The world was shocked when Russian troops laid siege to Chernobyl on their way to Kyiv. Predictably the Russian occupying force in Chernobyl has poisoned itself. The world hopes they do not poison others or cause further damage to the site.
Several hundred Russian soldiers were forced to hastily withdraw from the Chernobyl nuclear power plant in Ukraine after suffering "acute radiation sickness" from contaminated soil, according to Ukrainian officials.
The troops, who reportedly dug trenches in a contaminated Red Forest near the site of the worst nuclear disaster in history, are now being treated in a special medical facility in Gomel, Belarus. The forest is so named because thousands of pine trees turned red during the 1986 nuclear disaster. The area is considered so highly toxic that not even highly specialized Chernobyl workers are allowed to enter the zone.
Local reports suggest that seven buses with the zapped troops arrived in Gomel early Thursday. Journalists on the ground have also reported "ghost buses" of dead soldiers being transported from Belarus to Russia under the cover of dark.
**Update: analysis shows this story may be greatly exaggerated: