New Jersey mother arrested for taking 5-year-old daughter to tanning salon


114 Responses to “New Jersey mother arrested for taking 5-year-old daughter to tanning salon”

  1. Brainspore says:

    Tanning salon or tannery?

    I hope her husband is really into leather.

  2. buddy66 says:

    That photo has either been Shopped or the woman is clearly insane.

    • mappo says:

       Insane.  Watch the video.

      • Ipo says:

        I have no sound but the moving picture convinced me. 

        • Jim Saul says:

          The difference between the mother’s relatively normal recent photos and what’s on display in the video scream “publicity stunt” to me. Some kind of reality show?

          The little girl isn’t even peeling… from experience as a redheaded kid, there’s no a chance she had a serious sunburn a few days ago.

          • Funk Daddy says:

            Her frequently exposed skin isn’t as vulnerable as the rest of her. Your face/neck/arms will withstand way more than your bits that are generally always covered. 

      • lvl99 says:

         I love how even she says the quip “that’s not normal” in response to the allegation she took her daughter under the tanning bed, and has no qualms about the state of her face.

    • dee lucas says:

      It wasn’t shopped.  She was on The View this morning.  Skin cancer walking.

    • Andrew Singleton says:


      That or they /REALLY/ monkied with the contrast settings.

      My brother said it best. And with a straight face.
      ‘Wow. She’s a really lovely shade of Oompa-Loompa.’
      Personally the mother looks like she’s been in a fire.

    • SomeGuyNamedMark says:

      I thought I was watching an Onion video

  3. inkfumes says:

    This should read “Beef Jerky arrested for taking 5-year old daughter to drying rack”

  4. Mister44 says:

    Christ – this woman needs help. I mean – at what point can you in good conscience let her continue to ‘tan’?

    • Brainspore says:

      Salon staff: “Ma’am, you’re not going to get much of a tan if you don’t take off that leather jacket.”

      Woman: “Get out of here, I’M NAKED!”

    • Efemmeral says:

      It’s a shocker alright because everyone knows tanning salons are all about conscience.

  5. doggo says:

    In other news: New Jersey mother criticized for controversial blackface interview.

  6. inkfumes says:

    Obviously a case of Tanorexia.

  7. blueelm says:

    Wow. Addiction. 

  8. Ron Wortz says:

    Wasn’t she on The Walking Dead?

  9. Mr. Mole says:

    Isn’t this a case where the “bartender” should refuse to give the “drunk” a drink?

  10. dragonfrog says:

    While the lady may well be nutso, it’s spring and the kid is a redhead – after a winter of cloudy weather and long sleeves, redheads tend to get sunburned from walking too close to an operating toaster.  (I have some of those celtic sunburn-from-a-flashbulb genes myself).

    • Brainspore says:

      Yeah, I’ll admit the cover story does sound plausible.

    • show me says:

       I will agree with this point but one of my peeves is when people say shit like the husband did, “Well, it was 85 degrees outside!” Temperature has no causal relation to the amount of suntan/burn you get, it’s the UV index and amount of time exposed.

      • Brainspore says:

        But it does relate to how likely someone is going to be outside for an extended period of time with a lot of skin exposed, so it’s not exactly irrelevant. If the weather had been overcast in the low 50s that day then the “sunburn” story would be much more suspect.

      • timquinn says:

        Next, you will explain that one doesn’t actually suck the fluid up the straw but the air pressure pushes it up. 

      • kringlebertfistyebuns says:

        You’re not just whistling here.  I got a lovely sunburn whilst out fishing – in mid-March.

        • Antinous / Moderator says:

          It was 107° here ten days ago.  And the UV is frequently 16 out of 16.  You can get a burn in about 60 seconds.

          • awjt says:

            If you’re an albino deepwater eel.  If you’re an old leatherback like me… 2 minutes.

    • Funk Daddy says:

      Base-tanning for protection is a myth, it does nothing, except that more radiation is had and increases likelihood of negative consequences.

      That SPF of “4″ (extremely low) that is claimed from base tanning is the most optimistic, and is an indicator of UV damage, not healthy skin. It lets you have 1-3 minutes more time in the sun before severe sunburn.

      Base-tanning is a concept promoted by the tanning industry on faulty or outright false science in order to sell product/service to people who are otherwise too intelligent to use their product/services.

      They’re still knowingly selling you an increased risk of cancer, but under the guise of health rather than the usual guise of beauty. Yes, it is morally a step down from their standard business model

      • Antinous / Moderator says:

        Next you’ll be claiming that it’s not a good idea to lay down a base buzz before you drive to the pub.

  11. Teller says:

    Somebody ought to tan her hide.

  12. Dave Pease says:

    “Of course I didn’t put my daughter in the tanning bed. My policy is that I do the tanning for everyone in this family.”

  13. CSBD says:

    I can’t believe they allow her to reproduce much less tan.  SHe has another younger kid as well… WTF, she must be with someone who is blind or has a yet to be named fetish.

  14. Ipo says:

    Maybe her mental issues are the exact opposite of those that Michael Jackson had.  

  15. BBNinja says:

    That little girl doesn’t look like she was put in a tanning bed but that woman does look hideous.

  16. Utenzil says:

    That’s not a tan. That’s Minwax Dark Walnut, if I’m not mistaken.

  17. jackie31337 says:

    And the town/municipality seems to be called Nutley. I think that sums up this whole chain of events.

  18. Paul Souders says:

    “that’s…not normal…”

  19. realityhater says:

    holy tanned hide batman , Does mom thinks she looks HOT >>>  the Mom is obviously a Freak with a capital F , Though I doubt the ginger child would have survived the tanning bed of death.

