Tossed Dallas

I don't know why I made this. Read the rest

KFC manager complains company is ordering them to reopen lobbies during pandemic

KFC closed its restaurants to all but drive-through customers and deliveries days ago. According to this video, however, the company is quietly ordering managers to keep lobbies open to serve walk-in takeout customers.

I've come up with this plan to protect my employees because they're trying to force us to open the lobby again.

Looks like we're already at the point where companies are testing the ability of government to enforce crisis measures. Read the rest

Britain's sewers blocked by toilet paper alternatives

Britain's ancient, fatberg-infested sewers are already choked to the grates thanks to irresponsible flushings during the coronavirus crisis. People running out of (or hoarding) toilet paper are instead using paper towels, kitchen napkins, wet wipes, newsprint and other materials that won't break down. Northumbrian Water posted this handsome image of the random trash locals are shoving into the system, and told them to cut it out.

The company said it understood people were "only improvising" but the consequences could be "devastating" to homes and the environment.

Head of wastewater networks Simon Cyhanko said they should use the bin.

"We understand some people affected by the limited toilet roll availability may have no choice but to use alternative products," he said.

The company also posted the following photo, which I presume is of the cleanest toilet in Berwick and the ideal that Northumbrian Water hopes all its customers maintain forthwith.

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Tactical toilet paper

Wipe away the coronapocalypse in stealthy style with Renova black toilet paper [Amazon], your everyday carry for the virus crisis. With 140 "very soft and absorbent" 3-ply sheets per 100% virgin pulp roll, you'll make short work of shite for the next few weeks — all without having to fight the army of doomshoppers raiding the tissue aisles daily at Target and Costco. Read the rest

Spotify ran ads for evil clown film "It" on childrens' lullaby playlist

Spotify and Warner Bros are in trouble over ads for It: Chapter Two that played between songs on a childrens' lullaby playlist curated by the streaming audio company.

The advert for the film It: Chapter Two featured the voice of killer clown Pennywise talking and giggling over scary music. ... "For 27 years, I dreamt of you. I craved you. Oh, I missed you," he says, before a siren, drums and other discordant sound effects are played.

The regulator said that it believed this was likely to distress young audiences.

The BBC reports that Spotify claimed that the playlist wasn't for children, despite including "Children's Music", music "For Children" and "English Nursery Tunes". Read the rest

Firemen surprised to see jogger in aftermath of tornado

Her training regimen stops for nothing, not falling branches, downed power lines, gas leaks, loose dogs, dangerous debris in pitch darkness, and certainly not for the tornadoes that tore through Tennessee earlier this week, killing 24. Read the rest

Beach towel pulled from hungry snake

A Sydney veterinarian pulled an entire beach towel from the snake that ate it. The snake, Monty Python, an 18-year-old carpet python, is recovering; no word on the towel.

"A flexible endoscope was placed down Monty's gastrointestinal tract, which allowed us to visualise the end of the towel sitting in her stomach," Small Animal Specialist Hospital posted to Instagram. "With assistance from our internal medicine team, very long forceps were placed through the endoscope and used to grasp the towel." Read the rest

Cookie Monster found OD'd in idling car, charged with child endangerment

A woman dressed as Cookie Monster was arrested this week after being found overdosed in a car after dropping her daughter off at another person's house.

Police found [Monster] wearing the Sesame Street costume slumped over in her idling car behind the home where she had just dropped off her daughter. Narcan was used to revive [Monster]. She was taken to the hospital where she was treated for an apparent heroin overdose. Her friend who alerted police talked with Channel 11 about the scary situation.

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Flat-earther Mike Hughes dies in rocket stunt filmed by "Science" Channel

Daredevil "Mad" Mike Hughes, 64, died Saturday when his steam-powered rocket crashed after a short flight over the Californian desert. Footage of the self-made craft shows its parachute deploying immediately after lift-off and being destroyed by its wake, leaving it with nothing to slow its descent.

A flat-earther, Hughes planned to go high enough to see the curvature of the earth with his own eyes. The launch was being filmed for the so-called "Science Channel", which has come in for heavy criticism for encouraging Hughes' risky stunts.

With the help of his partner Waldo Stakes, Hughes was trying to reach an altitude of 5,000ft (1,525m) while riding his steam-powered rocket, according to Space.com. In the video of the launch, a parachute can be seen trailing behind the rocket, apparently deployed too early, seconds after take-off. In a tweet, the Science Channel said Hughes had died pursuing his dream.

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New York fashion school apologizes for racist catwalk face mask

The Fashion Institute of Technology has apologized for a "clearly racist" show where a black model was asked to wear giant red lips and black plastic ears. The model refused, but white colleages were photographed on the catwalk wearing the bizarre prostheses. The college's president is not sure if there was an explicitly racial comment being made, but is looking into it, reports the BBC:

"Currently," its president Joyce F Brown said in a statement, "it does not appear that the original intent of the design, the use of accessories or the creative direction of the show was to make a statement about race.

