Kindle
From McSweeney's, "REVIEWS OF DVDS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE PIRATED BUT WERE DEFINITELY BOUGHT ON THE STREET IN SHANGHAI FOR ABOUT A DOLLAR."
Sin CityLink (Thanks, Jim Ruland!)Obtained: Guy standing on Maoming Road, next to guy selling puppies
Price: 8 RMBIn several climactic scenes, including the Jessica Alba dancing segments, the anvil-headed guy in front of the cameraman gets up to go to the bathroom. His big flat head blots out a good 10 percent of the screen. Damn you and your excitement-sensitive bladder, anvil-headed guy. We're looking for you. We'd recognize that jug anywhere.
Ten minutes in, the DVD starts skipping. Repeated cleanings with bottom of T-shirt fail to improve performance. It plays normally again at the 21-minute mark, leaving us confused about where the Bruce Willis character went. After the movie is over, we're still not sure.