Ommatidia's recipe for "Bolognese Machiavelli" is a delightfully savage bit of cookery:
1. Arrange to have garlic and onions cast into hot oil.
2. The carrot and celery you must divide against themselves. Ground beef, too, shall turn upon the burner; crush any coherent resistance with a spoon of wood. Sautee until no hint of blood remains to stain your hands.
3. Perhaps, in a dark place without witnesses, the tomato shall meet with the knife.
(Image: Niccolo Machiavelli, a Creative Commons Attribution Share-Alike (2.0) image from robert_scarth's photostream and P6123040, a Creative Commons Attribution (2.0) image from joyosity's photostream)