Cory Doctorow at 11:51 am Sat, Sep 15, 2012
ADVERTISE AT BOING BOING!
Origin unknown: a brochure attributing the extinction of dinosaurs to their rampant homosexuality. Quite possibly a parody.
(Thanks, Fipi Lele!)
Wouldn’t dinosaurs have cloaca, making sodomy pretty much impossible?
cloaca, making sodomy… impossible
Hey! That’s not the winning attitude that made us the #1 exporter of sodomy
Hard to tell. Penises have evolved independently multiple times, and just in birds this has happened at least in waterfowl and rattites. It’s entirely possible that some lineages of dinosaurs may have had them.
O god now i’m envisioning dinosaur cock
Nooo! Rule #34. Rule #34! I hope you’re proud of yourself! >:(
Already old hat, mah dear. I09 published something on dino-porn awhile back.
Just to add to your imagination… many modern reptiles, especially snakes, actually have two penises, or rather, hemipenes. They also have various shapes, some even with spines and hooks in order to anchor themselves in during copulation. :)
Modern reptiles are not descended from dinosaurs.
I can’t even imagine what sort of music would be appropriate for that kind of porn.
Was Not Was, obviously.
Well it’s said that penises evolved in waterfowl so that sperm could be delivered deeper into the female and not wash off so easily, and most birds have cloacae so bird penises almost certainly evolved long after dinosaurs.
Irrelevant, as dinosaurs didn’t have sex… they reproduced via eggs.
Uh, i take it biology was not your strong suit in school.
Girl dinosaurs are pink.
Not lesbian girl dinosaurs
@Just_Ok:disqus You’re right! They were plaid.
I do believe that’s the hardest I ever LOLed on this site. Thank you, I am in awe.
Something comes first, before the eggs.
No, sex. The answer to “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” is sex. Sex, sex, sex.
Dinosaur breath smells like dinosaur food
Dinosaurs who were victims of “legitimate rape” rarely reproduced via eggs.
Paleontologistst call this the “Akin’s Extinction Hypothesis”
Oh dear, oh dear. Go and spend an hour watching chickens, then come back and report what you saw.
Christ! What a bunch of cloacas!
Never mind the impossibility of the Paleo-Reach-around.
The tiny hands were for rusty trombone.
Yeah, if you have that kind of attitude about it.
Doesn’t it make everything but sodomy impossible?
Yes, unless you know the definition of sodomy.
Which definition? There are lots.
From Wikipedia on Cloaca:
“Birds also reproduce with this organ; this is known as a cloacal kiss. Birds that mate using this method touch their cloacae together, in some species for only a few seconds, sufficient time for sperm to be transferred from the male to the female.”
Maybe it’s not sodomy, but a guy-dinosaur-on-guy-dinosaur cloacal kiss sounds pretty gay to me.
But but but… their (maybe gay) bones are only 6,000 years old!
Obviously Satan placed the sinful gay dinosaur fossils there to trick us. Given the demonic origin of the fake fossils, is it really any surprise that the non-existent creatures practiced rampant sodomy?
This logic is even better than the witch/duck logic in Monty Python’s Holy Grail.
Amazing! I did not know that. You learn something new every day.
How insane have they become that we’re not even sure if a rant about gay satanic dinosaurs is a parody or not?
I’m pretty sure it’s a parody. I’m also pretty sure that someone will see it and actually think, “Huh, you know, that makes sense.”
If only the image search engines indexed FB, then we could know for sure.
That’s Poe’s Law for you…
It is Poe’s Law in action.
I was waiting to see a link to an Onion article…
I gave up trying to figure out whether things like this were parodies after the “set theory is against god” thing.
Wow! That’s a lot of likes. If I had a dollar for every like I’d…still be getting evicted.
The difference between fundamentalist thought and its parody is so small because fundamentalism is already a form of parody: self parody. Satirizing it doesn’t really add much to it.
Dinosaur smiles… so ambiguous.
“Quite possibly a parody.”
Considering the dinosaur porn going on there, there is not really much doubt. I would love to make fun of this, but I already did my chump time for the day.
Neither lizard has a “really nice handbag”. Can we get a photoshopper to tart this image up a bit?
