Mark Frauenfelder at 10:43 am Mon, Jun 30, 2008
ADVERTISE AT BOING BOING!
What’s the joke? Stop dicking us around and give us a firm answer. You might have thought you won this round, but I will lick you yet.
I don’t really understand why there’s a great need for gummi lighthouses, but I guess it’s not surprising that the people making those aren’t the sort to go “hey…turn it sideways and it’s a penis!”
For similar reasons, I have an engraving of the Eddystone Lighthouse (one of the older ones, not the current one) above my bed.
I think those lighthouses would be fabulous if only they were significantly taller! A seaman needs a tall lighthouse that can be seen for miles.
My gummi worm is bigger.
the resemblance to GUMMI PENISES is uncanny!
didja gum yet ?
This is something I never thought I’d say:
Those look nothing like “Penis Gummies” ( http://passionate-pleasures.com/catalog/images/9003401N%20PENIS%20GUMMIES.jpg ) or “Super Fun Penis Candy” ( http://www.chocolatefantasies.com/penis-candy-header.jpg ) to me.
I *love* gummi anything…
..and deeply regret that it’s hs ard to find VEGETARIAN gumminesss.
Kanamara Matsuri Scroll down for the Penispops.
Didn’t I see this exact picture on Boing Boing a couple of weeks ago? I could swear I did.
Good grief my mind is in the gutterâ€¦ my first thought was not a light houseâ€¦.
Innocence of youth, where have you gone off to?!…
This was on the Fail Blog a few weeks ago. Perhaps you saw it there.
MCRINGOSTARR @#7: Really? So you have a bag of Gummi Penisis(tm) for comparison? Why scrutinize so rigidly? Are you being a stand-up guy to point this out, or just cumming to a foreskin conclusion? If it’s true what you say, then the designer should be sacked.
Didn’t I see this exact picture on Boing Boing a couple of weeks ago?
Or you could be thinking of the Fun Straws.
I need to find out where I can purchase a few dozen of these.
Now, when I suggest some jerk go “eat a bag of dicks”, I can follow up by smiling politely and offer them a delicious bag of colorful fruit confectionary!
these go great with the “twin peaks” gummis!
These were also featured prominently on The Consumerist.
#8 gravity and age will prove me right!
I thought these were hilarious when I blogged them a few weeks back.
So did I. Stuff goes around.
Those sure are some colourful off-colour gummies! Funny, a lot of things on Boing Boing seem to be off-colour today.
The Consumerist also featured some dog treats resembling the wrong kind of bone…
When are Spore creature candies coming?
Interesting- the lighthouse gummies look more like penises than the penis gummies… which makes them exponentially more disturbing/funny
Hmmm, interesting…. They would appear to be Jewish lighthouses…
what’s all this talk about penises? all i see here are lighthouses.
Phallic lighthouse gummi candies is about the most specialized product niche I have ever seen. I want to know what the distribution channel is for this product. How is it that someone can make money selling phallic lighthouse gummi candies but I still can’t find a decent looking watch that clips onto my belt loop?
Is this the same company that made gummi Georgia O’Keefe prints?
Clearly you’ve done more penis research than me. I really should get out more.
Geeez. Sometimes a gummy chewy lighthouse is just a gummy chewy lighthouse.
-Did you just say he’s hung like a lighthouse?
-No, hung like a *gummi* lighthouse. And just as tasty!
“I called walmart to tell them that these Gummi Lighthouses look like the private male area. And they acted like I was making it up! The way they treated me just wasn’t right.”
Fucking hilarious. I apply occam’s razor to this one. What seems like a simpler explanation? That a candy company came up with “gummi LIGHTHOUSES(???!!)” as a concept, or that they went “quick, what should we put on the Gummi Dick packages to get ‘em through customs??”
When dining on Gummi Bears, I bite their heads off first, then their legs, and pop the torso in y mouth for afters. Am going to have to think about where to start on the “Lighthouse”.
Perhaps they are.
Nothing gets by you people.
This would be funny, except that gummies are made from gelatin, and gelatin is made from pigs, cows, etc. firstname.lastname@example.org < most people don’t know that stands for gummi the bear.
I’ll take the pork chop straight up then. Or in this case the pork…well…better not to think about that.
Dear Mill Farm Candies,
I bought a bag of your gummy penises the other day, and was shocked to discover that the penises resembled miniature lighthouses. Children should not be subjected to such shoddy representations of the human anatomy. What’s next, gummy anuses that look like peach rings?
Just seen at Walgreens…
These Hanna Montana gummies are disturbing too…
Before you think I’m a perv, they are a lot more disturbing looking in person.
They stopped me in my tracks at the store.
now i can tell my gf, “c’mon, baby…it’s time to man the lighthouse.”
The joke is truly in our hands.
Why didn’t these exist when they made Hedwig and The Angry Inch? There’s even a gummi bear scene!
I’m only slightly disappointed that I was expecting to get to see models of lighthouses made out of gummi candies and did not find them. This’ll do, however.
Mail (will not be published) (required)