Mitt Romney was hospitalized and got "a lot of stitches" in his eyebrow and eyelid after a fall that left him unconscious. Although he was playing with his grandchildren when he took the spill, he jokingly blames it on CPAC. "Oh my goodness. I went to CPAC. That was the problem." He never actually attended this year's CPAC. (Perhaps one reason for not going is he wasn't invited – CPAC organizer Matt Schlapp claims he "would be afraid for (Romney's) physical safety, people are so mad at him.")
Top image by Gage Skidmore / Flickr
A racist Karen freaks out on a plane, apparently because people are telling her to wear her mask. She screams she is wearing it, although wearing it as a choker around your neck doesn't count. The commotion causes the pilot to come out and talk to her, and finally she is kicked off the plane.
"Nobody on this airplane is wearing a mask!" she yells, pointing to a mask-wearing crowd.
"Why are you kicking me off the plane!? Because I'm white?" As she is marching off the plane, she screams, "Fuck you, Black people. I hate you."
The passengers applaud as the angry woman exits the plane.
After the CPAC singer murdered the National Anthem, pianist Brandon Ethridge brought the dead back to life by accompanying the song in the key of F, F#, G, and G –. Now it actually sounds pretty good!
An angry white anti-masker at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport was harassing everyone around her (:30), cussing and calling them stupid for wearing masks. She then approaches a Black couple, and immediately a cop rushes over, grabs the Black woman's arm and begins to pull her away. It isn't until the crowd (who is screaming that he has the wrong person) finally gets through to him, that he realizes it was actually the white woman who was causing the trouble.
From Daily Dot:
According to reports, it took roughly 13 seconds for the officer to stop pawing at the Black woman and instead turn his attention on the white woman who had been disturbing the peace the entire time.
The woman who was originally targeted by police believes she was a victim of racial profiling, while the Metropolitan Airports Commission insists that the officer was simply acting on information he had been given by another bystander.
"In the confusion of the moment and based on his understanding of information provided to him by a passenger present, the officer misidentified who had initiated the disturbance and engaged one of the two individuals whom [the woman] had confronted," it said in a statement to KARE 11. "Bystanders corrected the officer who quickly turned his attention on [the woman]."
The white woman was eventually arrested for "possession of drugs, obstruction, and disorderly conduct," according to Daily Dot.
"It is 2021, and progress bars' loading time estimates still suck just as much as they did back when they looked like this [referring to ASCII graphic]" YouTuber Tom Scott says. "Why can't computers just tell you how long something's going to take?"
It's always a good time when your computer's progress bar tells you it's only 15 seconds to go, and then updates you with another 3 minutes to go, and then 20 minutes to go… And will the bar ever run smoother? Probably not, according to Scott.
In his fast-paced, dry-witted explanation, Scott then runs through the many roadblocks that make the progress bar, and its "slightly fancier cousin, the loading time estimate," nearly impossible to work the way we want it to. And there is no good fix on the horizon. In the end, he assures us that faulty progress bars are actually okay, because that's not even their real job. Their real job has nothing to do with numbers or estimations – but rather it's just to assure us that something is actually happening – that progress is indeed being made.
Sadie escaped from her yard and is having a blast barking loudly on a sidewalk for all the neighbors to enjoy – until she hears her human's voice coming from somewhere in the sky, ordering her to go back into the yard. Who knows what kind of logic runs through a doggo's mind ("Why can I hear my human but not see him?"), but Sadie listens and sheepishly goes back home.
This Meidas Touch parody ad, "The Hyatt Hotel: A paradise for Sedition," jabs the hotel chain for hosting this year's CPAC event, whose stage resembled a Nazi rune. "Imagine a destination where conspiracy thrives," the mock ad begins. "Immerse yourself in Nazi symbolism, Putin propaganda, and a QAnon paradise." It's a place where you can "relax with Roger 'Stone' massages and make lifelong memories with Proud Boys."
The ad was inspired by the Nazi hate symbols displayed on CPAC's stage as part of its design. Hyatt has since called the symbols "abhorrent." Did they actually think hosting a pro-Trump CPAC convention would run smoothly?
From The Guardian:
The Hyatt Hotels Corporation called symbols of hate "abhorrent" on Sunday after the design of a stage at the right-wing Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at one of its hotels drew comparisons to a Norse rune used by Nazis during the second world war. …
A photo of the CPAC stage went viral on social media on Saturday, with thousands of Twitter users sharing posts comparing its distinctive design to an othala rune, also known as an odal rune, one of many ancient European symbols that Nazis adopted to "reconstruct a mythic 'Aryan' past", according to the Anti-Defamation League.
These symbols were also displayed at the white supremacist Charlottesville rally in 2017.
