CONTEST! Design a mind-numbingly tedious magazine, win awesome prizes from Saddleback Leather


184 Responses to “CONTEST! Design a mind-numbingly tedious magazine, win awesome prizes from Saddleback Leather”

    • paladinmantis says:

      It looks so professional, I’d half expect that to be in a rack at the blood plasma clinic.

    • tim says:

      Ben, you missed an opportunity there
      “Just look at this *banana shaped* beauty in bUtte. Just look at it”

    • RumorsofmyDemise says:

      Well done, sir. You got an actual lol out of me.

  1. Antinous / Moderator says:

    I spent a couple of hours in the magazine section of Tower Records back in the mid 90s, and there were half a dozen magazines just devoted to Barbra Streisand trivia, not to mention another dozen on fingernail extension art and technology. It’s scary out there.

  2. Japanezer Scrooge says:

    My first entry; still working on “LiveJournal Celebrity Gossip Comment Thread Quarterly” and a couple others…

  3. elizms says:

    and YES small brown paper bags DO deter wasps and hornets!!!

  4. SchnauzerLogic says:

    my humble entry is “BEN – Your Weekly Guide To All Things Stein”

  5. intellax says:

    thrilling publication concerning hex color codes

    • Shlepzig says:

      I was browsing through some of the entries and saw yours, Clearly there is an unconscious consensus that the #6 is the most boring number between 0 and 9.

      Good luck to you.


  6. 3232design says:

    Exclusive interview with Milton Knubbler, author of the EULA! Plus, follow this one old rule for beefing up your word count.

  7. nosehat says:

    The example entry sets the bar pretty high! “Protect your PCI Audio Card from thieves” indeed! It’s so funny because it’s just plausible enough to be uncomfortable.

  8. fuzzicist says:

    here is the boing,eula,boringEULA review

  9. Astronaut Jones says:

    The true compendium for Turbo Encabulator enthusiasts …

  10. Chuck says:

    If only I had some graphic design skills. I’d weaponize The Monthly Journal of Issue Tracking Systems.

  11. paladinmantis says:

    Here’s my submission:

  12. KaiBeezy says:

    couldn’t resist one more
    lorem ipsum times

  13. mwchapel says:

    Nothing like the wild sport of watching grass grow. :)

  14. joanielspeak says:

    After making this, I kind of wanted to subscribe. I think I failed the boring part… or maybe I am just that boring myself?

  15. Anonymous says:

    Here’s an entry; I am recycling something I created as a joke a number of years ago. Hope the link works.

  16. Eaves says:

    Here’s my entry (sorry if this gets double posted, I decided to not be “Anonymous”:

  17. Anonymous says:

    Why is this only open to US entrants?

  18. Govern-4-Results says:

    My entry (thanks for the idea Bdig):

    • David Pescovitz says:

      OMG, these are so damn funny. Great idea for a contest, Rob, and amazing entries so far, folks. I love the BB crowd.

  19. KaiBeezy says:

    didn’t see the
    one entry per person
    don’t disqualify me bro!
    take one down?
    but why limit it?
    it’s too much fun
    raise limit to 2 or 3?
    i submit to your judgment

  20. MadSun says:

    Historical Postage Stamp Adhesives Monthly!
    (with back cover advertisement)

    • Stephen says:

      This is my favourite so far … plus bonus points for the “Back cover advertisement featuring inappropriate use of female model fawning over technology product” as suggested by kpkpkp.

      Hilarious and tedious at the same time!

  21. designmine says:

    Design competitions are for schmucks. They are an unethical way to get crappy designs. Good designers are hired to do real projects. Bad designers enter contests, doing work for no money. Boing Boing should know better than this.

    • royaltrux says:

      This isn’t for a logo or other revenue generating design, as far as I can tell it’s just for fun. But I generally do agree with what you said.

    • nixiebunny says:

      Good designers who like to have fun also enter contests. They tend to win.

    • standard says:

      Kudos to the kneejerk no-spec-work commenter who didn’t take the time to read the entire paragraph. Glad to know you’re a professional with an eye for detail.

    • revdru says:

      “Design Competition Critic” would make an excellent magazine.

    • paladinmantis says:

      52 Volumes! OMG! That definitely qualifies as skull-crushing

    • nanoquimico says:

      Having been to a paper physics conference I must say that there are at least a few cardboard technologists that would be interested in your magazine.

      This contest makes me think of whether is it possible to find something so boring that no person would be interested in it.

