Giant misshapen pumpkins

IMG_0586.JPGI took this photo of two pumpkins weighing around 700 lbs each outside the hardware store in Sebastopol, Calif.


  1. Blech – There is something that disgusts me about these super jumbo pumpkins we see every year.

    They just look wrong, kind of like BBW porn.

  2. They are shaped like that because of their weight. They just dont have the structure to be nice and round as they grow. Where I live, they have ‘Pumpkinfest’ every year, which started as a pumpkin growing compitition, but also became a huge car show that takes up 1/4 of the town for a weekend. In 2004 they had the world record pumpkin weighing in at 1446 pounds!

  3. Misshapen and weird pumpkins are the best for carving, though to work the ones in the photo, you’d probably need a chainsaw instead of a steak knife.

    This year we scored one that had tons of bumps and scabs on the skin so that it looked like it had eczema. It also had a big line around the middle, sort of an equatorial indent, that made it look like an orange Muppet. All in all, a great pumpkin.

    (until three days later when it turned all black and fuzzy inside. and not the good kind of black-n-fuzzy found on Zeppelin or Hendrix posters.)

  4. They look like those enormous people you sometimes see on the Discovery Channel where they have to, like, excavate a wall to get them out of their house.

  5. Wow, people can’t even comment on *pumpkins* without expressing fat-hate. Disgusting.

    I think these are wonderful — so unique, with lovely undulating lines and curves that invite tactile engagement.

  6. I wonder if it’s possible to sort of ‘babysit’ a pumpkin through this growing process so that you can have a massive, normal shaped pumpkin?

  7. It disturbs me more than a little that Takuan @ 6 has pulled up a clip of pumpkins, floating on water, stuffed with people. I do hope they’re on a land-locked lake.

  8. somewhere in canada, at long last, a lightbulb went on, and a designer bent over his easel to begin work on costumes for the next cirque de soleil.

  9. Doesn’t it seem likely that this is what pumpkins normally look like and those perfectly round, bright orange things at the supermarket are the product of Monsantification?

  10. I wonder if you could put some kind of form against the skin of these, so that the pumpkin would grow into it and then when you removed the form you’d have it embossed on the surface? Like a reverse-carving…

  11. I guess I’m the only one who, reading the title of this post, immediately had it playing in his head to the tune of “Hava Nagila.”

    Yeah, thought so.

    But now you’ve got it, don’t you? “GI-ant…misshapen PUMPkins…misshapen PUMPkins…”

    This earworm brought to you by Xopher, whose mental cruelty knows no bounds.

  12. NPR had a story on giant pumpkins recently. I didn’t know they posed an explosion risk, but one grower said it’s absolutely true.

  13. Explosion risk?! Then it’s a good thing they’re not anywhere near the propane tanks.

    oh, wait . . .

    (btw: are these pumpkins illegally parked in a handicap spot?)

  14. There was a great special on PBS last year about giant pumpkins and the folks who grow them. Nothing grows as fast as those suckers — up to 40 pounds a day. You can actually see them grow.

  15. I must say: The combined comments (even the ‘mean’ ones) for this post are the funniest thing I’ve seen all day. #9 had me slapping my knee…

    And ‘pumpkin’ must be one of the silliest, most harmless words in the English language… so placed next to ‘giant’ or better yet ‘exploding’. it just greatly adds to the humour, somehow.

  16. Uh, misshapen? Seriously? Oh, right, as in Lake Tahoe is misshapen. I get it.

    (Maybe go with funny-shaped or look-at-those-giant-orange-blobs.)

  17. Elvis? I don’t understand. Those aren’t the shape that we normally associate with pumpkins, and they look kind of distorted and…well, yucky. I think ‘misshapen’ is a pretty good term. What’s your objection?

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