Motorola patents a robocop autonomous car that brethalyzes, mirandizes you, calls your lawyer and collects your bail

In Patent 10049419, "Mobile law enforcement communication system and method," Motorola engineers describe "A communication system, comprising: a self-driving vehicle within which to detain a detainee by a law enforcement officer" that locks you up, administers a breathalyzer, reads you your rights, figures out who your counsel of record is, conferences you in with your lawyer, consults with a court on your bail, and lets you swipe your cards to bail out of the car.

What a fucking time to be alive.

7. The communication system of claim 1, wherein the plurality of interface devices further comprises: 9. a breathalyzer located within the self-driving vehicle for automatically measuring an alcohol level of the detainee. [...] 10. The communication system of claim 1, wherein the plurality of interface devices further comprises: one or more displays located within the self-driving vehicle for presenting legal rights to the detainee; and

responsive to the detainee invoking a right to an attorney, the virtual the assistant generating a query as to pre-existing counsel, and responsive to identification of pre-existing counsel by the detainee, the virtual assistant contacting the identified pre-existing counsel and setting up a real-time audio and display interface between the detainee and the pre-existing counsel within the self-driving vehicle. [...]

11. The communication system of claim 11, wherein the plurality of interface devices further comprises:

12. one or more displays, wherein at least one of the displays provides a real-time display interface to the public defender.

13. The communication system of claim 1, wherein the plurality of interface devices further comprises:

14. an automated payment processing device located within the self-driving vehicle for payment of fines or bail.

15. The communication system of claim 1, wherein the plurality of interface devices further comprises:

16. in response to a verbal request from the detainee to the virtual assistant, the communication system automatically contacts a bail bond company.

(via JWZ)