Mother Jones on mints for your vagina

Jen Phillips at Mother Jones has an essay about Linger, an “internal feminine flavoring.” 

A little digging revealed that Linger is made/distributed by a company called Admints, which just happens to make trade show mints.  And the Linger samples just happen to have have the exact same shape, taste, and ingredients as Admint’s sample mints. So how does Linger manage to pass off breath mints as vaginal Tic Tacs in $7.99 packs?  Despite the salacious creation story and testimonials on its site (”It gets a little warm as it starts to dissolve which took just under an hour. Then, it is SO good!!”), the mint is labeled “for novelty use only.”  This is a common practice in the sex-products industry, explains Charlie Glickman, the education program manager at Good Vibrations.  It gives manufacturers some cover if something goes awry, he explains. “They could say, ‘It’s just a novelty toy. You weren’t actually expecting to use this were you?’”  And if you actually do expect to use Linger to “flavor the woman in a manner that is safe and effective,” be warned: its primary ingredient is sugar, which is not safe for the vagina.  It messes up the pH and can lead to a really painful yeast infection, a condition that definitely doesn’t make someone want to “linger.”

Vagina mints (Via Sociological Images)

• [Anonymous]

  Did you mean to put a vagina-related story just after one about “seminal” papers?

• [reznicek111]

  When Bessie Smith sang, “I Need a Little Sugar in My Bowl,” I’m pretty sure this was *not* what she meant.

• [chgoliz]

  Guys (and I mean that literally)…it’s not about taste.

  Certain mints create a wonderful heat on sensitive skin.

  And by heat, I mean mind-blowing orgasms for the woman.

  But yeah, the sugar part is a problem.

• [Teresa Nielsen Hayden]

  The mints may be passed off as a novelty, but sugary vaginal products are guaranteed to raise the rate of yeast infections.

  If they’re sugar-based mints, what distinguishes them from any other candy mints on the market?

• [blueelm]

  Hmmm, wouldn’t a little edible massage oil be a nicer choice? Provided it didn’t wasn’t cinnamon I suppose….

• [nutbastard]

  we have 9,000 artificial sweeteners and they use actual SUGAR… in a vaginal candy?

  *facepalm*

• [Sekino]

  At least the logo doesn’t lie: It’s a Tic Tac stuck up a vagina alright.

  • [Anonymous]

    Oh wait… it does!

• [rhys]

  this would be far more amusing if they were ass mints, designed to give your ‘end-air’ a pleasant minty freshness. ‘rec-mint’ perhaps? maybe an alternative product line at least…

• [DasBub]

  This has upset my entire world-view.

  Nothing makes sense anymore.

  Would someone just calmly reassure me that edible underwear IS meant to be worn?

• [Anonymous]

  So nobody made the joke yet about a vaginal flavoring being called a condom-mint?????

• [Gloria]

  If it contains sugar, I don’t know how they get away with advertising it as “safe.” Ok, it’s safe in that it doesn’t kill you, but jeebus.

  I think my boyfriend would scoff at this. He generally feels that a woman tastes pretty damn good as she is (but maybe that’s just what he says when I’m asking).

  • [phenomenon]

    As long as you keep things clean he’s probably not.

    And anyone who thought for a moment that sugar + vagina = smrat… Yeah. Not going to end well is it?

  • [nutbastard]

    as a friend of mine once put it, the best tasting pussy is the one that doesn’t taste like anything at all.

• [SkullHyphy]

  That’s weird; I was just joking the other day that someone could use Altoids for this purpose. What other scents and tastes would we like to have emanate from this area? Strawberry? Coffee? Cookie dough?

• [Anonymous]

  WHO the fuck would WANT a ‘vaginal candy’? That’s just stupid! Just another product promoting the idea that vaginas are dirty and smelly. Fuck that noise.

• [Lady Katey]

  IIRC there are PLENTY of flavored lubes on the market- should we get up in arms about them, too?

  A quicker, cheaper, and safer way to get this ‘vaginal mint’ effect would be for the mint to be ingested orally by other other participant(s).

  • [blueelm]

    The difference being that they are usually designed to be safe for that area.

    I guess my point would be– stick with flavored lubes people, your vagina doesn’t need any sugar in it.

• [Antinous / Moderator]

  I can’t wait for them to start re-packaging gummi worms.

• [cstatman]

  no noooo oh no, noooo

  please do not

  oh nooo… who? my brain cannot wrap around this.

• [Anonymous]

  Remembers me of that prank advertisement where this guy puts a Mentos in girls vagina… Fresh goes better ;-P

• [unruly katy]

  Kee-rist. Is there no end to the stupidity we smartest yet stupidest of animals will come up with?

• [Anonymous]

  Just what I always needed, an instant yeast infection. Thanks, Linger!

• [MelSkunk]

  I always thought that novelty product disclaimer was for areas that forbid sex toys?

• [Teller]

  Heaven’s Gate needs no embellishment.

• [pinehead]

  Reminded me of a bit from comedian Tommy Tiernen involving a sexual encounter with a lady and a tub of Vick’s Vap-O-Rub. I imagine the shrieking in Tommy’s story would be comparable to what you’d get if you tried to hide a few of these mints in your panties.

  • [Antinous / Moderator]

    a sexual encounter with a lady and a tub of Vick’s Vap-O-Rub.

    Actually, gay men used Tiger Balm as lube back in the 70s until the lube manufacturers finally caught on and started making ‘hot’ lube.

• [RevelryByNight]

  They likely hold stock in Monistat, too. Cripes, they may as well make a sexy, “novelty” yogurt, too, and sell it with the mints in a “gift pak” just to counteract their absolute stupidity.

• [pinehead]

  *TiernAn, excuse me