Child sorts out concept of gay marriage: "Husbands and Husbands" (video)

The adorable little boy in this video, whose name is Calen, is sorting out what it means when two fellas get married to one another.

At one point, while face-palming, he says pensively: "I always see husbands and wifes, but this is the very first time I saw husbands and husbands! That's so funny. So—so you love each other! [...] I'm gonna go play now."

Video: Husbands and Husbands. Flip-cammed and uploaded by YouTube user TheColonelFrog.

Alternate video url 1, and Alternate video url 2.

(Dangerous Minds via Oh Have You Seen This, thanks Tara McGinley!).


  1. Gawd, how the a**holes are going to jump all over this video.
    Indoctrination! Perversion of the innocent! The children will be CONFUSED and corrupted!
    You know it’s REALLY evil when he figures out the two men are together because they LOVE each other. Jesus hates that sh*t.

    1. I know right, “They cornered him in the bathroom!”

      Ugh! I’m not going to think about that and spoil the feel-good vibe. Happy thoughts now. Happy thoughts.

  2. “So—you love each other! … I’m gonna go play now. You can play too if you like.”

    See how the moral fabric of America gets destroyed? Right there! … Uh, when… Um…

    Why can’t you beam this attitude straight into congress?

  3. This is a private video. If you have been sent this video, please make sure you accept the sender’s friend request.

  4. Aw, it’s been switched to private. I saw this yesterday, though, and was impressed that 100% of the comments were positive. :D

  5. “This is a private video. If you have been sent this video, please make sure you accept the sender’s friend request.”

    So when can the rest of us watch? I thought this was a public site, not just for your close friends.

  6. Aaw. Saw this yesterday, it’s super cute.

    Sorry it got set to private, but understand from the family’s POV. This has potential to be a David After the Dentist level internet meme, but with way WAY more potential for crazy people causing trouble for the kid and his family.

  7. I saw this yesterday, and my initial reaction was if the person who pokes his head into frame to laugh was husband #1, husband #2 was a lucky dude.

    (what, every time there’s a video of a chick on here someone has to be shallow, equal opportunity)

    1. I saw this yesterday, and my initial reaction was if the person who pokes his head into frame to laugh was husband #1, husband #2 was a lucky dude.

      (what, every time there’s a video of a chick on here someone has to be shallow, equal opportunity)

      It’s alright, we don’t mind.

  8. “I’m going to play PING PONG now,” the boy says. Somehow this made the video even awesomer.

  9. …They obviously left out the most important segment:

    Calen: “Okay, I get it. You love each other and you’re married. Can you tell me where babies come from?

    Husband #1 “Go ask your father!”

    Calen: “Which one?”

  10. “You can play if you want to…” What a superb ending. Here’s hoping everyone can reach a similar conclusion sooner rather than later.

  11. My favorite was the “You can play too.”

    kids get it instinctively why are people trying so hard not to get it.

  12. I wouldn’t be surprised if the video went private not for ‘fame’ issues, but for an influx in hate comments. Because that’s what happens on YouTube.

  13. jonathan_v; I agree. Wouldn’t surprise me at all.

    Chatzi; thank you for finding this. It would be a shame to have it disappear

  14. Let this be a lesson. Always back up all files posted here on a secure server under your control. Duplicate everything, like the government. Or Lime Cat will not be pleased with your boingboingyness

  15. This is such a beautiful example of what we are like as children–curious, accepting, non-judgmental. At what point exactly do we lose that and become angry, threatening haters?

    1. At what point exactly do we lose that and become angry, threatening haters?

      The first time that we see a clown in person. It’s PTSDownhill from there.

  16. Olive: Why were you unhappy?
    Frank: I fell in love with someone who didn’t love me back.
    Olive: Who?
    Frank: One of my grad students. I was very much in love with him.
    Olive: *Him*? You fell in love with a boy?
    Frank: Very much so.
    Olive: That’s silly.
    Frank: You’re right it was silly. It was very silly
    Grandpa: There’s another word for it.

  17. Re: the setting

    Original YouTube video had the note that the video was taken at family Thanksgiving, and conversation started when the kid asked for help washing his hands.

    @TheWillow, hahaha me too! truly hot

    and yes, the “Hey, you wanna play too?” was BEEEYOUteeful.

    we should put it on a t-shirt and sell it no on H8 defense fund.

  19. This made me cry when I saw it on Towleroad yesterday. Just further proof that hatred, fear and discrimination have to be (to quote Rogers and Hammerstein) “carefully taught.” Yes, that was a very gay musical theatre quote, but one that is so very true. Bravo to this child’s parents for letting him be smart enough to figure it out for himself. “So, you love each other.” Yes, Caden, we do. And that’s a good thing.

