Department of Defense Taking It Seriously

takingitseriously.jpg Very seriously indeed. Amazingly, the U.S. Department of Defense, with only 9k twitter followers, has only a fraction of Wikileaks' veritable horde of retweeters. Internet fail! On the other hand, its logo is much better-drawn. Previously.


  1. So, are they worried about losing troops?

    Or their military industry cronies losing their cash cow?

    It’s Pentagon Papers time, folks!

  2. Manbearpig leaves no one alive, I’m super cereal! And nobody’ll listen to me. I’m cereal!

  3. I take being lied to about the fact that the Taliban has heat-seeking, shoulder-fired, surface-to-air missles and all the other lies interfering with what an informed democratic populace needs to know to exercise informed civilian control of the military seriously.

  4. While we are all downplaying the intelligence aspects of this…

    …it gives the Taliban a primary source of the most important information, for them. What does our military know and not know about their operations? Ordinarily, we keep lots of intel secret, so the enemies never actually know which of their movements were missed, and which were quietly observed with no response.

    Telling the Taliban what’s working allows them to fine-tune and simplify their behaviors.

    1. It’s the keeping everything secret from -me- part that’s troublesome. Because I’m helping to pay for this thing and if it’s a boondoggle I think I have a fucking right to know.

      It’s amazing to me how much people in this country go on and ON about the corruption of big government and fretting over every little cent spent….UNLESS the spending is going to fund a war whose true progress we’re not allowed to see and one in which the planners never actually plan for victory. Big. Fat. Money hole, and nobody gives two giggling shits how much of our future prosperity we pour into it.

      1. Welcome to the wonderful world of the “Sunken Cost Fallacy”.

        We have lost a lot of troops trying to take Hill 539. And we don’t need it to win the war. But tonight, we’re going to take that hill! So those troops won’t have died in vain!

      2. On the contrary, certain people care very much how much of our future prosperity we pour into it. The more of our future prosperity is poured into it, the more current prosperity they enjoy.

    2. They don’t need anyone to tell them what works. They already know. They’ve been doing it for almost a decade. Actually, they’ve been doing it for thousands of years, to every army foolish enough to try to occupy their country.

  5. For some reason announcing something is “serious” using Twitter doesn’t seem to fit.

    On the other hand, the twitter handle D-FENS is still available.

  6. Srsly you guys, I, like, told Shauna I might have been maybe like accidentally paying the Taliban to keep the war going and, like, she totally wigged out and she was like, I’m totally gonna tell Julian. And I’m like, you bitch! And she was like what are you gonna do about it? And I’m like I’m gonna tell, like all 9 thousand of my twitter friends what a total bitch you are and about how serious I am and she was like, whatever. Can you believe that? I hate her! God!

    Everybody retweet this and say what a total dick Julian is, I hate him, he sux cox. It’s not like this was like new 411 or anything. Everybody knew and they’re all like OMG Dod takes all the money and gives it to Issi and she gives it to the Taliban! I’m so shocked! Like you didn’t know, everybody knows that, it’s old news anyway, I totally changed everything like in December or something. This is bullsh*t!

    God, these leaks make me look fat. I need a xanax.

  7. Someone already pointed it out. A few people actually. Everyone in power knows we aren’t going to win this. They don’t care. That’s not the reason it’s still going on. It’s going on to employ people. And make others REALLY rich.

    I honestly wish the money that was spent in Iraq and Afghanistan was instead spent on the United States. How much nicer could the United States have been, if we did that? Why can’t we worry about ourselves? Just a little? Instead, we have to putz about, doing exactly what the Russians failed to do, and every other idiot nation that ever tried.

    Oh, well. Like I said. We weren’t meant to win. Just spend money.

  8. Just remember — “we take these things seriously” can easily be replaced “you caught us with our thumbs up our asses” without a change in meaning.

  9. Pity that murder, torture, corruption and incompetence don’t seem to also be among the things that the DOD takes very seriously.

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