Giant, hippie-hating, cannibalistic squids attack SF Bay Area


31 Responses to “Giant, hippie-hating, cannibalistic squids attack SF Bay Area”

  1. Takuan says:

    eat them?

  2. cstatman says:

    i go fishing in the sea of cortez every summer. First thing you do in the morning is use jigs and catch 2 or 3 squid. If you run out of bait fish, you can use the squid bits. if not, cook the squid for dinner.

    The Mexican boat captains say the squid are eating everything else, and soon, we will only fish for them.

    FEH. Now they are off the NorCal coast? that’s it, I am not swimming again.

  3. Takuan says:

    I wonder if they take kayakers?

  4. doplgangr says:

    somebody’s been smokin’ that Humboldt Green…

  5. Takuan says:

    ever read Kon Tiki?

  6. benr says:

    Why would people be at all afraid of another species that is cannibalistic?

    -Ben (hippie who’s willing to eat them first)

  7. snufkin says:

    I dissected one of these things in senior year AP Biology in Half Moon Bay High! Woo!

  8. Beanolini says:

    Readers may be interested to know that jet-propelled flying squid were described recently by marine biologists.

  9. coyote says:

    “Marine biologists are working to discover why they’ve headed north from their traditional homes off South America.”

    …uh, maybe because they can range further north because the globves oceans are warming up…?

  10. jimh says:

    Now, the time is nigh. The story brings this link to mind. If you’re only just now preparing, there is little hope for you. At least wear your message to save your own life!

  11. gabrielm says:

    Marine professor Gilly?

    Yeah, this is real…

  12. Takuan says:

    these bastards scare me. To meet them diving without wearing mail and being tied of to the boat? (shudder!)

  13. nanuq says:

    Obviously a sign of God’s wrath. I mean, San Francisco? It’s not quite a plague of locusts but the fundies will be playing this up for everything they can get.

  14. Takuan says:

    no no, “gods wrath” IS fundies

  15. libelle says:

    Why do words like “eldritch” and “chthonic” come to mind?

  16. Takuan says:

    you’re gripping your tongue between your teeth?

  17. cephalopod says:

    I get two points for this story, and Captain Tom gets a tentacle slap for referring to squid as fish.

  18. Technical Writing Geek says:

    They look really cool. I wouldn’t pick one up, but they’re graceful and beautiful in the water.

  19. Freddie Freelance says:

    They were everywhere off the coast of San Diego earlier this year:

  20. AliasUndercover says:

    Maybe the sharks told them how delicious that new shark repellent is.

  21. redsquid says:

    As a red squid living off the coast of Florida I have to join in. The plural of ‘squid’ is ‘squid’. We only use ‘squids’ as a self referential slang, as in ‘me and my squids was hanging out off San Fran when we decided to go inshore and eat some hippies.’ You did get the anti-hippie agenda spot-on. When not eating hippies or moving our tentacles in new and expressive ways we also enjoy squirting ink on stuff, especially walls, canvases, cars, and discarded television sets. Squid have an afinity for adhesive art and pacific rim cuisine, no matter how September 10th it is. We absolutely hate faux-hawks. WE ARE NOT AT ALL TASTY! Our flavor is best described as a cross (or culinary mash up, if you will) between stale peeps, warm domestic lager, and concentrated pork ramen flavor packets (the really cheap kind). Our texture is so rubbery we make the lesser market squid seem as soft as room temperature yogurt. In closing- please leave us alone. If you do we promise to help rid California of its unbearable hippie infestation. Pinkie promise!

  22. i_am_at_work says:

    “All the punks are gonna scream yippee! ‘Cause it’s the thing that only eats hippies!”

    First thing that popped into my head.

  23. Takuan says:

    mmmm,rubbery! So, ah, you doin anything later?

  24. Antinous says:

    I liked it when she said Mesopelagic. That’s a great word.

    Yeah, but ‘abyssopelagic’ is even better. Who was the narratrix? Hillary Swank, maybe?

  25. constance says:

    they look really beautiful in the waters.

  26. Gatorfree says:

    I liked it when she said “Mesopolagic.” That’s a great word.

  27. Spoon says:


    Or perhaps a random mutation that allows them to thrive in a different environment?

  28. Shalom says:


  29. soupertrooper says:

    To any of those who seriously doubt, Google Bodega Bay Humbolt Squid Trips. While fun, these charters can get VERY messy. The Humbolts release huge ammounts of ink making the deck very slippery. In the end I had more calamari than I could use which made friends and family very happy.

  30. Guesstimate Jones says:

    Wondering if the presence of the squid is related to the delining salmon populations…

  31. POLOMOCHE says:

    I’ve seen them here in Newport Beach; a few years ago a couple hundred washed up on the shore.

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