Hierarchy of Beards: the evolutionary history of face-fur

Wondermark's latest print, the "Hierarchy of Beards," depicts the evolutionary history of luxuriant face-fur.

Hierarchy of Beards Print, Hierarchy of Beards -- large image (Thanks, Dave!)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: Art and Design • Comics • Funny • Holiday

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Anonymous

beards!

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2153/2535785043_aeaa4a02da_o.jpg
Mary McKinney

Great names: Flapwings, Claus-esque, Maltese, etc.,.
normd

“lose your keys” -HA!
geopet

Honestly? I’m shocked no one has mentioned the Douche yet. Below the Wilted Cigar and above the Standard Cop. Hilarious!
chetspartan

It has to be said, beards.org

I wonder how many of these you could find on the site.

My own – http://www.beards.org/images/displayimage.php?album=48&pos=4

My old roommate’s – http://www.beards.org/images/displayimage.php?album=48&pos=11
Takuan

and the segue into
http://www.christianmontoya.com/wp-content/randoms/mullets.jpg
Takuan

also, no Hide-a-cat?
me3dia

You may also be interested in “Beards in Battle,” a reproduction of Civil War tobacco cards.
DarthTurducken

I love Wondermark!
tanner

My wife made nearly the exact same print about mustaches a little over a year ago. Literally, almost the same layout with the scroll thing underneath the portraits. She just sold hers locally, never put it online. It just amazes me how alike people think.
Anonymous

Aw, rats! I wish I’d seen this a year ago – I did a presentation for my Social Psych of Attitudes class on mens’ facial hair.
franko

i have to be a wet blanket, but some of these are clearly MUSTACHE styles, (e.g., sans beard.)
airship

I beg to differ. Real men don’t shave at all. They proudly wear their facial hair as Almighty God intended – full and unkempt.
Chicchan

Hmmmmhm

I guess Che GuevaraÂ´s would be somewhere in between chilly chin and wilted cigar
demidan

How could Che Guevara have anything other than a Douche?
Bob

Frank, no, there are true beards there as well. The one that caught my attention is the Hyneman, an obvious reference to one of the hosts of Mythbusters.
Takuan

piff! call THAT a beard?
http://features.cgsociety.org/story_custom.php?story_id=3889&referer=newsletter
MajorD

Puts one in mind of the old Soviet poster of their great leaders (and this Chinese version, known affectionately to foreign diplomats as “The History of Shaving”.
Anonymous

My favorite is Douche..

Greetings from Lithuania
Tomas
k012957

Lose-your-Keys!!!!

Now I know what mine is called!
Micah

Related, an old friend did a series of portraits called “Beards: Portraits of Confederate Generals, Zionist Leaders and Enemies of the State.”

Unfortunately her website is all flash, so I can’t link direction, but if you click on Artwork and then Beards, you can see some examples of her work.
acb

There’s a similar page in Lord Breaulove Swells Whimsy’s The Affected Provincial’s Companion (a little book that’s a must for lovers of fine typography, ornate anachronism and high dandyism).
Takuan

http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/07/13/funny-pictures-is-a-beard/?cp=2
Pope Ratzo

They left off my prized soul-patch, aka “chin-spinach”.
avraamov

http://www.folknet.co.uk/pugwash/morris.htm
Roy Trumbull

A reporter in China realized that the Chinese have trouble telling westerners apart just as westerners have trouble telling the Chinese apart. Pointing at a poster showing Marx, Lenin, Stalin, and Mao he asked who were those men>? The reply was, “We call that poster the history of shaving.”
airship

I am the proud owner of a near-perfect Claus-esque. It is especially handy this time of year, as it makes me very popular around young children and young adult women. :)
Daemon

Huh. I have an almost perfect comic-con. It’s just not square at the bottom.

Would have been more interesting if it included all the (often incredibly silly) real-life names for beard styles that already exist. Like mutton-chops…
IamInnocent

Thanks, I needed that to make sense of what growingly happened to me for a few months now.
Anonymous

If the Friendly Mutton Chops are absent, this cannot be considered a true hierarchy of facial hair.
DrAbeFroman

We at the American Mustache Institute (http://www.americanmustacheinstitute.org/) believe beards to be disturbing as they are inferior forms of facial hair constituting the â€œspousal compromise.â€ This is the half-way meeting point between the utter weakness of the clean-shaven mortal and the sheer power of the mustached American. It’s where oneâ€™s spouse suggests that weak middle ground as an alternative to the power of the Labia Sebucula (Latin for “Lip Sweater”).
andygates

Good to see my flapwings dominate! Bwahahaha!
Anonymous

Heehee, they included the Hyneman (4th row, 2nd from the left)