Evolver T-shirt from Go Ape

The Evolver T-Shirt was kindly sent to me as a gift from Go Ape Shirts.

I was trying to think of song names for an Evolver album, but not doing a very good job. Can you help?

Taxman = ?

Eleanor Rigby = ?

I'm Only Sleeping = ?

Love You To = ?

Here, There and Everywhere = ?

Yellow Submarine = ?

She Said She Said = She Hooted She Hooted

Good Day Sunshine = ?

And Your Bird Can Sing = ?

For No One = ?

Doctor Robert = Doctor Goodall

I Want to Tell You = I Want to Groom You

Got to Get You into My Life = Got to Get You into My Unit-Group

Tomorrow Never Knows = ?

See what I mean?

• [David Brown]

  And Your Bird Can Sing = And your monkey can swing

  • [John Coffey]

     I like that, but I like “And Your Chimp Can Swing” even better.

    • [grabbagcinema]

      I also like “And Your Chimp Can Sign” in honor of good Mr. Nim.

  • [Caleb]

    And Your Turd Can Sling!

• [jarmstrong]

  Taxman = Macaques, Man

  Yellow Submarine = Orange Orangutan

   Dr. Robert = Dr. Zaius

  Poop. Here, There and Everywhere

• [Mark_Frauenfelder]

  These aew good@ And  Dr. Zaius is much much better than Dr. Goodall!

• [PhosPhorious]

  Yellow Subspecies. . . 

• [Brian Burrell]

  Taxman = Taxonomic man

  • [Warren_Terra]

    Or more simply “Taxon” – same number of syllables, you could keep a bunch of the song.

  • [Otis]

    Came here to say this. Only I was going to say Taxonomy Man.

• [T]

  Hair There, and Everywhere
  Fur No One

• [Dave Williams]

  “Taxonomic Man” is nice, but just plain “Taxon” would scan better.

• [Der Raketemensch]

  The rest:Taxman = Scratch Man
  Eleanor Rigby = Silverback Beat-Me
  I’m Only Sleeping = I’m Only Pounding On My Chest
  Love You To = Lob Your Poo
  Here, There and Everywhere = Here, There and Everywhere (in the Gorilla Park)
  Yellow Submarine = Yellow Banana
  Good Day Sunshine = Good Day Simian
  And Your Bird Can Sing =And Your Chimp Can Screech
  For No One = For No Ape
  Tomorrow Never Knows = Bonobos Never Know

  Bonus: Ballad of John and Koko

  • [Felton / Moderator]

    Or “Tomorrow Never Bonobos”.

• [Brian Burrell]

  Eleanor Rigby = Habilis subspecies
  For No One = For Darwin
  I’m Only Sleeping = I’m only extant
  Good day Yucatan Asteroid

• [Nick]

  Ape, man. (‘Cause I’m the Ape, man. Yeaaah I’m the Ape, maaaaan.)

  • [Ultan]

    Kinky.
    

    I’m an ape man, I’m an ape ape man
    I’m an ape man I’m a King Kong man I’m ape ape man
    I’m an ape man
    ‘Cos compared to the sun that sits in the sky
    compared to the clouds as they roll by
    Compared to the bugs and the spiders and flies
    I am an ape man

    -Ray Davies

    A King Kong man? Even better:

    I’m King Kong and I’m ten feet long,
    Got a big six gun and everybody is scared.
    I’m King Kong, got a hydrogen bomb,
    I can blow up your houses so you better beware.
    Everybody wants power,
    Everybody wants fame.
    Everybody wants money. …
    Little man’s weak and big man’s strong,
    Everyone wants to be King Kong.

    -Ray Davies

  • [Jim Saul]

    Koko is you.

• [BarBarSeven]

  Taxman = Taxman Give Ape Headache
  Eleanor Rigby = Eleanor Rigby Would Like Companionship of Ape
  I’m Only Sleeping = I’m Only Sleeping With Ape
  Love You To = Ape Love You To
  Here, There and Everywhere = Here, There and Everywhere Apes Are Loved
  Yellow Submarine = Yellow Submarine Look Like Big Banana for Ape
  She Said She Said = She Said She Said Ape is Good
  Good Day Sunshine = Good Day Sunshine for Ape
  And Your Bird Can Sing = And Your Bird Can Sing to Ape
  For No One = For No One But Ape
  Doctor Robert = Doctor Robert Likes Ape
  I Want to Tell You = I Want to Tell You I Like Ape
  Got to Get You Into My Life = Got to Get You Into My Life Because Apes are the Best
  Tomorrow Never Knows = Tomorrow Never Knows What Ape Will Do

• [Mark McAndrew]

  As any Pratchett reader knows, each word should simply be replaced with ‘ook’.

  • [Kev B]

    Was going to go through the trouble of “ook”ing all the songs, but you’ve put it quite succinctly.

