During WWII, group of American pilots founded The International Association of Turtles in an English pub. The basic rules for membership:"You must think with a clean mind and you must be willing to stick your neck out for yourself and for other people in need."
The Silent Porn Star blog came across an early membership card, the back of which reads (typos and all):
We assume all prospective Turtles own a Jack Ass. On this assumption is the reason for the password.
This password must be given if you are ever asked by a fellow member, "Are you a Turtle?" You MUST then reply "You bet your sweet ass I am." If you do not give the password in full because of embarassment or some other reason, you forfeit a beverage of his choice. So always remember the password.
As all members are of clean mind to become an official Turtle the person must solve the following riddles with clean-minded correct answers:
1. What is it a man can do standing up, a woman sitting down, and a dog on three legs? (Answer: shake hands).
2. What is it that a cow has four of and woman has only two of? (Answer: legs).
3. What is a four letter word ending in 'k' that means the same as intercourse? (Answer: talk).
4. What is it on a man that is round, hard, and sticks so far out of his pajamas that you can hand a hat on it? (Answer: his head).
You are now a member of The Turtle Club. Govern yourself accordingly and produce new members.
You can join the Turtles by paying a $5 initiation fee. Link
Alex Wood is an addict but won’t give up his smartphone. But he has five strategies for limiting its control over him: “I used to wake up tired. My body would ache and my head felt sore, like waking up with a hangover. Finally, I took control, like attending an AA class for addicts, I […]
We just got the Sport model of the EPIKGO hoverboard at my office. Besides being terribly chic, it’s apparently bulletproof.
Ok, it’s not just solar powered. It’s also an anti-theft, waterproof marvel that keeps my phone’s power bar from ever getting into the red.Sure the idea seems obvious now – tuck a gigantic solar powered battery pack into an exposed slot and turn the wearer into a walking energy harvester. Simple maybe, but I didn’t […]
Custom coffee vessels are the perfect piece of office flair, but it’s just a matter of time before your VOTE FOR PEDRO mug will start to lose its relevant wit. Why not have a new one every day, with whatever silly nonsense you want sticking off the sides? You can save big on your novelty […]
The Lightning port has thus far resisted the cruel fate that befell the headphone jack, and despite rumors that it may be disappearing come iPhone 8, for the present and foreseeable future, Lightning cables are a hot commodity for iPhone users. As such, we must make do in this strange time in which long, glorified […]
All the filters in the world won’t save your smartphone pics from a shaky hand. To really step up your mobile photography game, you’ll need some kind of mount to hold it steady. You could buy a smartphone attachment for a conventional camera tripod, but who wants to carry that kind of gear everywhere they […]