      Many actual magazines at the newsstands would in my mind belong to this contest, but the fact that there is a readership for them is quite amusing.

      A fun extension of this contest would be to pair the fakes with real boring magazines and quiz the readers to identify them.

      • Eric R says:

        That was the problem that I kept coming back to as well. And I have to say that I for one would really like to know what the Arctic Challenge entailed. Perhaps I’ll have to come up with something less interesting.

  22. kpkpkp says:

    Suggested Extra Credit: Back cover advertisement featuring inappropriate use of female model fawning over technology product.

  23. snarf says:

    Damn! I really wish this wasn’t just for people in the states… but then again the whole idea is funny enough that I might give it go anyways.

  24. rjek says:

    For inspiration, watch a couple of episodes of Have I Got News For You. They do a missing-word-from-the-headline, which they often have a “guest publication” to go along with the news papers that is bogglingly obscure or dull. “Fresh Produce Journal” “Laundry and Cleaning News International” “Hair Growers News” “Semen World” “Compressed Air International” “Doorknob Collector” etc.

  25. tenesmusD says:

    Re-posted after signing in… hurr!

  26. BookGuy says:

    You guys and gals are cracking me up. For me, the extra-funny is how close you’re getting to some actual current and former academic journals. Take it from someone who used to work in academic publishing and, for a brief time, actually copyedited a journal devoted to Eastern European research in cement and concrete. Seriously

  27. ElVagabond says:

    There are some great designs here…

    Here’s mine.

  28. pidg says:

    Hope I’m not duplicating anyone else’s!

    Mac vs PC Monthly

  29. Steven S says:

    Nervous first post…and first attempt at competition on the internets…yelp!

  30. Rob Beschizza says:

    Designmine, this isn’t a design contest where we trick people into designing logos or T-shirts or performing other spec-work for us with the prospect of prizes. The entries, which are mostly posted off of Boing Boing on personal sites anyway, will never be used by us except in this thread and maybe a winner announcement, for the transient amusement of your fellow readers. There is no suggestion of future professional reward here.

    In fact, I’d say this competition is probably very bad for your portfolio. I wouldn’t hire anyone who’d even dream of entering it, and considered firing myself for creating the example entry.

    • Stephen says:

      “I’d say this competition is probably very bad for your portfolio. I wouldn’t hire anyone who’d even dream of entering it, and considered firing myself for creating the example entry.”

      Bravo! Just as funny as the example entry.

  31. DeWynken says:

    I would totally buy an issue of PCI Audio Card Magazine.

  32. Anonymous says:

    “We watched paint dry, so you don’t have to!”

    The Paint Revue Magazine

  33. Anonymous says:

    de-anonymizing my earlier post….

  34. designmine says:

    well, i stand by my comments, but I’m sorry to have assumed Boing Boing was doing this. Design away.

  35. Fedule says:

    (start reading from the bottom)

    …in case anyone needed inspiration. Tragically, the list is incomplete (only up to 2006) and will probably disappear from Wikipedia due to it’s notability standards (bah), but the info there is good. Too bad they don’t also show the covers…

  36. Dave McCaig says:

    Shame you guys region-limit your contests for no apparent reason.

    I thought Boing Boing was supposed to be against restrictions of this sort?

  37. mneptok says:

    I have one of Saddleback’s wallets, and my wife has a case. Nod to BB for pointing us at them (on my birthday last year!).

    F-ing kick booTAY products. Pro designers (and I ain’t) are heartily urged to burn a few extra candles to win this schwag.

  38. Jack Daniel says:

    Hi Guys,

    I’ve been wanting one of these bags bad. Real pain in gut, go to the prom with me bad.
    Here goes nothing:

    Introducing TIRED Magazine:


  39. Anonymous says:

    I would probably read a magazine devoted to PCI audio cards if I saw one.

  40. andyhavens says:

    My two entries (one went up earlier, but the Google Docs link isn’t working for some friends, so here are both on Flickr)

    “Waiting Room Magazine:”

    and “Other People’s Dreams:”

  41. McLaren+Torchinsky says:

    I feel like this would be full-on, body-goes-limp-on-the-floor-kid-in-a-carpet-store boring.

    I bet they’d have tours that could put you in a coma.

  42. DeWynken says:

    They had me at ‘Semen World’. Equine Insemnators Quarterly would also be a pick.