In case you missed any of the myriad Andrew Cuomo scandals in the last couple of weeks, John Oliver lays it all out here in a biting nutshell (starts at :30). From the "famously unpleasant" New York governor's outrageous decision to send Covid-19 patients into nursing homes to accusations of sexual harassment from two former aides – not to mention quotes Cuomo made up and a cringe-y vaccination stunt mixed in for good measure – Oliver blasts the "colossal asshole" with a bulleted list of Cuomo's disgraceful wrongdoings in under four minutes. In the process, he asks, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
It's not clear if the dog purposely rides the deck like a Slip 'N Slide, or if this is an accident, but it's amusing either way. Once the dog has all four paws back on the ground, it hops on the deck again, casually this time, as if nothing ever happened.
When it comes to peanut butter, are you in the crunchy or smooth camp? Depending on your answer, PB brand Jif has determined a couple of important facts about you.
After working with OnePoll to conduct a survey asking 2,000 PB junkies (half crunchy fans, half creamy fans) about their peanut butter passions, and also some personal traits, they used hard science (tongue in cheek) to come up with these takeaways:
• Crunchy fans tend to be more optimistic than creamy fans. They are likely to be night owls – and extroverts.
• Conversely, creamy fans are more likely to be early birds – and more introverted. They also feel more judged by their preference than crunchy fans. In fact, 68% have felt pressured to pick crunchy so as not to be judged!
Nearly half of all respondents said when dating someone, it would be a deal-breaker to find out their date was in the other camp. And most importantly, both camps prefer grape jelly over strawberry.
Ted Cruz gave a speech at this year's Conservative Political Action Conference, and came off sounding like an angry comedian at an after-hours bar. In a growling voice, he shouts his truths, including how Cancún is even better than Orlando; how masks are "dumb," how the 2nd amendment makes Houston safe from rioters, and how Trump is here to stay.
These twitter clips are already more than I want to stomach, but here is the long version for anyone who enjoys this genre of horror:
Via Insider
After a year living with a pandemic that requires us to wear a mask in order to stay safe, this woman waltzed into a grocery store without a mask. When asked by the cashier to put one on, she doesn't miss a beat, sticking an arm up her skirt and whipping out a pair of black thong panties. She then proceeds to wear the used underwear over her face. The defiance of coming in without a mask, paired with the determined ease and "quick thinking" of this mask "solution," makes it seem like Karen had pre-planned this stunt. One customer can be heard saying "the bacteria on the mask is less than her knickers."
Via DailyDot
If there was any question about former House Speaker John Boehner and Senator Ted Cruz's relationship, Boehner just answered it. While recording the audio of On the House: A Washington Memoir, his new book, Boehner went off script with a fresh new line: "Oh, and Ted Cruz, go fuck yourself."
Boehner, who once called Cruz "Lucifer in the flesh," half jokes that his "expletives" can be blamed on the liquid courage, er, wine:
From Axios:
The audio version, which includes an even heftier price tag of $39.99, will be sprinkled with Boehner's unfiltered, baritone, inner monologue.
Similar to the cover — where he's pictured in a dark room, drinking red wine with a cigarette burning in an ashtray — Boehner has been taping his audiobook with a glass of wine in hand.
And it's not just the one slip-off-the-script line about Ted Cruz that makes it into the book's audio. According to Axios, "'I can confirm there were some off-script moments during his recording of the audiobook,' Boehner spokesman David Schnittger said. 'He pretty much just let it fly, as he did when he was working on the book itself. He's not really interested in being anything other than himself these days. That is kind of the spirit of the entire project.'"
This isn't the first time John Boehner has told a colleague to go fuck themselves. He once told former Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid to do the same thing:
Image by: Gage Skidmore / Flickr
Rep. Marie Newman responds to Marjorie Taylor Greene's anti-transgender sign with this takeaway: "She's welcome to her sign. No one is buying it, and it's not science."
Greene hung her sign on the wall across from Newman's office yesterday after Newman had put up a transgender pride flag in the same hall. Newman, whose daughter is transgender, was inspired to put up the flag after Greene had opposed the Equality Act. In case you missed the anti-transgender sign incident:
Watch this astounding Ukranian circus performer, Veronica Histova, hop up 9 steps with only one arm. Part of the fun, besides her incredible strength and ability, is watching her costume morph once she's upside down. The video was shot by Ludmila Nosenko, who posted this on her Instagram page.
From Woo Globe:
In this clip, Veronica can be seen preparing for the Youth Circus Festival in Weisbaden (Germany) by performing a mind-bending one-arm steps-jumping trick. The mask between her legs and the way she is using her legs to wave to the crowd make it look as if she is jumping up the steps on one leg and not one arm.