Poe's mysterious stranger misses annual grave visit

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41 Responses to “Poe's mysterious stranger misses annual grave visit”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Did anybody just ASK him?

  2. Yamara says:

    The mystery will deepen when, many miles to the northeast, the Boston Police Department will report that a John Doe of approximately the same build as the Toaster was found last night lying in a state of delirium outside a polling place, before being taken to Massachusetts General where he was admitted in critical condition.

    Efforts to save him proved fruitless; his only words before he died were repeating the name “Scott Brown”.

  3. Anonymous says:

    wasn’t this resolved last year when the “mysterious stranger” revealed himself to be a member of a local historical society engaged in a cross generational publicity stunt?

  4. UncommonSense says:

    35 posts until a “nevermore” reference? For shame.

  5. technogeek says:

    Poe was a temperance man. Amontillado might make sense. Cognac feels stylish but pointless.

    What am I missing?

  6. Anonymous says:

    There is no consistency
    in the end only inconsistency
    randomness and chaos

  7. Felton says:

    Yesterday though, the man never showed up.

    Sounds like the premise for an amazing tale of mystery and macabre.

  8. dbarak says:

    So if the Poe toaster is toast, who’s going to toast
    Poe AND the toasted Poe toaster?

  9. Anonymous says:

    Maybe he got a DUI from drinking half a bottle of Cognac?

  10. arkizzle / Moderator says:

    ^ Well played, both! :)

    ..of course, you could further ask Ken Snider, the Poe toaster poster hoster.

  11. Anonymous says:

    I think the Toaster is toast.

    The mystery here is how to solve the mystery of the missing Toaster, without ruining the mystery of the Toaster. Quite a jam.

  12. David Pescovitz says:

    Fanfic at the cemetery!

  13. coaxial says:

    Shit! That was yesterday?
    ;)

  14. Brainspore says:

    Job opportunity! Any Boingers live in Balitmore?

  15. Shlepzig says:

    I think this means 6 more weeks of winter. A particularly dark and forboding winter.

    -Shlep’

  16. greytone says:

    Yes. But organization skills and punctuality not up to snuff.

  17. macho says:

    My favourite part of the story was that it was, in fact, a half-full bottle of cognac.

  18. Anonymous says:

    As soon as the “torch” had been passed, the notes left by the toaster start to get moronic.

    One about how he’s reluctant to leave a FRENCH product (the cognac). One predicting the outcome of the superbowl. It’s a shame the torch has been passed to a war-loving football lunkhead. Not sad to see the tradition end if it’s just gonna get stupided-up.

  19. Cowicide says:

    Ug… the guy didn’t want to give Poe a French cognac during the Iraq war? That sours the mystery for me a bit if that’s really true. I guess he could have brought him a freedom cognac instead… :/

    • Felton says:

      Or some amontillado.

      Yeah, I missed that part upon first reading. Keep your partisan pot-shots off the final resting place of Poe!

  20. Chentzilla says:

    a mysterious man would visit Edgar Allan Poe’s grave on his birthday

    Whose birthday? The tombstone clearly says that Poe’s wasn’t yesterday.

  21. semiotix says:

    To be fair, this is precisely the sort of thing that gets a lot less romantic and interesting when the “mysterious figure” is staked out by a mob of people standing right there, probably tweeting the whole thing from their smartphone which also uploads video. Whoever had the job probably realized this was the year a bunch of people were just going to follow him back to his car and crowdsource his license plate number.

  22. Anonymous says:

    Perhaps the toaster read the New Yorker’s recent piece on Poe — which pointed out his evil, greed and alcohol-fueled deeds — and decided to give it a pass this year.

  23. Anonymous says:

    Very nice post. I really enjoy the reading. I come here from the google while searching for some good article.

  24. kid.chivalrous says:

    i guess the world really is ending

  25. mneptok says:

    The crowd stood spellbound still awaiting, palpable tension not abating,
    By the gravesite there in Baltimore.
    Looking for roses and the cognac that would tell them he had come back
    But what mind could ever fathom what for.
    Would the stranger be back as in the days of yore?
    Quoth the stranger, “Nevermore.”

  26. Fred H says:

    Damn! My annual: Free Roses and High End Cognac from Off of Poe’s Grave event is over.I feel a little less beautiful, and a lot less drunk. The roses are easy to come by, but the COGNAC!

  27. Nash Rambler says:

    Brainspore beat me to it, but yes, what is pictured is not Poe’s headstone. He was born January 19th, 1809. What is pictured is just a marker for where he was originally buried. Poe’s current spot of burial has a large white marble edifice over it, w/ a bronze relief of Poe on the front of it. Honestly, it’s pretty classy.

    • Felton says:

      Well, the first date on the marker in the picture is two days after Poe’s recorded death, so maybe it’s a headstone for his zombie.

  28. Cynical says:

    Wait;

    Poet Poe’s ghost’s morose ghostly toaster no show? Oh woe, fo’ sho yo. No mo’ Amontillado fo’ Poe? Oh no:(

  29. David Pescovitz says:

    OK, I changed the image to an illustration of his current Memorial Grave.

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