Ask and ye shall receive!
That’s a Hermes scarf, BTW.
You have made my day! I’m LOL’ing in a hotel room – the maid just hustled out – probably thinks I lost my mind. (Alas, I can only click the Like button once) A+++++ for you!
So then this is just trolling for Christian-haters.
Creo haters. Majority of Christians are not anti-science reactionaries, and this wouldn’t seem to be targeted at those folks (e.g. the majority of Christians).
In the biggest gay bar in my town, the room where the more mature gentleman hang out is nick-named Jurassic Park. So maybe there’s some connection somewhere.
At this stage I’d imagine the whole George is Jurassic Park.
Ha, it’s a small world on the interwebs!
Dinosaurs aren’t real. Those bones are just God testing your faith.
Either that, or the scary goat guy put them there in order to lead “good Christians into a life of sodomy and violence”
Or god tricked the goat guy to put the bones down there to test us. He’s tricky that way, and if you get the answer wrong, off to hell with you.
I think you meant “Those boners are just god testing your faith.”
Fixed that for you.
T-Rex Favor Buttsecks!!!
Mainly because T-Rex hand-jobs can be rather difficult. And T-Rex blow-jobs? (shudder)
They couldn’t clasp their hands in prayer either.
So that’s what those tiny forehands were for!
Luckily, Raptor Jesus was around to save dinosaurs.
He went extinct for your sins!
All this time I thought they were waiting for the rapture.
Isn’t that a subgenius thing? If not, it SHOULD be.
Proof that you can “Prey Away The Gay.”
I fully realize that this is a joke, but it’s worth mentioning that the link between the serpent and satanism is very cleverly explained by David Talbott’s Saturnian Hypothesis. The key missing detail for most people is that electricity over gas, i.e. plasma, has serpentine qualities insofar as it exhibits a filamentary morphology.
Radio astronomer Gerrit Verschuur has published numerous papers in IEEE and the Astrophysical Journal explaining that the term “cloud” is a misnomer when it’s used to describe the interstellar medium. In fact, all-sky radio surveys at the 21-cm wavelength (the same wavelength used by SETI, actually) reveal that the interstellar “clouds” are actually oftentimes quite spaghetti-like. In some regions, Verschuur claims that these filaments can even be observed to exhibit critical ionization velocities — an observation which was made decades ago, but which mainstream scientists have been slow to recognize and accept. CIV’s are what one gets when charged particles are slammed into neutral gases at extraordinarily high velocities: The neutral gas becomes ionized and very specific redshifts appear, based upon the elemental makeup of the neutral gas. These redshifts are to this day interpreted by mainstream astrophysicists as velocities, but in certain cases, they are observed to be far too fast to be believable (as in the anomalous “high-velocity clouds”). If Verschuur is right that CIV’s can be observed to be associated with the interstellar filaments, then this is suggestive that these interstellar filaments are in fact transmitting electrical currents, similar to a novelty plasma globe. Laboratory plasma physicists can replicate these CIV redshifts within the laboratory.David Talbott’s hypothesis is that there were human historical periods of time when the space surrounding the Earth was much more electrical than we observe it to be today, and that the anthropomorphization of these electrical structures were the basis for all of the mythological stories which the Pagans based their entire culture upon. As the electrical discharges dissipated, the stories lost their value to the cultures of the world, and belief across the world morphed from mythology into religion.
It’s quite ironic that science is oftentimes viewed as an antidote of sorts to mythology. If Talbott is right, science may actually be useful for explaining mythology. Although it’s not a common thing to do these days, those who have spent time learning about the mythological archetypes might want to get themselves up to speed on the behavior of laboratory plasmas by watching the numerous videos on the Thunderbolts YouTube channel. This stuff matters tremendously, for although few seem to realize it, 99.999% of what we see with our telescopes is matter in the plasma state. In the laboratory, plasmas are extremely conductive and they can form surprisingly complex circuits from nothing but the ions and electrons which they are composed of.