"However, it is now glaringly obvious that has been the outcome. For that, we apologise - to those who participated in the show, to students, and to anybody who has been offended by what they saw."

Amy Lefevre, the model who declined, talked to the New York Post and shared a test shot (above) taken before the show in which she wore the accessories.

“I stood there almost ready to break down, telling the staff that I felt incredibly uncomfortable with having to wear these pieces and that they were clearly racist,” Amy Lefevre, 25, told The Post.

“I was told that it was fine to feel uncomfortable for only 45 seconds.”

The designer, Junkai Huang, is reportedly "from China" and unaware of the racial connotations of the mask. Richard Thornn, the producer of the show, is reported to have "screamed" at a student who objected before the show and has more explaining to do. Read the rest

Burger King shows sandwich decaying to moldy slab of meat and bread in new ad

Burger King's switching to preservative-free ingredients, and chose to market this fact by showing what will now happen to its sandwiches if they are left out uneaten. Welcome to the intersection of advertising and earned media, puke bags are under the seats. Read the rest

Michael Avenatti convicted of trying to extort Nike

Michael Avenatti, the pugnacious lawyer who rose to fame representing porn star and Trump mistress Stormy Daniels, is now a convicted criminal. A jury found him guilty today of trying to extort millions of dollars from fashion brand Nike by threatening to publicly accuse them of making illegal payments to amateur athletes. He'll be sentenced in June, and faces two other trials: one on a count of fraud, and another for allegedly stealing Daniels' book advance.

Avenatti made the sign of the cross prior to the verdict being read, stared at the jury and looked down at the table. He told the lawyers, "Great job, you guys," and hugged one of them as he was led away to a backroom. He was not handcuffed. "Of course there will be an appeal," Scott Srebnick, Avenatti's lead defense attorney, told CNN. Srebnick said he was going to meet with Avenatti before his cient was taken to the Metropolitan Correctional Center, where he's been in custody throughout the trial. ...

Nike lawyers who took the stand during the trial said Avenatti told them he would hold a press conference claiming the company illegally paid players. In exchange for not going public, Avenatti told the lawyers in one meeting Nike would have to pay Franklin $1.5 million for any claims he had and immediately pay Avenatti and another attorney $12 million, and guarantee $15 to $25 million in payments for an internal investigation, prosecutors said.

"An old fashioned shakedown," as the prosecutor put it. Read the rest

Wendy's fires staff after sink used as bathtub

Staff at a Wendy's in Greenville, Michigan, are out of a job after video of someone taking a bath in the kitchen sink there went viral.

A 23-second video shared on Facebook, originally posted to the TikTok social media platform, shows a young man partially submerged in a ware-washing industrial sink system — normally used to wash kitchen items — laughing and joking inside the restaurant with other employees. ... In the video, one employee wearing a Wendy’s uniform jokingly says “wash yourself” to the individual in the sink. That individual responds with, “It feels like, it feels like a hot tub. I’m just enjoying life,” as a third person recorded the video while additional laughing can be heard in the background.

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Whataburger flasher killed by 18-wheeler while fleeing from scene

A man reportedly exposed his genitals at a Houston Whataburger, then was struck and killed by an 18-wheeler truck while fleeing on foot. CBS Austin reports that police had arrived and tried to arrest him, but did not pursue him into the freeway.

It happened around 10:15 p.m. at the Whataburger on East Freeway and Wayside.

Houston Police officers responded to a call for a man exposing himself at the drive thru.

When the officer arrived, the man took off on foot, running across I-10.

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Murder defendant becomes angry samurai in court

"You are not samurai!" yells murder defendant Todd Winkler, jabbing his finger at the judge presiding over his murder trial in Placerville, Calif. Winkler, a former fighter pilot and pharmaceutical executive, was ultimately found guilty of murdering his second wife with a pair of scissors. His conviction brought new attention to the death of his first wife in a 1999 car wreck, but no charges were ever filed.

CBS News produced a documentary highlighting his dubious claims to mental illness, The Two Faces of Todd Winkler. The general conclusion from acquaintances and experts seems to be that he's faking it. Read the rest

Pup starts fire

The owner of two dogs installed a camera to keep an eye on their new companions. But it instead solved the mystery of why the Los Alamos-area home ended up on fire: 9-month-old Kahuna knocked over a bunch of clothes that caught fire.

The suspicious-looking iron wasn't on, reports the Los Alamos Daily Post. An out-of-view baseboard heater triggered the blaze.

two pets had evacuated safely.

Cameras are not substitutes for smoke alarms. Read the rest

What exactly is the Thin Blue Line bullet glass suggesting?

The Thin Blue Line Pint Glass [Benshot] and the .308 Authentic Solid Copper Projectile Whiskey Rocks Glass Engraved with Blue Line American Flag [Amazon] are items apparently intended to support the authoritarian mode of policing that imagines itself part of the U.S. flag while dividing it in two. But the addition of a bullet embedded into the design looks more like a violent suggestion than -- whatever it is they think it's saying. It works so well as a sharp anti-police statement that it's the perfect gift for the most adamant antifascist in your love circle.

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