A Special Necklace For Your Special Lady

Girl with a Pearl Necklace.jpeg

Some say that a piece of jewelry can say "I love you." This says something kind of like that. Massachusetts-based multitalented artist Leah Piepgras has created a pearl necklace that is made of sterling silver and contains no pearls.

"A visual marker of chaos turned perfection through an act of beauty and lust."

Each one is handmade and is available in two sculpted variations. They aren't cheap but you don't expect to say "I love you" with a gift and spend only pocket change.

ProTip: When you hear me say "special lady" you should not be thinking about your mom. Only I can think about your mom when I say that.


    1. yes, it is supposed to look like that kind of “perl necklace”…not the classiest piece of jewelry ever made. look the silver surfer’s money shot. yuck!

  1. My Mom wouldn’t know what that necklace is supposed to mean. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY! I can’t hear you. LALALALALAALALA.

    Incidentally, a coworker in earshot is on the phone with IT trying to undock her laptop. And I quote, “Push it out? Pull it in? Oh! Push it out. No, pull it in?” and so on.

  2. You know, there’s never been a time where it seemed appropriate to ask before, but I guess if I can’t ask it now I don’t know when I will be able to again. Do women ever WANT this sort of “pearl” necklace, you know, for real? It always seemed vaguely an act of disrespect.

    1. I imagine it’s nearly always the fulfillment of the giver’s wish rather than the recipient’s, but I say “nearly” because the only time I ever gave one to anybody, it was at her request. Surprised the heck out of me. Among other things.

    2. Any human interaction can potentially be portrayed as an act of disrespect, but if you are repulsed by human fluids, just DON’T have sex!
      It will be easier in the long run.
      It is CRUEL to allow someone to make love to you, and then subject them your disgust and horror at the zenith of their coital pleasure.

      I am saying this as a male has often been so splattered in menstrual clots that i looked like crime scene.

      I also recall several times when a girl on top of me has accidentally gotten so carried away she launched a snot rocket at my chest as she came. (at least i think it was accidental).

      Leaving things are by nature oozy porous squirting sacks of organic gooo. Accept it and enjoy it!

      We are conceived, born, and die with burst of fluid, and if you can’t enjoy it during sex, you are missing the fun part of the ride.

    3. I will admit that I was more than a little bit surprised the first time I heard, “the next time you decide to finish like that, take the condom off first,” but the request does get made.

    4. when i saw this thing … the first thing i thought was … I WANT ONE … lol i think its such a cool concept … and id ont think its disrepectful at all … in fact as a female who is very confident and empowered by her own sexuality i would love for a man to buy this for me… as long as im the one who suggested it to him.

  3. Perhaps one should ask each particular, individual woman whether she in particular as an individual likes this sort of thing, instead of making sweeping generalisations about ‘Women’ as a monolithic bloc hive mind who consider this to be something all women like or dislike or consider oppressive.

    Christ on a cracker. I’m a person, not an identity.

    1. Awww, but they’re just trying to help make sure you are respected! Treating you as an individual just gets in the way.

  4. Men can wear pearl necklaces, too. This would make a nice graduation present for the next door neighbors’ boy.

  5. I asked my husband for a black pearl pendant for our anniversary so he could tell his friends he gave me a pearl necklace. Vulgar, but classy!

    1. Well, if that’s not an American Apparel ad in the making, I don’t know what is.

      Wins the thread.

  6. Do women ever WANT this sort of “pearl” necklace, you know, for real?

    Yes, some of them. Some men do, too. People like all sorts of different things.

    Which is awesome.

    1. Oh, I’d hold a woman who was open and un-squeamish about sex in pretty high esteem, but I suppose some people still go with the Madonna-whore dichotomy.

  7. In my male experience, many women have preferred a pearl necklace, pearl butt, pearl stomach, or pearl anywhere-that-doesn’t-leave-me-walking-around-and-dripping-your-man-juice.

    I demise that the cleanup is easier if it remains outside. Makes sense. As a trade off, it seems, gals are happy to offer up easily wipeable skin regions. (Which excludes their face.)

  8. I had to read the comments to figure out what it was supposed to be. I thought it was kind of pretty in a liquid-metal sort of way.

    1. Yeah I feel stupid. I was just like… neat that’s pretty in a sort of abstract way. I didn’t get that it was a one-liner.

      500 bucks for a punchline on a chain?

      Meh… tell you what. Pay *me* the 500 bucks and you can cum on my collarbone.

      (no not really)

  9. That necklace is weak. Mine would be more like a giant charm bracelet for my special lady’s neck. Just saying!

  10. “Each necklace is hand made — please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery.” Nothing says love like a sterling silver pearl necklace (w/out the pearls) “handmade” by a stranger.

  11. Why is it that, just about every time something gets posted on BB that portrays women as sexual beings, someone has to hit the comments with charges of misogyny, disrespect, and/or sexism? Is it really that hard to believe that there are plenty of women out there that have happy, lustful sex lives that involve all sorts of things that you’re not going to find in your average rom-com or sit-com?

