Preteen finds naughty message on candy heart

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30 Responses to “Preteen finds naughty message on candy heart”

  1. Lucifer says:

    It’s likely that the candy-making plant produces an adult-oriented line of candy hearts that they box and market for adult novelty stores. Some of those probably just got stuck someplace in the production line and when they switched the stamping dyes to produce the mainstream line, a few probably got un-stuck and made their way into the general consumer boxes.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Its nice to see that the father doesn’t plan to sue… So many people are ready to sue anyone at the drop of a hat.

  3. Rajio says:

    Doesn’t plan to sue?! The terrorists have won!

  4. Sork says:

    But tits are nice! I like the Blue tits.

  5. tylerkaraszewski says:

    Warning to other parents! Your child may see a message on a candy 1/100th as shocking as what they hear everyday at school! Be alert!

  6. Kozlow says:

    Pro tip: Keep adult-themed and regular production lines in separate buildings.

    • sapere_aude says:

      I doubt it’s economically feasible to have two separate production lines for adult-themed and regular candy hearts, much less to have them in two separate buildings. They’re most likely made on the same production line, but at different times.

    • peterbruells says:

      Nah.

      Just use a professional clearplatic binder.

      That’s a tip, kids, write it down.

  7. gravytop says:

    Seriously, maybe it’s nice I guess he doesn’t intend to sue, or maybe its just that he realizes it would be a loser case. It’s hard to imagine he has much of a cause of action.

  8. Lobster says:

    That’ll teach him to buy these horrible, awful “candies” for his daughter, be she a colpocoquette in the making or not.

  9. frankieboy says:

    Bush. Heh heh, heh heh.

  10. ManOutOfTime says:

    I’m much more concerned about what kind of parents name their kid “Ciara Bush.” SRSLY.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Kudos to the father.

    He doesn’t plan to sue; he was just informing the company and their customers that the product might not be as expected.

    That is the type of responsibility that the news seems devoid of these days.

  12. The Mudshark says:

    …, Deanda said he doesn’t have any plans to sue.

    An addendum that would be redundant in any other country in the world.

  13. vettekaas says:

    Those things should be illegal anyway. I think chalk would taste better!

  14. Anonymous says:

    I’ve wondered why I haven’t heard about people rebranding conversation hearts. Fine sandpaper to remove the corporate sentiment, a rubber stamp composed of small-enough letters, and edible ink. Does any of that sound even *difficult*?

    For “bonus points”: print hearts that say ‘Queueing’ on them, put them in small zip-top bags from the craft section, hand them out to cute nerds, and see what ensues.

  15. chawke says:

    I think it might also be possible to rub out the original and etch in a new message. Time consuming, but I just wanted to point out another possibility.

    My mind might be creating a false memory here, but didn’t this happen with some fortune cookies a while back?

  16. CLamb says:

    It was probably from the lot intended for bird fanciers.

  17. SamSam says:

    Shocking indeed! That sugar could rot that poor girl’s teeth!

  18. Anonymous says:

    Well this father is clearly some sort of socialist America hater. Why would he not sue ? He has the golden ticket and chooses not to cash in. He embiggens the hearts of liberals.

    • gravytop says:

      Uh… but it’s the fascist Rethuglicans who oppose frivolous lawsuits, and the commie democrats who have the backing of the trial lawyers..

  19. dlelash says:

    No plans to sue? What kind of American is he?

  20. Mitch_M says:

    Parents should never have to explain the phrase “nice tits” to a 12 year old.

    We thought the girls in the magazines my friends had stashed in their tree house when we were 8 had “nice tits”, though.

  21. EricT says:

    Indeed. She’s no doubt going to grow up with some bizarre sexual fetish, like having to cover herself in chalky candy to experience intimacy.

  22. Anonymous says:

    While it might be shocking for this young woman to discover that most adult men are preoccupied with mammalian protuberances, she is probably better prepared for her adult life having obtained that knowledge.

  23. GIFtheory says:

    Pedobear approves.

  24. Bulldog says:

    Most kids would burst out laughing at something like that. The girl’s father obviously has commonsense and isn’t making a big deal out of it. Most reasonable people wouldn’t either. To those who blow it out of all proportion – get a life and lighten up!

  25. Anonymous says:

    I actually gotta give the dad props for not being lawsuit-happy about this. A lot of parents in this country would have had dollar signs in their eyes immediately, even though no harm came of this.

    • AirPillo says:

      You don’t really need to applaud someone for not filing a baseless lawsuit, and you probably shouldn’t.

      You wouldn’t applaud me if you asked me what time it was and I decided not to punch you in the face.

      • Gilbert Wham says:

        I put it to you that it would depend how many times you’d already been asked what time it was. And given the preponderance of stupid lawsuits, well…

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