Matt returned from Paris to Cincinnati, where he was given the choice of a pornoscanner or a bit of the old nutsack-fondling from the TSA. Instead, Matt insisted that it was his right as an American with a passport who was n
ot suspected of any wrongdoing to enter his country. The TSA told him the airport cops would arrest him if he didn't comply. The airport cops told him it was up to the TSA and clearly didn't appreciate being made to do someone else's dirty work. In the end, he was escorted out of the airport without having to submit to either procedure. He recorded much of the encounter on with his iPhone's audio recorder, too.
He offers as an alternative, "What if we were to escort you out with us? It would involve a pat-down, but it would be us doing it instead."
"Would you touch my balls?"
"I don't want to touch your – genital region, but my hand might brush against it."
I clarify, "Well, like I said, I'll do whatever you say is mandatory. If you tell me that you have to touch my balls–"
"–I said no such thing. You're putting words in my mouth."
"OK. I apologize. If you say that a pat-down is mandatory, and that as a condition of that pat-down, I may have my genitals brushed against by your hand, even though you don't want to, I will do that. But only if you say it is mandatory."
"I'm not going to say that."