaurs were raptured away, and all the unbelievers were left to their destruction.

  30. wazmo says:

    Naah. Gary Larson really nailed it when ti came to the reason why dinosoaur’s are extinct.  Google points the way. 

  31. Nikodemos says:

    This is false, God’s grace is irresistible. If God elected to save gay dinosaurs through the trans-temporal effects of Christ’s death & resurrection, that’s His sovereign choice. Please don’t be misled, as all sin & fall short of God’s glory, some gay dinosaurs are with Jesus!

  32. If the dinosaurs were all gay, where did the little dinosaurs come from?

  33. Aaron Swain says:

    That is fucking hilarious.  I like how the bullet points are presented as if they are logical arguments instead of a geyser of pointless crazy shit.

  34. $19428857 says:

    Violence and sodomy? If some paleontologist finds a fossilized rum cask from the Jurassic we’ll finally have proof that the dinosaurs were British sailors.

  35. Enrique de la Huelga says:

    See the original here.
    Allow me to opine that this is the Best Dinosaur Mount Ever.

    http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/dinosaur/2012/02/the-anatomy-of-dinosaur-sex/

  36. Marky says:

    “Kids in the Hall” on these prehistoric pests.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LtmAfOXWDo

  37. Error Level Analysis indicates that, at a minimum, all the text is a shop!  Drag it onto 
    http://29a.ch/sandbox/2012/imageerrorlevelanalysis/ for example.  Not sure about  the Dinos, but they look like something out of an Abecabook Christian Textbook….

  38. Peter says:

    I have a theory that Stegosauruses went extinct because all their favorite positions lead to stomach ruptures.

  39. unit_1421 says:

    Dinosaurs, FUCKING A SPACE SHIP!

    BTW: Souffle Girl downloaded herself into the sonic screwdriver before the Daleks destroyed the Asylum.

  40. Heckler says:

    Wraparound fail.

  41. nancysid says:

    Damn I’m confused. Are dinosaurs all four-legged, or are the ones like T rex equipped with two arms/too legs? This is pertainant, because we all know big feet = big equipment. And if that’s true, T rex is either Johnny Wadd or Rush Limbaugh.

  42. who is the idiot that made this illustration..gay people are the most creative and talented..NOT violent at all..morons

    • paulio says:

      Psh. Gay people are people, and people’s talent and attributes vary.
      Also, the illustration is a joke. Don’t get caught up in emotional thought, take it easy and enjoy your consciousness. And let everyone do likewise.

  43.  that is like saying Elton John is violent and crazy..Elton is talented and nice..and gay

    • euansmith says:

      Just tell that to all those defenceless flowers he has murdered and displayed around his mansion! The man is a Herbicide! One of Histories Greatest Monsters!

    • Jonathan Roberts says:

      That’s quite a clever site. Another picture in that article basically just changed the main writing; everything else is lifted from Ken Ham’s book ‘Dinosaurs in Eden’.

      • Jonathan Roberts says:

        Just in case you’re wondering how batshit crazy Ken Ham / Answers in Genesis can get, this is one of the images from the Amazon page for the book. The back cover euphemistically calls the artwork ‘stunning’ – I’d have to agree.

    • Anon_Mahna says:

      I think I just had an aneurism trying to figure out if that’s a legit site or something like the Onion.

      • Jonathan Roberts says:

        The fact that the writer replies to comments in character makes it better, in my opinion. Apparently they even had a columnist once who was an actual conservative and didn’t pick up on the joke.

  44. Sundar Narayanan says:

    we saw some pretty amazing dino facts at Cabazon..

    http://sundar72.blogspot.com/2011/05/cabazon-dinosaurs-photoblog.html

    :)

  45. HOTDAMN says:

    Oh man,

    If anybody with some photoshop skills would like to grace this earth with that image but without the text I would be eternally grateful.

  46. chris jimson says:

    Another problem with this theory : God created the dinosaurs.  Now, unless animals have souls, and therefore free will, they cannot make conscious choices, like “refusing to submit to God’s grace” for example.  If they were gay, then God made them gay.

  47. flappy says:

    Not In My Boneyard! What can we do to put and end to dinosaurs, once and for all?

  48. SummerFang says:

    Bi-rannosaurus Rex

  49. Kujiranoai says:

    God clearly created dinosaurs in order to teach man that homosexuality is wrong.

    Thank you God for creating Tyranosaurus Rex to save us from the sodomites!

  50. Yacko says:

    Clearly scientists have not discovered the genus Anussaurus yet.

  51. “Dinosauric” is my new favourite word ;-}

  52. Michael McWilliams says:

    Sooooooo …. just how did these gay dinos practice satanism? There must have been a Flinstones episode dealing with this sordid issue (in the polite context of 60′s TV of course.)

  53. “… dinosaurs had little chance to survive as a species.”

    Yeah, at 165 million years, I guess it’s safe to say they sucked the wang at survival.

  54. THOPPP says:

    Hey! Hey! Hey! This kind of talk is going to give some credence
    “Creationism”

  55. Wingnut says:

    Why is knowledge of gay dinosaurs shocking news now? 
    Barney has admitted he’s a “megasorass”.

  56. sean says:

    Could be true. They do have a picture.

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