    Women have sex. A vast majority of them (I hope) enjoy it a great deal. Some of them even like all sorts of things that other people may find distasteful. This is not misogyny, disrespect or sexism because, surprise surprise, they choose it and they *like* it.

    As for the necklace, I think it’s pretty cool. I’d get one for my ex, because she really likes a good pearl necklace, but I’m not about to drop $400+ on someone I’m no longer with.

  12. Just 2 splash patterns? This might get my attention if the artist could make customized pieces, based on a photo.

    Some of the commenters seem pathologically come-averse.

    This would be an awesome opportunity for a BoingBoing-regrEtsy cross-post.

    1. Yeah, but the downside is the time it takes to get locked and loaded.

      “Hey, would you mind giving me a sexy pout please? I’m trying to take out the bad guys…oh yeah, that’s what I like, baby.”

        1. Much easier, of course, if you happen to also be a furry.

          Or much harder, depending on how you look at it.

  13. To everybody grossed out by this necklace, may I remind you where actual pearls come from? I’m not exactly keen on the idea of wearing a string of lumps of mollusk secretions around my neck.

  14. Cause nothing says “I love you” like an amorphous blob (aka T-1000 ejaculate) of sterling silver on a chain. Or maybe it’s $420 that says it, I don’t know.

  15. Although porn does use the cum shot to deny female subjectivity (and pointing that out isn’t being prudish, quite the opposite), I think the necklace is more the sexual contempt equivalent of an “I’m with stupid” t-shirt. On the part of the wearer.

    It’s like the budget lovechild of Koons and Murakami.

  16. Customize it… Take a picture of the, uh, real thing, and make one out of solder. It will stay shiny for quite a while. There, just saved you $400.
    And of course, the blob has to be continuous, not individual splatters. This may beyond your skill level.

    1. Why make it continuous? If you could give it an almost invisible chain, the effect of the individual splatters would be outstanding.

  17. Hmm. New and unfamiliar sexual euphemism noted and filed.

    Given that it’s silver, not white, who’s actually going to get this, out in the real world? I mean, it’s not as if spunk pools have a particular shape that’s characteristic and recogniseable. It just looks like a melty shape, like any number of other abstract pieces of jewellery.

  18. the dude must have took care of himself earlier. he definitely wasn’t backed up or that lip would be pierced.

  19. Is it just me or is that…not a big enough piece…for that? I guess the amount must be different for everyone…

    On a similar note, I don’t see why doing it on someone’s chest would be considered more disrespectful than other places. Whatever people are comfortable with (as long as they are actually comfortable, not just doing it because he or she thinks the other person wants it) Even if some people do it disrespectfully, those people would be disrespecting the woman regardless of where they cum.

  20. How can you even say it’s disrespectful? ZZ Top sings about a girl wanting a pearl necklace. I take all my sex tips from 1970s/80s classic rock.

  21. “but you don’t expect to say “I love you” with a gift and spend only pocket change.” ROTFLMAO… clearly none of you have ever been married to a woman who likes chocolate. Bring the Mrs a little box of chocolates every so often, for no reason whatsoever, and the pearl necklace will take care of itself. LOL!

  22. The misogynistic angle is complicated, for me. On the one hand, a lot of women enjoy this sort of thing. On the other hand, do they honestly, truly enjoy it, or do they “enjoy” it because men/porn say they should? I’m sure it’s a mixture of both.
    That aside, I rather think this is in poor taste, and all the more ridiculous that it’s over $400. I get that it’s “handmade”, but it’s an amorphous silver blob, not particularly intricate or pleasing to look at. But tastes vary, I’m sure.

    1. “On the other hand, do they honestly, truly enjoy it, or do they “enjoy” it because men/porn say they should? I’m sure it’s a mixture of both.”

      Really? REALLY? You’re concerned about misogyny in sexual jewelry, but you’re sure that women couldn’t possibly be enjoying a sexual act of their own volition, but instead only because men and porn told them to? Can you hear yourself? Women are too weak-minded to know what they REALLY enjoy, they just do as they’re told?

      The male gaze does not define my sex life, my desires, or my actions. I do. And your assumption and certainty that those things are shaped by male preference is more disrespectful and misogynistic than anything else I’ve seen in this thread.

      1. Wow. That’s not what I meant at all. First of all, I am a woman, so I would not agree that “women are too weak-minded to know what they really enjoy”. My point was only that some women (and men!) sometimes feign enjoyment of something because they know (or think) that their partner is turned on by something. Porn sometimes sets up high expectations, and if someone is young or inexperienced, they might rely on it extensively when figuring out what they like at first, whether they are a man or a woman. Later, as they get older and more experienced, their own sexual preferences will of course more than likely become clearer, after they’ve tried a few things.
        Additionally, keep in mind that some people will do things in bed that they don’t particularly enjoy because turning their partner on turns them on, or because they lack the confidence to tell their partners their preferences explicitly. It does happen; obviously not to everyone, but nevertheless, it happens. To pretend that it doesn’t is to pretend that everyone is equally self-confident, which is obviously not the case.

      2. Also, I don’t think this is misogynistic (after all, I’m sure gay men receive pearl necklaces, yes?), just poor taste and a little ridiculous (like most post-modern art seems to be).

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