After "a man's bodily fluids" were observed on a batch of flutes issued to elementary schoolchildren in California, the instruments were recalled and an apology issued. The tainted flutes are variously described as "stained" with or "containing" the mystery fluid, which media does not identify.
The flutes were made of PVC plastic piping and a single wine cork and had an exterior that could be decorated, district officials said. The individual, who was not identified, is an independent contractor. The individual wasn't an employee of the affected Orange County districts and worked at multiple schools districts in Southern California. … "We were informed that an independent contractor who provided a music enrichment program to the fifth-grade classes at Courreges Elementary School, in June 2017, gave the students flutes/recorders that were potentially contaminated with bodily fluids," said Mark Johnson, superintendent of the Fountain Valley School District, in an email. The California Department of Justice is investigating the suspect, as is the U.S. Postal Inspection Service, though it was immediately unclear why.
The "inappropriate and unsanitary" body fluid was described as "deeply upsetting to our families" but the school authorities say that the families "may be seeking more details than we can provide," which means that it's definitely jizz.
*meeting at hallmark hq*
"George, I wanted to check to make sure 'Jizz Wailers' is right*
"Yes. Yes, that's right. Jizz Wailers." pic.twitter.com/v2S7I4l74y
— Rob Beschizza (@Beschizza) January 1, 2017