Normal people eat chocolate bunnies ears-first

58% of 28,113 people surveyed eat ears first: "33% indicated that they had no starting point preference, and 4% indicated that they started with the tail or feet." (via Marginal Revolution) (Image: Card Karma, CC-BY)

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  1. And he gives me a chocolate Easter bunny. And this shows how tricky those guys are. I eat the chocolate and I think, wait a second... this isn't around Easter.
    "Was this a test?"
    He said, "Yes."
    "And what does it mean?"
    He said, "Well, had you eaten the ears first you would have been normal; had you eaten the feet first you would have had an inferiority complex; had you eaten the tail first you would have had latent homosexual tendencies; and had you eaten the breasts first you would have had a latent oedipal complex."
    I said, "Well, go on. What does it mean when you bite out the eyes and scream, 'Stop staring at me!'?'"
    He says, "It shows you've a tendency towards self-destruction."
    I said, "What do you recommend?"
    He says, "Go for it!"

  2. As with all vaguely anthropomorphised candy, "feet first" is the pro choice.

    How else are you going to stop it running away?

  3. You people are all weird.

    You're supposed to eat the bunny's eggs first.

  4. The first thing I do is bite off their rear paws. Then, I bite off their front paws. Next, I bite off their nose. Followed by licking out their right eye and then their left eye. The ears I leave. So that every shriek of every child that weeps at their sight, every woman who cries out "Dear god, what is that thing!" shall be theirs to keep forever, in those perfect, chocolate ears...

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