Testicle-hating right-wing moms get steamy over "Schweddy Balls" Ben & Jerry's ice cream

[video link]

"OneMillionMoms," an offshoot of the right-wing American Family Association, is calling for a boycott of Ben & Jerry’s after the company’s release of an irreverently-named new flavor: "Schweddy Balls," after a classic Saturday Night Live skit featuring Alec Baldwin, Ana Gasteyer and Molly Shannon.

“The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive,” the lulz-less political group wrote in its press release.

More at People for the American Way, and Wonkette.

(via @luxmentis)


  1. Man, I hope they never hear about “Mother Fukker’s Peanuts”, (allegedly inspired by an old German lady’s recipe.)

  2. These “OneMillionMoms” need to get their minds out of the gutter. Ben & Jerry’s should sue for defamation.

  3. I’m diappointed that the title doesn’t read,”“Schweddy Balls” leave bad taste in One Million Moms mouth”

  4. And where–WHERE–were these million mommish women when I was picketing Häagen-Dazs, standing alone against their infamous pints of Cock In Ass?NOWHERE, that’s where.Bloody hypocrites.

  5. I am absolutely certain that Unilever (corporate parent of Ben and Jerry’s) is thinking, “Whatever you do, please do not run around on major talk shows with large audiences talking about our ice cream! Not that! We beg that you stop… uh, in a week. Maybe two. Well, OK, go the whole month if you like.”

  6. damn “teabaggers” always dipping their rightwings in the cream.

    now i’ll just have to buy twice as much Ben&Jerry’s to compensate for their boycottery.

  7. One little point: If the American Family Association had said nothing at all about this ice cream product, then it would have entered the market and left the market without me ever knowing anything about it.  Now, however, I am going to be on the lookout, and if I see it, I am going to buy it.

    1. I’ll bet this is the catch-22 all watch-dog groups encounter frequently when trying to decide what trends to focus resources on.  

  8. “Well, isn’t that special?!” (The Church Lady)

    And boy cots are not going to solve any schweddy ball problems.

  9. funny enough, but the idea of eating ice cream with that flavor in mind is disgusting. whoever at b&j thought this was a good idea does have a sense of humor… but is mildly retarded.

    1. Maybe it’s because I’ve had schweddy balls in my mouth before, but nothing about that name would turn me off this ice cream.  My sense of humor is probably a little more juvenile than yours though.

  10. Why does everything have to be so vanilla with them.  (goes to check etymology of the word vanilla…) ohhhh, that’s ironic.

  11. Did anybody read the description of what the actual flavor is supposed to be?  “vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum and is loaded with fudge covered rum and milk chocolate malt balls.”

    sweet fancy jesus!  If that tastes half as good as I imagine, then who really cares about the cutesy name.  I mean, it’s chocolate rum balls in ice cream!


  12. Has anyone else read the depth of their hatred in the variety of non-issues they’ve got at their website? I mean, some of it makes sense, like the “stop letting Abercrombie & Fitch sell our 8-y.o. daughters racy clothing” but all of the same-sex relationship hatred has got to stop! :(

  13. So, let me get this straight:

    An offshoot of the AFA — a militant hate group that fears their own bodies and the idea that anyone, anywhere is experiencing pleasure — is saying that they’re going to START boycotting Ben & Jerry’s, a company that celebrates peace, love, understanding, diversity, Woodstock, Jerry Garcia, Phish, Stephen Colbert, and the hedonic goodness of chocolate – ?

    OHNOES THE LOST REVENUES whathefuckever, AMillionMoms, take a fucking course in economics and next time you announce a boycott make sure it’s of something that someone might actually believe you don’t scurry past with eyes averted.

  14. I think boycotts and such are dumb and outrage over stuff like this is dumb.

    I also think the ice cream name is pretty stupid and very juvenile and the announcements just made me roll my eyes and go ‘whatever’.

    Now Phish Food, that’s a flavour I can get behind.

  15. America – where we have it so good people have nothing better to do than bitch about ice cream flavors with innuendo.

  16. This is the same group that boycotted Ellen when she came out. Now she has a daytime show. Their boycotts aren’t exactly successful in the long run.

    1. Sadly, these people have exerted considerable power over advertisers support of TV shows they dislike like Secret life of an American Teenager, The Cougar, He’s a Lady, Two and a Half Men and many more. There is a list of companies that have cowtowed to their rightwing craziness on their website under their Successes.


    1. I’m sure that somewhere out there Trey Parker and Matt Stone are wondering how they got passed up for a testicle-pun-themed Ben & Jerry’s flavor first.

  17. They should suggest an alternative name. Something with a clean connotation, like that nice former Governor, Rick Santorum. That’s something I’m sure they wouldn’t have a problem with putting in their mouths.

  18. The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive

    This lady has obviously never tasted my delicious, schweddy balls.

  19. I think what they’re annoyed about is that ‘schweddy balls’ sounds a lot like ‘sweaty balls’. This is obviously offensive to them as they don’t like the idea of eating puns, they’re comedy purists.

  20. “The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive. Not exactly what you want a child asking for at the supermarket.*”
    Actually, I would laugh my ass off if I were in a “supermarket” and heard a kid ask “Hey mister, where are the Schweddy Balls?” It’s classic kid humor that falls perfectly into the category of piss, fart, shit, dick, chocha and asshole jokes. Of course, it’s also an archetypal prank like “Is Mike Cunt there?” 


    * Do kids really run around the ubiquitous, enormous supermarkets and ask for items? Aren’t they usually there against their will, kept close on a tight figurative (or real) leash, while their parents buy boring things like groceries? I mean, sure, I see it in corner stores or bodegas, but I have a feeling these uptight ladies are not commonly found buying stuff in a corner store. I simply cannot imagine any of them enjoying a cold 40oz. on the stoop.