  43. Rob Beschizza says:

    Entries are closed! Thank you, everyone. Winner to be announced shortly — keep an eye on the front door or this thread!

  44. capl says:

    I love the entries, so had to slop something together from the CAPL collection. And the definition of skull-crushing would be in German:

    PS: Great idea, Rob!

  45. Anonymous says:

    Que Quarterly, your guide to waiting in line like the pro’s.

  46. highway40 says:

    Notational Review

  47. Brian Damage says:

    Sorry to whoever designed PCI Audio Card magazine but you would lose this contest. I would subscribe to that in a heartbeat.

  48. says:

    for all your colored fluid evaporation observational needs:

  49. jjsaul says:

    Don’t underestimate the value of the prize – saddleback doesn’t make cheap nylon walmart bags. I’ve had one for a few years and the only way I could be more pleased is if it had been assembled from Rush Limbaugh’s cured pelt.

    • princessalex says:

      “the only way I could be more pleased is if it had been assembled from Rush Limbaugh’s cured pelt”

      That’s not an option? Dang. I had my hopes up.

  50. Anonymous says:

    @nanoquimico wins by recursion if his entry is “boing boing’s tedious magazine cover contest entries magazine”.

  51. Shlepzig says:

    My first draft was Frozen Peas Magazine
    The magazine logo came off pretty, and the headlines are somewhat clever. So I wanted to share.

    My actual entry was my second thought, Number 6 Monthly. Which I think is a stronger cover on the whole. The concept has a little more geek cred’ and the color palette was spot on (I just got lucky there).

  52. Anonymous says:

    I’m sorry, but it’s going to be really hard to beat reality on this one. See, for example Pallet Enterprise Magazine, your leading source for the latest developments on wooden pallets.

    • Anonymous says:

      from their header:

      “For 30 years the leading pallet and sawmill magazine in America.”

  53. Wendell says:

    This one is SO obvious, I’m shocked nobody beat me to it (or maybe they did and got deleted)

  54. thebelgianpanda says:

    i would actually subscribe to this newsletter, but my wife thinks i’m insane.

  55. zyodei says:

    My vote goes to either ‘Joint and Rafter’ enthusiast or ‘Thumb Drive Aficianado’; honorable mentions to Shoelace, Power Strip, and Magazine Aficianado. Great show everybody :)

  56. Stephen says:

    Tried entering these yesterday as Anon. Now have account (woo-hoo) and hope it works this time.

    I’m an Australian, so obviously can’t win. I’m also not a professional designer, so obviously won’t win. As I’m not bound by the rules, here are my three covers for a mind-numbingly boring magazine (all pictures are real – including the bike rider product – I mean, seriously?)…

  57. bocomo says:

    now that i’ve created an account, i’ll repost

    bye bye Anon for me

  58. Anonymous says:

    Rule 35: No matter how skull-crushingly boring the topic, there is already a magazine devoted to it.

  59. Anonymous says:

    Goodbye morning productivity!

    Here’s my entry:

  60. Anonymous says:


    Your guide to a ful-FILLING life as a petrol pump attendent:

  61. adamnvillani says:

    One time when I was in junior high I went with my dad to a car wash, and I remember seeing an issue of “Carwashing” magazine and thinking that sounded like the most boring thing ever. At the time I wasn’t aware of trade publications.

    Fast forward 20 years, and through Facebook I get back in touch with the girl I attended the 9th-grade junior high prom with, and it turns out that a few years earlier her husband had inherited a successful car wash and, sure enough, they subscribed to Carwashing magazine.

  62. t-mas says:

    Ok, try this again…

    Que Quarterly, your source for waiting in line like the pro’s.

    • jeligula says:

      Nice Tmas, but the word is queue. I submitted a work in ad design at the Art Institute of Seattle, and it was great work. Resembled a National Geographic cover and was advertising Rapidographs. The ship/sea/sky/cliffs illustration was stippled using a Rapidograph. I put the header in “National Rapidograpic”, having concentrated on comping the type perfectly, I misspelled my header. The instructor gave me an F on the grounds that if I did that with a client, I would lose a commission. I got the grade raised to what I deserved on the grounds that Rapidographic is not a word anyway, but the instructor was right.

      I would like to submit an entry, but am too busy making money. Been in the graphic design industry since 1988.

    • Anonymous says:

      Well done Sir!

  63. MS says:

    Wow. I don’t envy the job of the judges. Very good work out there…

  64. thebelgianpanda says:

    CC licensed according to flickr

  65. Anonymous says:

    Sometimes I read this in public just to see if anyone reacts.

