Ghost Stories: London stage show scared the hell out of me

Last night, a gang of us went to see Andy Nyman's Ghost Stories, a horror stage-show on at the Hammersmith Lyric theatre in London. I know Andy through his work as a writer/director for Derren Brown's excellent shows, and the times I've met him, he's struck me as a sweet, laid-back guy, so even though I'd heard Ghost Stories was properly scary, I went in feeling pretty easy about the evening.

That lasted until about the third second of the show. I don't want to give away any spoilers by telling you too much about the plot, but I can tell you this: Andy plays a parapsychologist giving a lecture to an audience about the absurdity of believing in ghost stories. His character is also sweet, though not very laid back, and the stories he recounts are, in fact, scary as fuck. Especially when combined with the most menacing sound-design I've ever had vibrate through my colon, and some extremely clever staging, and really excellent acting from the small cast.

There were about eight of us last night -- including a couple of magicians, some game designers, and various kind of media creators -- and every one of us came out of there visibly shaken. When we got home, my wife made me get out of bed to make sure the doors were all locked (and I turned on the lights before I did).

The show runs until April 17, and there's even a midnight show on Friday. I don't get out very often -- the exigencies of having a toddler at home -- and every time I do, I ask myself whether this is going to be worth the expense in babysitters and missed sleep (the kid gets up at 5AM every day). This one was absolutely worth it.

Ghost Stories

• [Pantograph]

  Can I be in your gang Cory? It sounds more fun than joining the Yardies.

• [Anonymous]

  Jeremy Dyson? from League of Gentlemen?

• [Anonymous]

  Not knowing what it was about, i was not expecting to have the scariest play hit me smack in the face, on several occasions my wife almost ripped my arm off she was gripping so tightly and i physically left my seat on more than one occasion. We saw it the the Duke of yorks theatre and took the bench seats top middle and altough thats all that was left i consider them to be perfect for this show……..A middle of thenight nightmare scream from my wife shows how scary it was.

• [NathanielTapley]

  I feel your early-morning child-pain. Ours have taken to waking each other up just after five.

  This wouldn’t be so bad except I do a lot of late gigs, including (appropriately enough) this weekend, when we’ll be performing sections of the In The Gloaming podcasts at the World Horror Convention in Brighton.

  Children should come with a snooze button.

  (Incidentally, if anyone wants to hear the free horror-comedy plays, in the vein of Hammer House of Horror, Tales from the Unexpected, and Inner Sanctum – with more vulva jokes – they’re all available at http://inthegloamingpodcasts.wordpress.com /plug)

• [Grey Devil]

  This sounds quite brilliant and hope this makes it stateside (hopefully west coast) some day. I would be thrilled and scared to check it out.

• [Dewi Morgan]

  You shoulda gone and borrowed your kit’s blanket.

  Kid-blankets are proof against ghosts. Everyone knows that.

• [paour]

  The kid gets up at 5AM every day! Say it ain’t so Cory: based on your favorable review a few years back, I bought and applied the “12h sleep by 12 weeks” book, and it worked.

  Thus far.

  How long did it take for Poesy to shorten her nights?

  • [Cory Doctorow]

    Well, she sleeps for ten hours every night, which I think is about par for the course for a 2-year-old. I’m usually a 5AM riser too, but on nights where we see a show and get home at 11PM, it’d be nice to cop a couple hours.

• [Signal30]

  Well, the trailer hijacks completely from the Spanish trailer for [REC]… although a couple other films have done that since. Still, definitely interested in finding out more about this one.

• [Anonymous]

  Last week, I went to see all three ghost related plays in London – “Ghost Stories”, “Ghosts” (Ibsen), and “Warnings” a crazy art installation under a crypt in Euston, based on MR James’ stories. “Ghost Stories” was far and away the best thing I’ve seen for ages. Thoroughly absorbing, totally fun, and very scary! The Ibsen was tired and poorly acted by comparison. “Warnings” was full of strange people walking through the crypt with gas masks, which was not as much fun as it sounds.

• [Jardine]

  When we got home, my wife made me get out of bed to make sure the doors were all locked (and I turned on the lights before I did).

  You fool! Ghosts don’t care about locks! Now you’re doomed! Doooooooooooooooooomed. Oh wait, you turned on the lights? Whew. Ghosts can’t stand that.

• [PaulR]

  Cory, this is exactly when you must take a Zen opportunity:

  Knowing that this is just the after-effect of the stage-show, and having been in-the-moment all the time, turn to your wife and say, “no, I know that all the locks are set because I set them myself and I remember setting them.” Make a mental note to look up ‘unchecked mental processes’ at some time in the future.

  When you smash your foot on something by accident, yeah, it hurts. But the pain is in your brain, not in your foot. Just utter a “Frak!”, tell yourself to pay attention next time, and reminding yourself that there’s no bleeding, no broken bones, walk normally, stop thinking about it and the pain will go away. Just as quickly as when you whack your hand by accident – and your hand has even more nerve endings that your foot.

  Same thing for fears.

  • [Day Vexx]

    Or use it as an opportunity to scare the bejeezus out of her– turn to your wife and say, “no, I left one door unlocked. The eyeless little girl in a white nightrobe said she wanted to come in and see how close she could get to your feet before you noticed.”

    • [PaulR]

      Alternately, you could say “Okay”, get up then very quietly leave the apartment. Go have a beer or three and really freak her out…

• [Anonymous]

  “Glad you enjoyed the show. I understand your predicament about finding time to do things for yourself with kids at home–I’ve pretty much found that the best of both worlds is to try and find something the kids and I can both like. It’s not that easy but there are a few TV shows that have passed the test, most recently I discovered the new Guy Fieri game show, Minute to Win it on NBC, it’s on Sundays and so far seems to be a winner with everyone in the house”

• [Anonymous]

  Sounds like a show I’d *LOVE* to see if it was anywhere near me.

  :(