How To: Brew beer in a coffee maker, using only materials found on a modestly sized oceanographic research vessel

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24 Responses to “How To: Brew beer in a coffee maker, using only materials found on a modestly sized oceanographic research vessel”

  1. SKR says:

    The ship is way cooler than the beer recipe.

  2. pyster says:

    I am not sure why he didnt consider adding actual coffee to the beer.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Great. Now I have to decide which of my many autoclaves to use.

  4. Anonymous says:

    It sounds like prison hooch. And I’ve worked on oceangraphic vessels myself, where the heck do you find the time (not to mention who lets you drink alcohol on a vessel) to screw around with brewing beer?

  5. rebdav says:

    I used to make ice jacked kilju in college, yeast, sugar and clean water in a clean 2l bottle. It wasn’t exciting but it was alcohol, better than wine in a box.

  6. SamSam says:

    This seems like quite a good way of making prison beer. Possibly almost drinkable if you’ve been at sea for months. I would drink it.

    That ship is awesome. Here’s and article describing it.

  7. MrJM says:

    And even if this experiment fails completely, you can comfort yourself with the fact that you didn’t accidentally make Coors Light.

  8. benher says:

    “It may be very bad, it may be good. It will be beer.”

    The most beautiful prose ever conceived. Isn’t this in the bible somewhere?

  9. discontinuuity says:

    I’ve used Grape Nuts in my homebrew when I’ve run low on malt, since I believe malted barley is the first ingredient. I think I’ll pass on the Vegemite and seaweed though.

  10. imorgan73 says:

    Vegemite is a yeast extract, so not sure how that ends up as ‘malt’. Love the process – would be interesting to try with actual malted barley, hops, and a decent brewing yeast. These three ingredients could be purchased at your local homebrew shop before the voyage and stored for the duration. They wouldn’t take up more room than seaweed flakes, vegemite, and breakfast cereal, but would make a much much much better tasting brew.

  11. nixiebunny says:

    What kind of low-class oceanographic research vessel is this that doesn’t have the proper rations of two pints of rum a day per man?

  12. Anonymous says:

    Because I drink a lot of beer, I use a clothes washer for this, a “washing machine”.

    Make sure the incoming Wash water is hot, proper mash-in temperature for your grains. The Rinse water should probably also be set to Hot for sparging as Warm probably won’t dissolve the sugars. The agitation ensures a complete mash. The spin-dry cycle is where you pull off your wort.

    You’ll need a large vessle to boil the wort. I’m working on converting the heating system from the gas clothes drier to use rather like a cajun cooker.

  13. Anonymous says:

    I’d try it with decent ingredients. Baker’s yeast? Vegemite? Blech. Also, bleach water will do the trick for sterilization.

  14. Rich Keller says:

    Substitute Fruity Pebbles for the grains and you can have yourself some lambic.

    • Anonymous says:

      @Rich:
      Obligatory lambic purist rage. DAMN YOU LINDEMANNNNNNNNNNNN, DAMN YOU TO HELLLLLLL!!!!

      • Rich Keller says:

        LOL!

        Now I remember that I have a bottle of kriek at home. I’d open it, but I think I’m out of Melitta filters.

        Quick question about the instructions: it says cool to 60 or 70 degrees F, but then says to pitch the yeast when the jars are cool enough to touch without burning. Should that be 60 to 70 C?

        • thebelgianpanda says:

          no, most yeasts you wouldn’t mind drinking really, really hate temps over 110F, and prefer 62F-74F. Lager, bottom fermenting yeasts like it even cooler.

    • Anonymous says:

      Rich, if you don’t get a response from anyone else, just wanted you to know I thought that was funny.

  15. thebelgianpanda says:

    as a long time home brewer, all i have to ask is where do you find the kegging equipment on an oceanographic research vessel–cause i ain’t bottling ever again.

  16. squidfood says:

    nixiebunny: As someone who’s been on a variety of these ships, it’s very cultural. When looking at government-funded research vessels:

    -The American ships are dry (and very, very hard-assed about it).

    -On the Japanese ships, you pour sake over whatever came up in the net that day, and eat it.

    -On the Canadian ships, the duty-free bar opens as soon as you get into international waters.

    -My liver forbids me from speaking of the Russians.

  17. sdmikev says:

    As a long time very picky home brewer, I can only say.. OMG, that sounds horrible. :)

  18. pyster says:

    And I, as a long time home brewer, can only say Awesome Hack.

    The method is sound.

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