Our sky today is taken for granted as this perfectly stable entity, and we like to look down upon the prior cultures of the world who envisioned that it was populated by all sorts of angry monsters and gods. But, there are hints floating around that Nature will ultimately have the last laugh.
that had waaaay to many big words for me to be bothered reading all of but im sure you make a great point whatever it may be ;)
Sorry, but Talbott is a crank, and his hypotheses have been widely and easily demonstrated to be inconsistent with most of known science.
Finding links between myth and reality is all good up to a point, where you have to agree that it’s made-up stuff. Really.
Today, fabulists and people with lots of imagination write novels and make movies. Back then, they invented myths.
Yea, crank stuff. I was waiting for the payoff to involve “spaghetti-like” gods…
That depends on where you end up touched by his noodley apendage
Wow, thank you for the unexpected rant. That made my day, seriously.
Techno-babble is the new Scripture.
At last! This is completely apropos!
Now That’s the long game!
DARK ENERGY ILLUSION
— James Ph. Kotsybar
If you travel at near the speed of light,
the Universe before you seems to shrink,
but as you slow down, then what you see might
appear to expand, so that’s what you’d think.
And if this actually is the case –
that what we see is truly expanding –
as we view its rate from sluggish Earth base,
it appears much faster notwithstanding.
We judge this to be acceleration,
as relative to our much-decreased speed
as well as our Earth’s own gravitation.
Such equivalency one must concede.
The farther we focus into the rift,
the more the light seems to stretch and red shift.
“belief across the world morphed from mythology into religion”
Hmm… and what is the difference between mythology and religion? Well, other than that we rather see us believing in “religion” than in “mythology”. And who were the Pagans in “these electrical structures were the basis for all of the mythological stories which the Pagans based their entire culture upon”?
Religions/mythologies have popped up all around the world at different times and places. It’s not like they all harken back to some specific time in history when whatever space fillaments could have been seen. Or are you seriously suggesting that if the “space fillaments” thingy wouldn’t have been seen (which I seriously boubt it was) there would be no religions/mythologies today? If that was true, then we wouldn’t have religions today, they would have died out all by themselves.
Undoubtedly there is some sort of evolutionary process going on. But that’s not it. We’d all lose the will to live if we had to make sense of stuff like that all the time. I gave up half-way through.
Yes, and many stereotypes have at least some basis in fact, also. We humans have difficulty with randomness, and rather need to have a cause for every effect.
If we can’t discover (or are uncomfortable with) a cause, the next logical step is to make one up. Hence, Rip Van Winkle’s discovery that the cause of thunder was whitebeards bowling nine-pins… or Satan burying bone-shaped rocks in the earth to fool us into thinking there were ever such things as dinosaurs.
Washington Irving was joking; modern Fundamentalists, not so much.
Consumed by their love for Satan, armies of gay-dinosaur-riding serial killer homosexuals clashed by night in titanic rape-battles under the glaring red eye of the approaching comet…
I would watch the hell out of this movie.
A Michael Bay/Mel Gibson co-production.
Shouldn’t Steven Spielberg be in there, too?
Bombastic bigotry? I think that Bay and Gibson together will have it covered :)
Well the image shows up in 1 place without the text according to TinEye…
There was a joke I was going to make but I don’t want Antinous to ban me forever.
*falls out of his chair laughing at the stupidity*
Begs the question: why did God make gay dinosaurs?
Lifestyle choice! They were indoctrinated by other gay dinos! Also, Satan.
Wait, Aliens are serpents, therefore aliens are gay, but they have a queen, which reproduces, but it needs facehuggers to make a gay alien, which will become the queen when no other queen is around, so they’re bisexual, but if a queen is alone and has no partner, how does it make eggs with facehuggers? Because Ripley, therefore aliens are inferior to man, which they kill to eat and reproduce, in great numbers. It makes all sense, see?
How high were you when you watched that movie?
Clearly the relevant metaphor was eusocial insects (ants, bees, termites, etc.) A nearly all female species living in hives with only one reproductive member. They were not at any point similar to serpents in their behavior or morphology.
Prometheus denier! Satan used accelerated evolution to get from serpents to giants squids and xenomorphs!!! These are clearly speculative documentaries that the shadow government doesn’t want to be taken seriously.
Heresy! On the stake on the stake! In the lake! In the lake! In the birthing chamber, in the birthing chamber! Queen wills it.
