Steampunk ray-gun sex-toys

Lady Clankington's Cabinet of Carnal Curiosities sells steampunk raygun vibrators for sexy steampunk bedroom fun. You can play stern neo-Victorian explorer and naughty morlock, or any variation that tickles your fancy.

Lady Clankington's Cabinet of Carnal Curiosities! (via JWZ)

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  1. Adding sex to something is as lame as adding chocolate to something, it doesn’t make it cooler and don’t kid yourself it is not “inspired” and you have not come up with a brilliant idea.

    Go do something useful, we’re busy here actually thinking up cool things.

      1. A chocolate sex toy?

        Oh my god, I’ve done it again, I’m a genius, how do I keep coming up with these things:-)

        1. Actually no, its a bad idea to stick sugary treats down there, can you say yeast infection?
          For what its worth the concept is cool, but I can’t shack the feeling that the pistol grip is something you can buy from a bargain basement.

  2. coincidentally, the buyers of this thing are likely to be among the least sexy people on the planet.
    they’ll have any novelty factor as long as it detracts from the sad fact that they’ve got pretty much nil erotic charisma themselves.

    1. Dude, don’t underestimate the potential usefulness of this – this could be the catalyst for some awesome low-budget steampunk porn.

      Of course, we’d have to work out what steampunk porn music would be like. I’m thinking of a steam-powered player piano.

    2. Actually, I can think of a couple of steampunk cosplayers I know who would REALLY get into the spirit of something like this. (And they have VERY significant amounts of erotic charisma, thankyouverymuch. People who put as much effort into “playing” as these folks often do.)

      Now, I’m not saying that they- or I- would actually go out and buy one of these. Anyone who can make/accessorize their own corsets, goggles, waistcoats and such would most probably want to make/customize their own “erotomizer”. Still, this is a good idea source- once seen, it could be embellished upon and personalized fairly easily.

      “Set phasers on stun”, indeed.

    3. We can’t all be as gorgeous as you, sweetheart. Kiss kiss.

      Seriously, there is no “standard” for sexiness. I find Megan Fox as dull as dishwater, but would spend a weekend with Helen Mirren, who is a few decades my senior, at the drop of a hat.

      As far as the sex toys, where’s my steam powered love doll? :)

  3. Just to add a bit of sexism and chauvinism, Lady Clankington herself (or the model hired to portray her) is quite stunning.

    Ray gun… stunning… See what I did there?

  4. I loved the Testimonials! and Lady C is really hot! Being an actual adult I admit I bought one. I just imagine being at an event and someone showing off their modified nerf gun…”well here’s mine..”
    I happen to know the handle is custom made and that some very charismatic people have already bought them. I’m sorry the idea of something being sex related scares some of you.. it must have been really rough having all the pretty girls reject you all those years, but I’m sure with some therapy you will recover.

  5. Yeah, not like something “sex related scares” me, but I am a little disturbed by the idea of sticking a GUN into someone’s vagina.
    My primary association there is Congo, not Steampunk.

    I mean, I get that it’s not meant to be fun and all, I just can’t shake that association.

  6. I’m relieved to see Dr. Visbaun’s head cropped out of the pictures. A man’s got his dignity and a real job to protect, right? As for Lady Clankington, can we get a bit more cleavage sweetie?

  7. Oddly enough, this is more steampunk than most things.

    It is functional, and decorative. There are (arguably) no arbitrary parts, no random gears or tubes, nothing out of place (assuming you prefer a handle on your toy).

    Which I think speaks volumes about how steampunk has deviated into a stupid fashion trend compared to the original philosophy of functional technology given the aesthetic overhaul (and yet retaining all functionality!) of the Victorian age.

    ~D. Walker

    1. “Which I think speaks volumes about how Steampunk has deviated into a stupid fashion trend compared to the original philosophy of functional technology given the aesthetic overhaul (and yet retaining all functionality!) of the Victorian age.”

      Oh, and where was the original philosophy defined and who made it the be all and end all of Steampunk?

      If you actually look at the Steampunk community (authors, fashion geeks, makers, etc.), you’ll see that there has never been much of a consensus on what is or is not Steampunk.

  8. As an ex-employee of a certain high street sex toy retailer I feel I should point out these are dildos, vibrators vibrate, dildos don’t! :-P

    Also I too think Lady Clankington is somewhat stunning…

    1. It isn’t a weapon if it doesn’t hurt people. I think you’re confusing something that APPEARS to be a weapon for an actual weapon. Maybe a bad case of literalism?

  9. Gosh, there are a lot of appropriately faux-Victorian attitudes on display to accompany this post.

  10. At least Cory’s being more up-front that this whole steampunk thing is really just about sharing his sexual fetishes with the rest of us.

  11. The fact that the pictured item is officially called the “Butt Rogers Uranium Pistol” delights the 10-year-old in me to no end!

    Seriously, whence all the hate? What’s not to dig about La Clankington?

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