"Holistic Master Coach" says "you do not need glasses" and will heal you for $11

Meet Samantha Lotus. She's a "Holistic Master Coach, Human Optimization Specialist and Business Mentor" who's "passionate about co-creating with Maverick Female Leaders who are committed to living their highest soul expression."

She also doesn't think people need eyeglasses. She posted a video to Instagram below, saying, "What's the one thing that your optometrist doesn't want you to know about? The fact that you do not need glasses. That's right. You may have been told that you need glasses, but that's actually a lie. There are mental, emotional, physical and even spiritual reasons why you may not be seeing, and I'm here to tell you that that can be healed."

In the comments, she said,

I'm teaching an $11 MasterClass this week called VISIO and it is going to blow your mind.

If you are ready to truly see, and you're open to holistic multidimensional healing this is for you.

If you're closed minded and want to stay a victim, this is NOT FOR YOU.

I wanted to make this so ridiculously accessible without making it free as to only attract people that are choosing to commit to themselves.

Intrigued by her ridiculousness, I visited her website, which says, "Samantha invites a select few private clients into her intimate coaching and consulting space."

I clicked the button labeled, "Apply for an exploration call with Samantha," which led to a form that says, "Samantha's coaching is in high demand and there limited spots available. She typically works with people for 3, 6 or 12 months. The minimum investment is $2500/month. All packages are bespoke and custom made for you. Are you currently in a place to invest in yourself in this way?"

If I'm ever in a place to invest in myself this way, please call my shrink.