  21. Wait a minute. How can they be moms if…. oh. my. god! That means that ONE MILLION of them have been F*CKING!

    Moms against balls. It’s official, we now live in Southpark.

  22. I like to drizzle chocolate sauce on my schweddy balls. These mums would fill their mouths with them if only they knew the heavenly flavour!

  23. “The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive,”  

    The vulgar new intolerance has turned something as innocent as humour into something repulsive to idiots.
    Or something like that.

  24. Can a flavor actually be vulgar? I mean, we might say “fuck” is a vulgar expression. Is it also a vulgar flavor? “Don’t eat that fuck, it’s vulgar tasting!” Schweddy Balls is probably not a vulgar flavor. Sweaty balls may be, however, but I’m not trying that one out myself.

    1. Just being a snob, but I’m thinking that, oh, “Fried Pork Rinds” is a vulgar flavor. Or, perhaps, “Trailer Hitch Chrome.”

  25. Curiosity got the best of me, and I googled “Cock In Ass Ice Cream” – and found this amusingly fitting Wayne’s World quote:

    “Benjamin is nobody’s friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he’d be pralines and dick.”

  26. This calls for an Emergency Re-Branding… call them :

    “Ben & Jerry’s All-American Freedom Balls ”

    That oughta do it.

  27. I think these folks are probably simply offended by the fact that half of America even has testicles.

    Million Moms, according to news reports, was previously offended by another B&J flavor, Hubby Hubby, created to honor same-sex marriage.

    Again with the sex hangups. Why, oh, why, can’t the rest of society stop having sex to accommodate these people?

    Oh, and just a note — if this organization really does have one million members, that means 1 of every 150 Americans is a member. That means we should pay proportionately less attention to them than gay people, who may number as many as 30 million.

  28. We are the Gladys Kravitz nation. 

    No, forget that. We are the Gladys Kravitz global culture. 

    Futurists of days past saw today as tomorrow and that technology would eventually free us from the mundane and manually intensive labors to pursue more eclectic and philosophical endeavors. But instead, we chose the low road and have devolved into 7 billion renditions of Gladys Kravitz.

    Of course, there is a price to pay when the world is made up almost entirely of nosy busy-bodies who don’t have enough of a life for themselves to worry about what kind of life old Gladys has next door and down the street and in another state or another country…

    Ahem! You get the picture.

    The old notion of live and let live has long since passed away, survived only by an abusive widow who assumes the right to place value on what everyone else is doing and thinking and saying… without so much as a glimpse into the mirror.

    Ice cream flavors? 

    Gladys gets upset because of ice cream flavors and then Gladys next door gets upset over what the first Gladys thinks and then we have this hairball blowing across the vast expanse of cyber space carrying a million Gladys’ all scratching and clawing and biting…

    The human condition is… way overrated but also almost always underestimated, lol!

  29. “The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive”
    When did ice cream become innocent?  Look at it’s large doe eyes staring at you inexperienced in the ways of the world.  Here comes a cad wearing a top hat and cape with a long black mustache ready to defile it and tie it to the railroad tracks. Stop, it’s only sweet , sweet vanilla.

  30. I used their form to send a letter of support to B&J’s, I consider it an appropriate use of their resources.

  31. The Barbara Streisand Effect… is in effect.  I give it less than a month for the flavour to be the #1 seller.

    This latest display of Piety Theatre means these housefraus, with too much time on their hands, have already had their ‘reward’ – biblically speaking.

    All in all, I’d rather have some ice cream.

  32. How nice it must be for you that your life is going so well that the name of an ice cream flavor is such a pressing and important problem among the plethora of other issues.

  33. *sigh*  Thanks a lot One Million Moms, you are forcing me to buy this flavor ice cream now, despite the fact that it doesn’t sound like a flavor I would dig.

  34. Would not be at all surprised to learn OMM is astroturf. In either case, this flavor name (which I WILL be picking up a pint of simply to offer to lady callers) was obviously intended for just this sort of publicity. So, really, win/win.

  35. You can send a letter from the OneMillionMoms website to Ben & Jerry’s! It’s autofilled with some drivel, but you can edit the text! Feel free to send Ben & Jerry’s some encouraging words via the OneMillionMoms campaign.

  36. It is interesting what provokes the activism of a million moms. The execution of an innocent man in Georgia doesn’t make the cut. What does is an ice cream with the word “balls” in the name. If the million moms wanted the product to fade into obscurity, they should not have directed so much attention to it. I saw word of it a few weeks ago and didn’t care then, tho I thought it was amusing. 

  37. I think we should all utilize AFA’s handy-dandy little “Take Action and Send a Letter to Mr. Greenwood” campaign, and write Mr. Greenwood to tell him how much you love Ben & Jerry’s and hate the AFA.  It would be high-larious if a flood of favorable letters came in from that site instead of the hate mail that AFA intends. :)

  38. I don’t know if this will work for me lol The glorious taste better make me forget about the name!

  39. I kind of assume they already lost that demographic when they temporarily changed Chubby Hubby to Hubby Hubby (“in support of marriage equality”).

    1. Their intolerance is showing when they mention the “controversial” Chubby Hubby ice cream that celebrates gay marriage.

      Aren’t hubbies who can get chubbies considered a plus in heterosexual marriages?

  40. Umm…the kids probably wouldn’t even get/understand what “Schweddy Balls” is if people would stop making such a big deal about it. People need to lighten up. It’s just ice cream named after a skit…& the skit isn’t goin’ anywhere…it’s a SNL Classic.

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