Funny Gummi Lighthouses


47 Responses to “Funny Gummi Lighthouses”

  1. TayArgJosh18 says:

    What’s the joke? Stop dicking us around and give us a firm answer. You might have thought you won this round, but I will lick you yet.

  2. Jackson says:

    I don’t really understand why there’s a great need for gummi lighthouses, but I guess it’s not surprising that the people making those aren’t the sort to go “hey…turn it sideways and it’s a penis!”

    Still, though…

  3. pauldrye says:

    For similar reasons, I have an engraving of the Eddystone Lighthouse (one of the older ones, not the current one) above my bed.

  4. Mantari says:

    I think those lighthouses would be fabulous if only they were significantly taller! A seaman needs a tall lighthouse that can be seen for miles.

  5. ill lich says:

    My gummi worm is bigger.

  6. mcgringostarr says:

    the resemblance to GUMMI PENISES is uncanny!

  7. cherry shiva says:

    didja gum yet ?

  8. jonathan_v says:


    This is something I never thought I’d say:

    Those look nothing like “Penis Gummies” ( ) or “Super Fun Penis Candy” ( ) to me.

  9. spincycle says:

    I *love* gummi anything…

    ..and deeply regret that it’s hs ard to find VEGETARIAN gumminesss.

  10. Antinous says:

    Kanamara Matsuri Scroll down for the Penispops.

  11. Xopher says:

    Didn’t I see this exact picture on Boing Boing a couple of weeks ago? I could swear I did.

  12. TonksPlum says:

    Good grief my mind is in the gutter… my first thought was not a light house….
    Innocence of youth, where have you gone off to?!…

  13. geekd says:


    This was on the Fail Blog a few weeks ago. Perhaps you saw it there.

  14. Phikus says:

    MCRINGOSTARR @#7: Really? So you have a bag of Gummi Penisis(tm) for comparison? Why scrutinize so rigidly? Are you being a stand-up guy to point this out, or just cumming to a foreskin conclusion? If it’s true what you say, then the designer should be sacked.

  15. Antinous says:

    Didn’t I see this exact picture on Boing Boing a couple of weeks ago?

    Or you could be thinking of the Fun Straws.

  16. Anonymous says:

    I need to find out where I can purchase a few dozen of these.

    Now, when I suggest some jerk go “eat a bag of dicks”, I can follow up by smiling politely and offer them a delicious bag of colorful fruit confectionary!

  17. minTphresh says:

    these go great with the “twin peaks” gummis!

  18. mcgringostarr says:

    #8 gravity and age will prove me right!

  19. Poormojo says:

    I thought these were hilarious when I blogged them a few weeks back.

  20. Teresa Nielsen Hayden / Moderator says:

    So did I. Stuff goes around.

  21. oulipian says:

    Those sure are some colourful off-colour gummies! Funny, a lot of things on Boing Boing seem to be off-colour today.

  22. Phikus says:

    The Consumerist also featured some dog treats resembling the wrong kind of bone…

  23. Torley says:

    When are Spore creature candies coming?

  24. LindsayC says:

    Interesting- the lighthouse gummies look more like penises than the penis gummies… which makes them exponentially more disturbing/funny

  25. dbarak says:

    Cummi Lighthouses…?

  26. Kabur Naj says:

    Hmmm, interesting…. They would appear to be Jewish lighthouses…

  27. minamisan says:

    what’s all this talk about penises? all i see here are lighthouses.

  28. bolamig says:

    Phallic lighthouse gummi candies is about the most specialized product niche I have ever seen. I want to know what the distribution channel is for this product. How is it that someone can make money selling phallic lighthouse gummi candies but I still can’t find a decent looking watch that clips onto my belt loop?

  29. serial says:

    Is this the same company that made gummi Georgia O’Keefe prints?

  30. Antinous says:

    Clearly you’ve done more penis research than me. I really should get out more.

  31. dougrogers says:

    Geeez. Sometimes a gummy chewy lighthouse is just a gummy chewy lighthouse.

  32. genericvox says:

    -Did you just say he’s hung like a lighthouse?

    -No, hung like a *gummi* lighthouse. And just as tasty!

  33. Bookyloo says:

    “I called walmart to tell them that these Gummi Lighthouses look like the private male area. And they acted like I was making it up! The way they treated me just wasn’t right.”

    tee hee

    Fucking hilarious. I apply occam’s razor to this one. What seems like a simpler explanation? That a candy company came up with “gummi LIGHTHOUSES(???!!)” as a concept, or that they went “quick, what should we put on the Gummi Dick packages to get ‘em through customs??”

  34. MaliaO says:

    When dining on Gummi Bears, I bite their heads off first, then their legs, and pop the torso in y mouth for afters. Am going to have to think about where to start on the “Lighthouse”.

  35. DWNLDTH5 says:


    Perhaps they are.

  36. slideguy says:

    Nothing gets by you people.

  37. arbitraryaardvark says:

    This would be funny, except that gummies are made from gelatin, and gelatin is made from pigs, cows, etc. < most people don’t know that stands for gummi the bear.

  38. Antinous says:

    I’ll take the pork chop straight up then. Or in this case the pork…well…better not to think about that.

  39. StrangeInterlude says:

    Dear Mill Farm Candies,

    I bought a bag of your gummy penises the other day, and was shocked to discover that the penises resembled miniature lighthouses. Children should not be subjected to such shoddy representations of the human anatomy. What’s next, gummy anuses that look like peach rings?

    Yours truly,


  40. RevJerome says:

    Just seen at Walgreens…

    These Hanna Montana gummies are disturbing too…

    Before you think I’m a perv, they are a lot more disturbing looking in person.

    They stopped me in my tracks at the store.

  41. shmengie says:

    now i can tell my gf, “c’mon, baby…it’s time to man the lighthouse.”

  42. malpomme says:

    they’re biceps!

  43. TigR says:

    The joke is truly in our hands.

  44. Antinous says:

    Why didn’t these exist when they made Hedwig and The Angry Inch? There’s even a gummi bear scene!

  45. fnc says:

    I’m only slightly disappointed that I was expecting to get to see models of lighthouses made out of gummi candies and did not find them. This’ll do, however.

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