  20. It is sad that a child is able to sort it out in a few minutes however government in some places have not figured it out. Such a simple concept, but apparently hard to grasp.

  21. The face-palming and awkward changing of the subject to play time was the operative portion of that video.

    1. Not sure why you thought it was awkward. I thought it was awesomely natural, as in “OK, that is vaguely interesting, but i’m a kid, and i want ping pong.”

  22. I think its brilliant how quickly he processes the information and then immediately asks his new gay friends to play ping pong.

    If only it were this easy with adults. You love each other and got married. Lets play ping pong.

  23. All the kids I’ve known have had zero problem with lesbian and gay people. Love is love, and kids understand love far better than most adults.

  24. Seeing this video brought tears to my eyes as a gay man….fascinating how children can comprehend the most profound adult concepts. Truly an amazing video!

  25. Some of our close family friends are same sex couples, so when my daughter started to wonder about it, I explained that there are lots of different kinds of families. She was about 3 at the time, so to keep it on a level she could relate to, I said that some families have a mommy and a daddy like ours, some have two mommies or two daddies, some have just a mommy or just a daddy, etc. She thought about it for a minute, and then declared that she would like to have two mommies. Like ELBSeattle said, kids understand love.

  26. kids are easy targets. it’s not until you reach a sexual age (mostly early teens), that you start having opinions about this stuff. for kids, male/female are fairly arbitrary definitions created by adults.

  27. The child is able to simultaneously deal with and find humor with the concept of homosexual marriage.

    To be honest, he is like most people I know.

    I think that more and more people are getting comfortable with homosexual relationships being out in the open.

    Some people are too prudish about the idea of what marriage is. There are a lot of people who are repressed sexually either by nurture or by nature. Maybe they have body shame issues. Perhaps they are shy about their bodies. In some cases they are afraid of admitting to sexual interests out of fear of offending their partners, families or neighbors.

    The problem is that society has problems dealing with deviations among heterosexual individuals. Until we can move beyond heterosexual shame, we have people willing to deal with homosexuality.

    Look at how much people hate celebrities who break up with other celebrities.

    We, apparently, need Tiger Woods to provide us with public apologies when his sexual antics have nothing to do the lives of anyone but his wife, kids and mistresses.

    There is a movie coming out in America called “She’s Out of Your League” about society’s perception that slender gawky guy is unworthy of an attractive blond woman.

    On the surface, gay marriage is a simple issue. But, like in Dan Ariely’s “Predicting Irrationality,” people are readily willing to choose things against their better interests and ethics. We have at least a decade before we see a change in the public’s perception of homosexuality.

    This kid will be an teenager or adult by then.

  28. He’s a cool kid, a little confused but principally tolerant ^^

    But it’s a shame he remarks at a same-sex couple. In my ideal world, he wouldn’t find them exceptional.

  29. Now that I know that exposing children to the concept of gay marriage leads to playing ping pong, I am against it.

  30. So a few years ago, I’m in Walmart with my two kids, and my son was maybe 7 or 8 at the time. There’s 2 guys in front of us who were giving off the body language of a couple. (Oh, and they were both acting what most would call “flaming gay”, but that’s besides the point for the moment). They finish their transaction, and I’m paying attention to the cashier and don’t see them leave.

    We get out to the car, and my son says “Dad, I think those two guys were gay” in the same sort of “I’ve never seen *that* before” voice the kid in the video has. So I start into the standard “Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t, but it really doesn’t matter and you shouldn’t be judging them on their orientation, especially when you don’t know what it is because you’ve only seen they’re acting for 15 seconds in a walmart” speech, and my son interrupts me with “Yeah yeah, I know that Dad. You’re no Mr Macho yourself, but those two were holding hands on the way out of the store”.

    He’s in his teens now, and pretty vocal in his support for gay rights – in his words “It sucks that I’ve got gay friends who can’t fully come out because it would screw up their lives”. So I guess I raised him right. :)

  31. What’s nice about a kid that age is his innocence. He believes that Husband and Husband means the same as Husband and Wife. They’re married and that means they love each other. That’s it. That’s as far as it goes for him. In ten years he’ll know about the birds and the bees and probably what Husband and Husband do together. And he’ll process that the way he processes that. They way we all processed the idea of our parents having sex. The idea that he understands and accepts gay marriage – without knowing all its attendant ramifications – at this age? No. He just knows that married people love each other. That alone is sweet enough.

  32. Why was the video removed? So many people found it enlightening, inspiring and entertaining! I hope you didn’t feel compelled to remove it due to any negative reactions…

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