The Silent Porn Star blog came across an early membership card, the back of which reads (typos and all):
We assume all prospective Turtles own a Jack Ass. On this assumption is the reason for the password.
This password must be given if you are ever asked by a fellow member, "Are you a Turtle?" You MUST then reply "You bet your sweet ass I am." If you do not give the password in full because of embarassment or some other reason, you forfeit a beverage of his choice. So always remember the password.
As all members are of clean mind to become an official Turtle the person must solve the following riddles with clean-minded correct answers:
1. What is it a man can do standing up, a woman sitting down, and a dog on three legs? (Answer: shake hands).
2. What is it that a cow has four of and woman has only two of? (Answer: legs).
3. What is a four letter word ending in 'k' that means the same as intercourse? (Answer: talk).
4. What is it on a man that is round, hard, and sticks so far out of his pajamas that you can hand a hat on it? (Answer: his head).
You are now a member of The Turtle Club. Govern yourself accordingly and produce new members.
You can join the Turtles by paying a $5 initiation fee. Link