• [Mitchell Glaser]

  Tomorrow Never Knows = Tomorrow On My Toes
  I’m Only Sleeping = I’m Only Shedding

• [copperwatt]

  Taxonomy Man 

• [Robert Baruch]

  Perhaps a little Koko twist:

  Taxman = Bad Foot Toilet 

  Eleanor Rigby = Lip Good Lips Good

  I’m Only Sleeping = Think Sleep Lie-Down

  Love You To = Hat That Toilet

  Here, There and Everywhere = Look Give-Me

  Yellow Submarine = Fine Have Food Hurry

  She Said She Said = Good Lip Lip Good Hurry

  Good Day Sunshine = Good… Good Light Sun

  And Your Bird Can Sing = Hungry

  LookFor No One = Obnoxious

  Doctor Robert = Foot. Foot.

  I Want to Tell You = Ask… Ask Lips

  Got to Get You Into My Life = This. Toothbrush.

  Tomorrow Never Knows = Stupid Tickle

• [r5d4]

  Eleanor Rigby = Langur or Mangabey?
  I’m Only Sleeping = I’m only diurnal
  Love You To = Lemur too
  Good Day Sunshine = Gibbon Sometimes
  And Your Bird Can Sing = And your baboon can swing
  Got to Get You into My Life = Got to Get Opposable Thumbs
  Tomorrow Never Knows = Homo Never Knows

• [Bloo]

  Yellow Submarine = Baobob Tree:  “we all live in a baobob tree, a baobob tree…”

• [Felton / Moderator]

  And Your Birutė Can Sing?

• [anix]

  Eleanor Rigby = Melon or Fig Tree
  Good Day Sunshine = Good Day Monkeyshine
  And Your Bird Can Sing = And Your Turd Can Sling

• [Michael Norris]

  And Your Bird Can Sing = Neanderthals Can Sing

  See http://www.amazon.com/The-Singing-Neanderthals-Origins-Language/dp/0674025598

• [r5d4]

   I Want to Tell You = I Want to Smell You

  Tomorrow Never Knows = Too many Bonobos

• [pjcamp]

  Eleanor Redbutt?

• [Mitchel Ahern]

  Taxman = Cro-magnon Man
  Eleanor Rigby = Entropy Fallacy
  I’m Only Sleeping = I’m Only Creeping (onto dry land)
  Love You To = Sexual Reproduction, You Too
  Here, There and Everywhere = Here, There and Everywhere Extinct
  Yellow Submarine = Yellow Sulfer Submarine Hydrothermal Vent Origin of Life
  She Said She Said = Mitochondrial Eve Said She Said
  Good Day Sunshine = Good Day Panspermia
  And Your Bird Can Sing = And Your Bird is a Dinosaur
  For No One = Amoebas Evolve For No One
  Doctor Robert = Irrelevant Doctorate
  I Want to Tell You = I Want to Spawn You
  Got to Get You into My Life = Got to Get You Into My DNA
  Tomorrow Never Knows = Tomorrow We’ll Grow Toes

• [Michael Norris]

  Eleanor Rigby = Hello Nim Chimpsky

• [ArghMonkey]

  Taxman = Ticks Munch

  Eleanor Rigby = Orangatang Jiggly

  I’m Only Sleeping = I’m Only Shedding

  Love You To = Love My Poo

  Here, There and Everywhere = Bush, Valley and Rainforest

  Yellow Submarine = Yellow Banana Leaves

  Good Day Sunshine = Good Day Sunvines

  And Your Bird Can Sing = And Your Chimp Can Swing

  For No One = For Red Bum

  Doctor Robert = Doctor Sayus

  Tomorrow Never Knows = Tomorrow Never Woo woo woo ha ha ha

• [JohnQPublic]

  Tomorrow Never Knows = Tomorrow I’ll bite off your nose

• [Wingnut]

  Great John Langur and Paul Macaque songs:

  Hair: There and Everywhere
  Banana Submarine

  For No Bonobo

  I’m Only Simian

  Goodall Sunshine

• [Ross Morgan]

  Fundamentalists Never Know

• [SoItBegins]

  Eleanor Rigby = Helen Orangutan

• [mesocosm]

  It’s clearly gotta be “And Your Archaeopteryx Can Sing.”

• [woid]

  I’ve proudly worn my Evolver tee ever since Cory posted about it here in 2007.

  Now ALL the kids are gonna have one!

• [Kellen Blankenship]

  Every song = banana

• [rattypilgrim]

  EEE, cheee chee, ya ya, gee, gee, ack ack (with a scratch of the butt and some frantic jumps)! I think that about covers it in chimp talk. They’re not really into puns.

• [zeppo]

  In the tree
  Where I was born
  Lived a monkey
  With hairy knees
  And he told
  Me of his lice
  And our fellow
  Chimpanzees
  So we groomed
  Beneath the sun
  And we typed
  The works of Shakespeare (Sorry, trouble with the rhyme here)
  We’ve evolved 
  Only so far
  With our fellow
  Chimpanzees
  A-ha!
  We all live with our fellow Chimpanzees
  Our fellow Chimpanzees
  Our fellow Chimpanzees
  We all live with our fellow Chimpanzees
  Our fellow Chimpanzees
  Our fellow Chimpanzees

  • [CognitiveDissident]

    How ’bout
    “And we typed
    Bard-liloquys…”
    (a contraction of “Bard” and “soliloquy”)
    (and soliloquy sort of rhymes with chimpanzee)

  • [Maria Pranzo]

    Or…
    “And we typed
    The Bard’s great works”
    …scans nicely

• [Jason Kretchmar]

  I’m only sleeping = I’m only tranquilised

• [daev]

  insert mental backing vocals with glee

  Let me tell you how it will be.
  you’ve naught for me; I want your tree.
  ’cause I’m the Axeman.
  Yeah, I’m the Axeman.