In AvP the aliens are referred to by the predators as “serpents” both in current conversation (firsthand source) as well as in ancient writing on the walls of the pyramid. Clearly some stoneage hunter/gatherer spacefaring civilization with a weird codex of behavior and being fiercly superstituous has a better idea than your nilly-willy ideas of biology. Grrkkkkklklklklklklkttk
So did dinosaurs not go extinct? Did they just evolve into stereotyped Homosexuals? I mean, we are seeing some evidence that dinosaurs were bright feathery beasts, and that is fabulous.
Colorful outfits, pageantry…
Yep they became the Catholic Church.
Damn you, Poe’s Law!
It would explain those prissy little arms and limp wrists on the T-Rex.
I can think of no better way to get children interested in exploring the joys of same-sex love than by associating it which a perennially beloved topic like dinosaurs. Thanks for help with the junior recruiting drive, Unknown Propagandist.
It makes alligator skin shoes seem a lot more hateful, doesn’t it?
Dinosaurs were not a species, but a clade of the class Reptilia. Therefore your argument is invalid.
oh yeah? well…
I particularly like the correlation drawn between homosexuals and violence.
I wonder if the nutjobs that write this stuff have ever actually met a homosexual?
I’m sure there were others in the closet where he is hiding. (Hmm… why do I assume it’s a “he”?… But it always seems to be a he.)
It does doesn’t it… must be a coincidence.
I want to just hand this sentence fragment to a bunch of authors: “Fueled by satanism, violence, and sodomy, dinosaurs…” …and have them write books expanding on it.
From the original: “The most convincing new thesis about dinosaur extinction is also the most basic. The dinosaurs, fueled by Satanic influence, became cruel and a cruel species has no place on God’s green earth. Unleashed from moral virtue, the dinosaurs felt no shame in pursuing utter havoc. They were violent and sadistic. They knew not love, nor compassion. These animals were not caring mothers or protective fathers. Instead they were ravishers, destroying everything in their path. The only way they propelled themselves from one generation to the next was through rape. And once rape became a defining characteristic of their lives, sodomy came next and eventually homosexuality, for the dinosaur was thrilled by the idea of sex in and of itself. It was not procreative or ethical, it was just cruel. Such a lifestyle is a ticking time bomb. Could that be God’s lesson here? It’s not hard to see a parallel in this parable with a certain flamboyantly sadistic subculture of today that is all too thrilled by hardcore male sexuality…”
I’d buy that for a dollar!
Drop the dinosaur bit and things get “interesting”.
If a dinosaur’s asshole occupies that much of your mental real estate, then I’m not so sure it really matters what conclusions you come to. You’re crazy, either way.
Now I feel crazy for laughing.
Or perhaps they are just dino lovers in denial, who want to hide behind dinophobia. I’m sure they will be one day caught in action at an ostrich farm.
Obviously, all the good dinosaurs were raptured away, and all the unbelievers were left to their destruction.
Naah. Gary Larson really nailed it when ti came to the reason why dinosoaur’s are extinct. Google points the way.
Since I looked it up…
This is false, God’s grace is irresistible. If God elected to save gay dinosaurs through the trans-temporal effects of Christ’s death & resurrection, that’s His sovereign choice. Please don’t be misled, as all sin & fall short of God’s glory, some gay dinosaurs are with Jesus!
If the dinosaurs were all gay, where did the little dinosaurs come from?
Bi-nosuars, of course. (Yes, yes, worst pun ever.)
When a mommy and and daddy dino love each other, and only after they are married in a state sponsored constitutionally protected ceremony….
Then a stork delivers a fully developed baby tyrannosaur, right?
That is fucking hilarious. I like how the bullet points are presented as if they are logical arguments instead of a geyser of pointless crazy shit.
Violence and sodomy? If some paleontologist finds a fossilized rum cask from the Jurassic we’ll finally have proof that the dinosaurs were British sailors.
See the original here.
Allow me to opine that this is the Best Dinosaur Mount Ever.
It somewhat confuses me as to why that posture should imply teh buttsex, as a T Rex couldn’t very well employ the missionary position!