  66. 337 says:

    man…picasa decided to leave and have a few beers when I went to upload the pict. Good thing Docs is more responsible. Anyways, I don’t think anyone did this one, thought it might be a bit obvious, but hey, who doesn’t love watching paint dry?

  67. Shlepzig says:

    I’m a clot and I’ve ruined my links. From the above, I stupidly renamed the album so I could clean things up a bit, and voila messed things up good.

    Frozen Peas:

    Number 6 Monthly


  68. Enormo says:

    Honey, I’m Home! Magazine

    Husbands’ Edition

    Wives’ Edition

    • Anonymous says:

      OMG–I laughed so hard my boss came in and asked me what was so funny. Then HE laughed out loud. F-ing brilliant.

  69. KaiBeezy says:

    audio cable aficionado!

  70. Mark Pitcavage says:

    All right, I’m resubmitting mine non-anonymously. Hope the link works. It’s actually something I created some years ago as an inside joke, so I am recycling it.

  71. jphilby says:

    Oh, oh, oh. I’d read that Audio Card Magazine from cover to cover.

    *sigh* Geek kids these days. Get off my platform!

  72. Anonymous says:

    “Pin-Out Monthly” – with, yes, a pull-out pin-up centerfold of a pin-out chart. Hmmmmm…. diagrammatic!

  73. Brainspore says:

    My mother was a civil engineer who often had copies of a trade mag called “Concrete Today” on the coffee table. I’m not sure you can even parody that kind of thing.

    • IronEdithKidd says:

      I was half-ass considering submitting the most recent issue of the Journal of Protective Coatings and Linings. The lead article is entitled “Inspection Plans for Bridge Work”.

      You really can’t make this shit up. Actual trade mags, FTW!

  74. hectorinwa says:

    Maybe too obvious, but: Drytime

    And then of course: Screw

    • 337 says:

      about 20 mins too obvious – ha! I came up with the same one. I like the stopwatches feature.

  75. elizms says:

    Not an entry but my Dad used to subscribe to this:

    exciting for the watchmaker :)

  76. yongi says:

    There is nothing more boring than this. Except maybe… nope. Nothing. :)

  77. monma says:

    My entry is near and dear to my heart

    just so I know, are we allowed to have more than one entry?

  78. Anonymous says:

    Get your copy of On/Off Knob Quarterly today!

  79. jphilby says:

    No image-maker, but inspired by an old title, I’ll forge ahead.

    The magic world of gaseous H2O

    Top 50 Yellowstone fumaroles!
    Spelunking locomotive boilers
    ROUNDUP: Steam Stamp Collectors
    Arctic or Antarctic? Astounding variety
    Using Fractals To Model Outgassing

  80. Anonymous says:

    Nothing beats watching Paint Dry! Here’s my entry!

  81. Anonymous says:

    Here you go.
    Compound Fulcrum Nail Clipper World.

  82. Anonymous says:

    Here’s my submission, “LOOK AT THIS” magazine:

  83. Thad E Ginataom says:

    Add my name to the list for PCI Audio Card. I want to be sure I don’t miss the very first issue!

    I’ll be giving Ridiculously Expensive HDMI Cable a miss, though…

  84. xhonk says:

    Corpse Digest.


    All images used, rasterbated, or otherwise mistreated are from Wikimedia Commons.

  85. buzz graphics says:

    here’s mine:

  86. dirtbag kingdom says:

    From the exclusive, secret, almost fetishistic world of the Staple Enthusiast; STAPLES MONTHLY

    click on image to enlarge.

  87. Pip_R_Lagenta says:

    I have decided to not do a cover for “Does This Look Infected” magazine. You’re welcome.

  88. Treespyders says:


  89. Scary_UK says:

    US only!? What about the rest of us?

  90. Anonymous says:

    Sleep… A Magazine By and For New Parents

  91. Anonymous says:

    This appears to be a similar contest:

  92. Anonymous says:

    I saw the graphic, clicked furiously to figure out where and how would could acquire PCI Audio Card Magazine, and only afterwards read the posting text. Thoroughly disappointed, I was ready to subscribe.

  93. dabey says:

    nice diversion. i want the bag too.

  94. Anonymous says:

    I’m not sure that Thumb Drive Aficionado would be the most boring magazine ever. I mean, Cat Fancy is still out there!