    • ZikZak says:

      Yeah, and the same goes for people with tattoos!  Doing all this weird stuff to their skin, thinking it makes them hot…anyone who’s normal can see they’re just gross freaks.  And don’t get me started on those body-piercers and eyebrow-pluckers!

      I mean, sure, maybe they like the way it looks, but anyone who would risk hurting themselves for the sake of a look that I don’t enjoy has serious mental problems.  Fortunately we know what’s best, so we body-shame them.  Just trying to help!

      • UTChicago says:

        Which cancer was it linked to tattoos again?

      • realityhater says:

        I am not saying I don’t enjoy the look she is presenting  , I laughed my ass off and enjoyed the hell out of it!!!!!
        SHE IS FUCKING ORANGE FOR GODS SAKE , if you cant see that,  maybe you should step out of the tanning booth as well snookie !
        I am not advocating everyone must abide by my twisted version of reality or normality by any means. I’m just observing and calling em how I see em…………

        • Andrew Singleton says:

          ‘Your husband’s cheating on you.’

          ‘Excuse me? What does that have to do with my elbow hurting?’
          ‘Good Grief woman He doesn’t even notice the fact you’re Orange. Now lay off the spray tan… or go see Oncology. I”m sure Wilson’ll get a laugh out of this one.’

  20. Twiddle says:

    I think she’s really a female Ent.

  21. Dave X says:

    Quit being so serious, guys! Skin cancer needs to be silly!

  22. bo1n6bo1n6 says:

    Mr. potato head looks more human.

  23. bluest_one says:

    So many wrong, yet funny comments.

    My first observation is that the woman looks more like she’s been spray-tanned rather than had some kind of UV tanning.

    Secondly, that she’s lost perspective on what makes a good tan (alternatively, she’s paving the way toward a new definition of what looks good in a tan, fair play to her).

    Thirdly, not convicted of anything. Correlation != causation.

     And finally, this woman needs some help. IF (big IF) she was doing what is ALLEDGED, then she needs some guidance and assistance (she sounds like she may need some on at least one other front, in addition) and not ridicule or punishment.

    I love you Mark F, but would this not have been better posted IF there was a conviction, after evidence had been weighed?

    • Missy Pants says:

      So much body snark on this article its nuts.

      Also, as a redhead, this time of year is terrible for burns. You get all excited to finally be outside again and then spend the next day cursing the sun and your pale pale skin.

  24. nvlady says:

    The little girl is adorable. I don’t think she’s a bad mom, just overly orange. The mom does look silly, but it don’t make her a bad mom. 

  25. RedShirt77 says:

    7th Degree of Bacon?

  26. StAlfongzo says:

    Somewhere Willy Wonka is looking for a missing Oompa Loompa. Someone better tell him she went to Nutly to get nuts.

  27. IronEdithKidd says:

    I’m sorry, but who takes a 5 year old at their literal word?  Syntax and grammar aren’t exactly mastered by that age.

  28. Ryan Lenethen says:

    Been playing a lot of Fallout 3 and I have to say she looks like a Ghoul.

    Which ironically in this case were supposed to have been overexposed to the radiation blast of atomic war above ground…

  29. Andrew Singleton says:

    Honestly believe the mom’s story about the kid just having a sunbirn.

    The mom however. Where did she get her tan. The Sun?

  30. Sirkowski says:

    Drugs + Insanity = Great Parenting! (yeah, she’s a dope fiend)

  31. Prospero761 says:

    Who at the tanning salon even allows her to keep using a tanning bed? At least they flag drunks in bars…

  32. BDiamond says:

    Someone set her tanning bed on “extra crispy.”

  33. Ari B. says:

    Her face looks like my old baseball glove…

  34. Franklin says:

    KILL IT WITH FIRE… oh wait she’s probably immune

  35. fontastique says:

    Besides the fact that the mom is a nutjob… this is american journalism at its best.
    So to sum up, the teachers THOUGHT they heard SOMETHING, so they made an ASSUMPTION, and called the police… awesome, viva la USA.
    Then the journalist goes on about how she was previously arrested for something totally unrelated… wtf.

    • Efemmeral says:

      I killed ten minutes laughing through the funny, funny comments here. But this one stopped me cold. You are so right.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      Given her appearance and demeanor, you have to consider the possibility that the teachers are familiar with the mother, possibly in an infelicitous way.

  36. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    -10 points for the daughter also being a redhead.  They don’t tan, they burst into flames.

    • Andrew Singleton says:

      And yet unlike Vampires, Liches, several sorts of zombies, and Ghosts…

      Gingers do have souls.

  37. Sorry, can’t help but notice that she looks a little like great English actor Edward Fox in that picture.

  38. Antinous / Moderator says:

    Of course, her daughter is a redhead, which means that she already has a 200% chance of getting skin cancer.

  39. Ashley Coats says:

    She looks like she’s been put into the Bronze Sector at Warehouse 13, which of course means she’s a criminal!

    Seriously though I find her story believable. That little girl would of been red head to toe if she was put in a tanning bed. 

    I also believe she does all the tanning for the family as well. I seriously don’t think she’d give away tanning time she could use herself!

  40. Sekino says:

    Huh. I guess it’s possible to survive being cooked, as long as it’s done slowly enough (and ‘well done’ at that) . Scary.

  41. thermoplasticity says:

    What’s with NJ and tanning? Maybe it’s all the muff cabbage.

  42. AttackHamster says:

    Looks like her tanning bed goes up to 11.

  43. koko szanel says:

    but seriously,  standard US trash TV publicity stunt, like
    you see on the “learning channel”

  44. penguinchris says:

    Mark… did you leave the TV on after watching Xeni on The Price is Right? CBS News came on right afterward and this was the first story as I recall – I wasn’t paying attention until the mom’s face came on screen :)

  45. TheMudshark says:

    There´s probably no way you can kill this with fire.

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