That’s a hellofa read.
Ooh, thanks for the article link! It was incredibly interesting!!!
Oh, and now I got the “female body has ways of preventing pregnancy” in rape… it was about ducks! Duh! (was a link in that article) http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/loom/2009/12/22/kinkiness-beyond-kinky/
“Kids in the Hall” on these prehistoric pests.
Should have been no doubt in my mind Buddy Cole addressed this YEARS ago…
Error Level Analysis indicates that, at a minimum, all the text is a shop! Drag it onto
http://29a.ch/sandbox/2012/imageerrorlevelanalysis/ for example. Not sure about the Dinos, but they look like something out of an Abecabook Christian Textbook….
I have a theory that Stegosauruses went extinct because all their favorite positions lead to stomach ruptures.
Dinosaurs, FUCKING A SPACE SHIP!
BTW: Souffle Girl downloaded herself into the sonic screwdriver before the Daleks destroyed the Asylum.
Almost: dragons fucking cars: http://dragonshavingsexwithcars.tumblr.com/
Do Not Click That Link, if you value your sanity (made that mistake years ago)!
Of couse, if I’ve already gone insane, how can you trust me??
That was a request, right?
Damn I’m confused. Are dinosaurs all four-legged, or are the ones like T rex equipped with two arms/too legs? This is pertainant, because we all know big feet = big equipment. And if that’s true, T rex is either Johnny Wadd or Rush Limbaugh.
who is the idiot that made this illustration..gay people are the most creative and talented..NOT violent at all..morons
Psh. Gay people are people, and people’s talent and attributes vary.
Also, the illustration is a joke. Don’t get caught up in emotional thought, take it easy and enjoy your consciousness. And let everyone do likewise.
that is like saying Elton John is violent and crazy..Elton is talented and nice..and gay
Just tell that to all those defenceless flowers he has murdered and displayed around his mansion! The man is a Herbicide! One of Histories Greatest Monsters!
Actually that is from this article:
That’s quite a clever site. Another picture in that article basically just changed the main writing; everything else is lifted from Ken Ham’s book ‘Dinosaurs in Eden’.
Just in case you’re wondering how batshit crazy Ken Ham / Answers in Genesis can get, this is one of the images from the Amazon page for the book. The back cover euphemistically calls the artwork ‘stunning’ – I’d have to agree.
It’s like the revised Mos Eisley scenes
I think I just had an aneurism trying to figure out if that’s a legit site or something like the Onion.
The fact that the writer replies to comments in character makes it better, in my opinion. Apparently they even had a columnist once who was an actual conservative and didn’t pick up on the joke.
we saw some pretty amazing dino facts at Cabazon..
ugh. thank you for reminding me that nut jobs have taken over one of my fondest childhood haunts..
If anybody with some photoshop skills would like to grace this earth with that image but without the text I would be eternally grateful.
Try running it through TinEye or Google for dinos gay then images then similar and boom your there…
Just google for dinosaur sex.
How will they learn if you do it for them?
Another problem with this theory : God created the dinosaurs. Now, unless animals have souls, and therefore free will, they cannot make conscious choices, like “refusing to submit to God’s grace” for example. If they were gay, then God made them gay.
Zealots, bigots, and upper management have no need of logic or reason…
Not In My Boneyard! What can we do to put and end to dinosaurs, once and for all?
What’s that? You’re putting your end to a dinosaur? SODOMY!…
God clearly created dinosaurs in order to teach man that homosexuality is wrong.
Thank you God for creating Tyranosaurus Rex to save us from the sodomites!
Clearly scientists have not discovered the genus Anussaurus yet.
“Dinosauric” is my new favourite word ;-}
Sooooooo …. just how did these gay dinos practice satanism? There must have been a Flinstones episode dealing with this sordid issue (in the polite context of 60’s TV of course.)
“… dinosaurs had little chance to survive as a species.”
Yeah, at 165 million years, I guess it’s safe to say they sucked the wang at survival.
Hey! Hey! Hey! This kind of talk is going to give some credence
Why is knowledge of gay dinosaurs shocking news now?
Barney has admitted he’s a “megasorass”.
Could be true. They do have a picture.
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