Shirtless FBI agent in Petraeus scandal revealed

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Frederick Humphries. I am glad I haven't encountered the actual shirtless sexted photos, and hope to avoid such an occurrence. (NYT)


  1. “That picture was sent years before Ms. Kelley contacted him about this, and it was sent as part of a larger context of what I would call social relations in which the families would exchange numerous photos of each other,” Mr. Berger said.

    The photo was sent as a “joke” and was of Mr. Humphries “posing with a couple of dummies.” Mr. Berger said the picture was not sexual in nature

    So no, not sexted.

          1. Is it important to have an opinion on this?  Is it necessary to keep using the odious word “sext?”  I will be grateful when it’s over.

  2. Yo what wait…No nipp-lage?  Half of the whole point of this pointless scandal is the half naked pics of said Bozo…I want nipple!

    Actually, it’s not for me.  It’s for my significant other.  She was not born in this country and doesn’t understand the way we do things.  And she really likes nipples.

    First of all, we have a Puritanical culture, I tell her;…so frank sexual behavior is “Scandalous and Salacious”…and recently worthy of significant media (bad) and governmental (worse) attention.  But we build up Heros here, and when they fail to meet our Standards…We are either So Sad…or So Amused.

    Because sex -is- pretty funny…or it can be.  But it is also…for the most part Private (or it should be)…

    Did Gen. Peaches fuck up?  Yes…he sure did.  Will he pay for it?  You’re Goddamned right he will…50%…unless his wife is Clintonian in her forgiveness.

    And Buh-bye Legacy.  Yet…didn’t we learn…were we not remembering just recently that as a nation those years ago under that saxaphone playing adulterer, our first ‘Black’ president before we, actually, like, elected one twice…that our economy was strong?  That Gingrich The Adulterer vs Clinton The Adulterer was BAD FOR THE COUNTRY?!?

    But now again…’oooh look! a man in power done fucked somebody he shouldnt… eeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!’

    Go ahead: knock em down.  Most people that reach such heights; stomp on a few fingers as they climb their ladder…it’s not nice…and Karma is the Bitchiest Bitch you know.

    But if JFK or MLK had the same attention, would they have been able to do the good they did?

      1. No, it has everything to do with fucking, and the press collusion and government surveillance angles only help people like you feel better over obsessing about the fucking. 

        1. This is me pointing my nose into the air and refusing to acknowledge what you just said *points*


          people like you

          What sort of person am I? I haven’t figured it out myself, so any light you can shed on the matter will be richly appreciated.

          1. Sedan…be as coy as you like: ‘press collusion and government surveillance’?

             “ZZzzzz..huhghwhat are you talking about?…too many syllables …”

            But “SEX!” That has a certain ring to it, no?

            “Government Power Broker has Sex with another person he was not Trothplighted with…more pics and dirt at 11!”

            Yeah: that’ll get some page views.  Twas ever thus.  

            Bah humbug I say…

  3. He was on the cover of the Washington Post Express this morning.  It was kind of a hilarious MS Paint diagram of all the parties involved with scribbled on lines around them from who was zooming who and the headline was “A General Mess.”

  4. If I was this guy I would be hedging big time that I’d go down with everything pinned on me. If you are going to be scapegoat you might as well profit from it.

    1. How would he do that?  I’m unclear where his source of profit would be – taking a payoff to confess to something?

  5. Must . . . not . . . make fun . . . of . . . receding hairline.   Must . . . not . . .AHAHAHAHAHA!  I wonder if the “shirtless photo” will reveal flowing locks of pubic-length chest hair.

    (I am a failure as a human being.  Yes, yes I am.)

  6. I think this post requires a correction. The shirtless photo in question was published by the Seattle Times yesterday and a fair reading of the situation would indicate it was definitely not “sexted” – The photo was sent to dozens (or hundreds?) of people, both men and women, from an email account the agent shared with his wife. While the agent may have violated rules or laws in his dogged pursuit of this case, it seems pretty clear it wasn’t because he was trying to get all sexy with the female friend that started the investigation by coming to him :

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