Deepwater Horizon survivors: "Are you fckng happy? The rig's on fire! I told you this was gonna happen!"


24 Responses to “Deepwater Horizon survivors: "Are you fckng happy? The rig's on fire! I told you this was gonna happen!"”

  1. Napkins says:

    Nuke The Well!!!

  2. aguane says:

    Somewhat off topic, but I’m curious as to why you would censor the word fucking in the title but not in the document?

    • Xeni Jardin says:

      Some of the larger entities like Google and Yahoo that syndicate or move new audiences to our blog posts choke on headlines that contain cussin’. We could say, fuck it you fucking fuckers, and include all the fucking swear words in the fucking headlines that we fucking want, but I prefer to say, fuck that.

      • aguane says:

        ah that makes sense. :) Thanks for assuaging my curiosity.

      • Ultan says:

        Cursing – a dying art.
        That’s not fucking cursing, this is fucking cursing:
        (at nameless, *-less BP executive:)
        “By hammer-heads and hatchet-heads and the howling harlots of HELL, you are lower than a snakes **** SIR[1], a scum-sucking PUS-BAG, an anal CARBUNCLE, a loathsome hairy-knuckled spawn of a naked-mole-rat’s syphilis-infected unsanitary nappery, a whoreson git with a rotting cabbage maggot-odor, by god, sir, if Lovecraft had an elder-god who looked like you, he’d shave it’s ass and make it walk backwards, you koufala[2]-mouthed camel-raping tube-worm.

        [1]With credit to Robert Anton Wilson and apologies to George Washington. Or vice-versa.

        [2]A useful Demotic Greek word meaning “gaping ****”

  3. Rodolfo Rosini says:

    Since the defendant happens to be a well funded organization it’s hard to restrain skepticism at the real motives behind this lawsuit. Nuke the lawyers.

    • Brainspore says:

      Hear, hear! All those frivolous claims by lazy good-for-nothing victims of horrific ecosystem-destroying disasters are destroying this country! (Well, the parts that the oil spill didn’t destroy, anyway.) How DARE they seek legal representation just because their entire lives have been irrevocably changed for generations to come! Damn lawyers.

    • grimc says:

      Indeed. Innocent until proven poor, and in the US if you’re poor you’re guilty until proven innocent. Exxxxcellent.

      • Felton says:

        and in the US if you’re poor you’re guilty until proven innocent

        That explains my guilt complex. ;-)

  4. zootboing says:

    I don’t just want billions in reparations for the people whose world and livelihoods were ruined (although I want that too) I want ARRESTS.
    Everyone who signed off on the safety and repair reports that knew the information was false need HARD PRISON TIME to give teeth to the idea that if you sign a legal safety document, it’s YOUR a** that’s going to prison. What’s a slap in the wrist and a corporate fine to a guy who’s pressured to sign off on a false report? The worst he’ll get is fired (and in his mind that’s more likely to happen immediately due to his corrupt superiors firing him if he DOESN’T sign the report when it’s in front of him the first time).

    • benher says:

      I want arrests too… followed by trials, convictions, and then public executions. And then oil soaked birds flinging oil soaked stones at the oil soaked bodies.

      I wonder how many BP employees it takes to stuff a bleeding oil well?

  5. Johnny Cat says:

    Thanks for your continuing coverage. I’ve grown increasingly bored by the rest of the Internet seeing how much funny they can glean from this catastrophe.

  6. pecoto says:

    Sorry to burst any bubbles, but a statement from an anonymous guy, who says he overheard one side of a phone call from another guy, talking to a third guy (who could have been anyone), keeping in mind that the guy he supposedly heard talking on the phone was under extreme stress in an emergency situation, is hardly a smoking gun. If we are going to see charges that stick, and brought against those who are provably responsible for this disaster, then physical evidence (and probably a whole train of whistle blowers) is going to be necessary. I just hope there are enough people who choose what is right over a paycheck both at BP and the regulatory agencies that we eventually have a better idea what happened….not only so we can prosecute those who are directly, personally responsible, but more importantly, so we can prevent future accidents like this.

    • Brainspore says:

      “Name withheld from the press” is not the same as “anonymous.”

    • dculberson says:

      Even the excerpt above includes the information that there is “a three-page signed statement.” It’s by definition difficult to have an “anonymous” statement be a signed statement. The linked article also says that the statement was corroborated by another eye witness and that Douglas Brown, the chief mechanic on the Deepwater Horizon testified under oath that there was a disagreement between Buzbee and BP’s managers. Transocean’s chief electronics technician also stated there was a disagreement, but different on who the disagreement was with.

      At this point, I think it’s clear that Buzbee was not happy with how BP wanted the rig to be run, that he allowed the substandard work to continue despite serious misgivings, and that BP was aware of the misgivings but made the work continue despite them. Buzbee testified that he did not have an argument with BP, but he’s probably covering his ass at this point.

      I’m sure physical evidence will be found. The only hope is that it’s sooner rather than later and that the evidence is put to good use to prevent this sort of thing from recurring.

    • Ichabod says:

      Relax and have a nice cup of STFU.

  7. Anonymous says:

    This whole thing will end up being a badly written James Bond movie. So who’s going play Bond Girl?

  8. franko says:

    the rig, the rig, the rig is on fire!

  9. Anonymous says:

    At least BP are actually taking the rap for this..

    All the people who are calling for BP’s board to go straight to jail for ever, for consistency’s sake would you please write to your congresspersons to push for the extradition of Warren Anderson to India? As former head of Union Carbide he has 15000 dead people at Bhopal that he has never had to answer for.

    • grimc says:

      Not a single BP employee (or, to be precise, member of management) has taken the rap for anything. That’s got to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard a BP apologist say.

      But with the gusher expected to continue into the fall, I guess you could still be outdone. Fingers crossed!

  10. SeattleGuy says:

    Why does everyone continue to call this unmitigated disaster a ‘spill’? That lends itself to images of tea spilling from a cup.

    The Exxon Valdez was a spill, Deepwater Horizon is a fucking gusher.

  11. kpkpkp says:

    Here’s a PR piece from a year ago:

    “Jimmy Harrell, OIM on the Deepwater Horizon, accepts their MMS District SAFE Award from John Keeton, Performance Rig Manager”

    Feel free to add a comment:

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