  You’re on a shorter Darwin pole.
  I’ll chop it down and eat you whole.
  ’cause I’m the Axeman.
  Yeah, I’m the Axeman.

  If you yell and scream Ill take your tree.
  If you beat your chest I’ll take your tree.
  if you fling some poo I’ll take your tree.
  If you move away, I’ll take your tree.

  bongo solo

  ’cause I’m the Axeman.
  Yeah, I’m the Axeman.

  Too many trees for you to use.
  Free to use ’til I use you.
  ’cause I’m the Axeman.
  Yeah, I’m the Axeman.

  Don’t ask, I really want it all.
  I’ll take it all before I fall.
  ’cause I’m the Axeman.
  Yeah, I’m the Axeman.

  And you’re living for no one but me.

• [Ian Wood]

   Is USELESS without this.

• [CognitiveDissident]

  Taxman = The Grape ApeMAN and the Magilla GIRiLLa
  Eleanor Rigby = Zira Chimpsby
  I’m Only Sleeping = I’m Only Simian                            
  Love You To = Hug Nim Too
  Here, There and Everywhere = Mine, Thine, and EveryVine
  Yellow Submarine = “We’e Orange Orangutans on the Green Banana Boat…”
  She Said She Said = She Screeched She Screeched
  Good Day Sunshine = Fred J. Muggshine
  And Your Bird Can Sing = And Your Beagle Can Bring (You Back To Galapogos)
  For No One = For No Chimp
  Doctor Robert = Darwin, Robert (subtitle: Well, Bonzo Was Smarter Than Professor Boyd)
  I Want to Tell You = I Want to Smell You
  Got to Get You into My Life = Got To Get That Ant On The Stick
  Tomorrow Never Knows = Bonobo Bo’s Nosey Nose

• [CognitiveDissident]

  Maybe this thread will spawn a Kickstarter along the lines of Beatallica or the wonderful Rutles (Beatles parody groups).
  (I’m waiting for my REAL Evolver album…)

  But what is the name of the group?
  The Silver Backers?
  Johnny and the Moonchimps?
  The QuarryApes?
  Hominidae-O?
  The Darwonders?
  The Beatolution?

• [solarsailor]

  yellow submarine = Richard Dawkins meme

• [David Mondrup]

  Taxman = T-rex man

• [lvl99]

  Taxman = EEE EEE AAAH OOOH
  Eleanor Rigby = HOO HAA EEE EEE EEEEEEE
  I’m Only Sleeping = HAA HAA HOOH HOOH HOOH
  Love You To = EEEEEEE EE EEEE
  Here, There and Everywhere = EEH AAH HOOOOOOH HEEE HEEEEEE
  Yellow Submarine = HAA HAH-HA HOOO HOOOOOH
  She Said She Said = EE EEEE
  Good Day Sunshine = O-HUUH O-HUUUH HU
  And Your Bird Can Sing = EEEEEEEEEEEE EE EEEEEE
  For No One = HUR HUR HOOOO
  Doctor Robert = EEE AH AH EEEEE
  I Want to Tell You = HOO HOO *throws poo*
  Got to Get You into My Life = AH EEEE HOOH HOOH EE EEEE
  Tomorrow Never Knows = HOO?

  Aw damn. Thought I was being clever but someone already beat me to the chimp speak. “Great minds” and all that, yadda yadda…

• [ludd]

   Yellow Submarine = Yellow Simian

• [noahantdragon]

  Good Day Sunshine = Good Day Creationists

  Doctor Robert = Doctor Fossey

  Tomorrow Never Knows = Hominidae Never Grows

  Here, There and Everywhere = Here, There and Evolverwear

• [cleek]

  And Your Bird Can Sing = And This Turd I Fling

• [Timothy Krause]

  A handy anagram generator yields gems like “Albino Greyer” (for “Eleanor Rigby,” scans too!) and “Max Ant” (for “Taxman,” duh) and “Ovule To Yo” (for “Love You To”).

• [Art]

  All this and no mention of Klaus Voorman?- the man who inspired so many young artists in the 60′s to pick up a Rapid-O-Graph technical pen?

• [Michael Schwartz]

  Here, There and Everywhere = Now, Then, and Wayback When

• [AquaDad18]

  Didn’t the American release of Evolver include the single, Silverback Biter?

• [dermot heaney]

  Dont use any of these. They’re terrible!

  • [Wingnut]

    How about this one then:
    “And Your Turd Can Fling”