If you dread decorated trees and Christmas cheer, today is your day! It's Festivus, that is, the anti-commercial holiday that steers clear of the dreaded 25th, beating merrymakers to the punchbowl by celebrating on December 23rd instead.
Festivus, whose origins can be traced back to legendary curmudgeon George Costanza, or rather his father Frank (of Seinfeld mythology), is now a bona-fide holiday to celebrate everything Christmas — dead trees, twinkling lights, good cheer, fancy seven-course meals, and most importantly, an empty bank account — is not.
So if you haven't bought any presents yet, you're in luck! None required.
Still don't have a tree? You're in luck! Just set up a bare metal pole instead. Aluminum is the traditional material, as used by the Costanzas, but any pole will do. And keep it simple — decorations are frowned upon, after all.
Then on the 23rd (today!) invite your friends over for a meatloaf dinner, where everyone can take turns airing their grievances. It might not be pretty, but it's cathartic. And once tempers flare, it will be time for the host to pick a sucker to wrestle to the ground. They will likely choose an incompetent guest most similar to George Costanza, since the goal is to pin and win.
For any details I might have left out, here is "The Story of Festivus," as enacted by the Costanzas themselves in the 166th episode of Seinfeld (circa 1997). And remember, "Festivus is for the rest of us!"
