What if there was more than one song about giving actor Dave Coulier oral sex?

You oughta know that Alanis Morisette's hit single, "You Oughta Know," was allegedly inspired by Morisette's relationship with comedian Dave Coulier, who perhaps most famously portrayed the fun-loving Uncle Joey on TV's Full House. In the first verse of the song Morisette sings the following lyric:

Is she perverted like me?
Would she go down on you in a theatre?

I apologize if this creates any uncomfortable images in your head of Dave Coulier doing his iconic "cut-it-out" move while orgasming to Schindler's List.

The fine folks at my favorite satire site, The Hard Times, have finally asked the question: what if other songs from that era were also about performing oral sex on Dave Coulier in a movie theatre?

Have you ever wondered why the Beach Boys made up a fictional island getaway for this song? In fact, "Kokomo" was never meant to be a place at all, but a metaphor for the band's ardent obsession with Dave Coulier. They parlayed the song into a guest appearance on "Full House" in an attempt to get closer to their celebrity crush, but Coulier played hard to get and the band had to settle for enlisting Uncle Jesse to play drums in the music video.

Really makes you think.

5 Songs You Didn't Know Were About Going Down on Dave Coulier in a Theater [Ted Pillow / The Hard Times]