FunnyJunk's lawyer sues American Cancer Society and National Wildlife Federation

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99 Responses to “FunnyJunk's lawyer sues American Cancer Society and National Wildlife Federation”

  1. Blake Lowe says:

    http://www.snogglenews.com/shows/beavis-butthead/s05e47    

    Why does this whole thing remind me exactly of and episode of Beavis and Butthead?  Oh, yeah, because the guy is a fricking idiot.  I didn’t write him any emails before, because it’s not exactly my fight, but now I feel motivated.  For the record, Inman did not inspire this, this is totally the dumb-dumb’s fault.  

    • blueelm says:

      Careful. He’ll probably sue you. lol! But really. Oh and OMG thanks for that video! That was perfect.

  2. This guy is something else.

    Good luck on completely destroying yourself and your professional credibility, Mr Carreon.

    • blueelm says:

      Celebrity. Thankfully there seem to be some sensible lawyers out there. Imagine that!

      • fauxscot says:

        Most are quite sensible, in fact.   They make their living off the conflicts of other people, most of whom don’t understand the law, or much else for that matter.    Law is what makes civilization civil.   We usually don’t blame doctors for disease, do we?  

        • Mitchell Glaser says:

          As a matter of fact, doctors are the cause of a ton of disease, dealers of insanely addictive drugs, and the spreaders of much ignorance in the world. Lawyers are the source of vast amounts of injustice, the one at the middle of this conflict being a great example. “Making their living off of the conflicts of other people” might well be rewritten as “Making their living by inflaming the conflicts of other people”. In many ways lawyers are quite like arms dealers.

          Doctors, lawyers, politicians, police – they all belong to the class of “respectable” professions that get a pass from society hugely raising the bar of what is considered unacceptable behavior.

          • Random_Tangent says:

            Yeah, screw doctors! Who need ‘em? 
            /dies of natural causes at age 35

          • Ryley Reis says:

            Righto, be sure to tell this all to the doctor the next time you have an appendicitis or get cancer or the flu or malaria. Yes there are diseases that are spread in the hospitals but that is somewhat inevitable. Also fun fact for the ignorant: If actually used to treat pain, medications are not addictive. YAY KNOWLEDGE!

          • Antinous / Moderator says:

            Also fun fact for the ignorant: If actually used to treat pain, medications are not addictive.

            After I’ve carefully explained to people why I take Vicodin (their eyes usually glaze over after about ten seconds), there’s always a wink wink nudge nudge about how much fun it must be getting high. I would like to scream, “I don’t fucking get high!”, but they would just attribute it to withdrawal symptoms instead of frustration with idiocy.

          • kjs3 says:

            Let me guess…you’re a chiropractor or herbal remedy peddler.

          • JMM says:

            Nice, but you forgot the part about how Ron Paul rabble rabble rabble rabble rabble rabble

    • ComradeQuestions says:

      Oh, but the schadenfreude at the end of this will be so very, very sweet…

  3. Adrian says:

    He’s a parasite without the charm.

  4. Nash Rambler says:

    Seriously?  This is “The Oatmeal”‘s arch-nemesis?  I was expecting someone with a twirl-able moustache, or a secret lab.  Minions, at the very least.  Instead, Oatmeal gets a bumbling irate lawyer with a twitchy lawsuit finger.  Where’s the fun in that?

    • nixiebunny says:

      I just found out that he lives in my city, but he’s in a tract house in a bland subdivision on the über-boring east side.

      Guy needs a secret underground lair at the North Pole.

  5. toyg says:

    How the hell did FunnyJunk people find this fruitcake ? They must be regretting the day they hired him.

    • Yeah… which kinda makes you wonder he’s representing himself and not Funnyjunk in this lawsuit? Hmmmmm :)
      But if I where running Funnyjunk I would send very large scale contribution to Bear Love and a formal apology including the promise that they will never ever hire Carreon again – I mean honestly, they HAVE to start thinking about how this will affect them as a company.

    • Does anyone know who actually owns FunnyJunk? The simplest explanation is that Carreon and/or one of his close family members owns it.

  6. Matt Popke says:

    The Jack Thompson comparisons just keep making themselves. Seriously, when will this guy read up on recent legal history? This is actually worse now than the Thompson vs. PA debacle. This guy may actually be trying to set a new record for how quickly he can get himself disbarred. He’s gone from facing one SLAPP lawsuit to facing four now. He’d better pray none of this gets to court or he’ll destroy his own livelihood. What a moron.

    • Until he filed this suit, I didn’t think there was a Jack Thompson comparison.

      Now, I totally agree with you.  He’s only ‘probably’ going to end up getting disbarred — but he’s definitely never going to have a legitimate client again.

      • Matt Popke says:

        Well, Thompson’s PR troubles really got out of hand when he tried to file defamation and “incite to threaten” charges against the PA guys for writing a check to a charity with the note, “Because Jack Thompson wouldn’t.” That’s why this first started to look familiar when Carreon tried to get IndieGoGo to delist the charity drive. So far the biggest difference between this and the PA thing is that, as far as we know, Carreon hasn’t called the FBI to try and report Inman for criminal activity.

        It took years for Thompson’s meltdown to get so far out of hand that he was disbarred (and ultimately the conduct that got him disbarred had nothing to do with PA). This guy though, he’s really shooting for the “biggest misinterpretation of the law he’s supposed to understand” prize. I’m actually kind of looking forward to the judge’s inevitable dressing down of Carreon in court. If he continues to behave like this through the court proceeding, he’s not far from what got Thompson disbarred.

        Also, do we have any evidence that Carreon ever had any legitimate clients?

  7. Pedantic Douchebag says:

    I hereby dub this the Carreon Corollary to the Streisand Effect.

    • That_Anonymous_Coward says:

      The home of the Streisand Effect is already ahead of you here…
      http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20120616/00014119356/funniestmost-insightful-comments-week-techdirt.shtml

      althou it is possible quadrupling down might have been an optimistic number.

      The Carreon Effect: The act of doubling and then quadrupling down on an untenable position.

      • EH says:

        Maybe Carreon’s innovation will have been to provide a unit of measurement for the previously-monolithic Streisand Effect.

    • Simper says:

       Can we mandate that all education have at least a cursory lesson on the Streisand Effect?

      I propose a 15 minute video every year past the 1st grade all the way through college and grad programs. If this doesn’t catch enough people it should be included in every states drivers license exam and tax filing process.

      Eventually people will get the idea.

      • davelog says:

         No. If we educate the masses of the Streisand Effect, we lose the Streisand Effect.

        Solid entertainment is few and far between these days. Don’t take this from us.

  8. Charles Carreon aka Saul Goodman.

  9. James says:

    Clearly a proponent of go big or go home.

    No firm grip on reality, obviously, but still.

  10. blueelm says:

    From what I have seen the courts are not very kind to extremely frivolous lawsuits. I have a feeling this is going to end in hilarity.

  11. StreetEight says:

     What a pity that Sid James is no longer with us.  I would so look forward to “Carry On Suing”.

  12. awjt says:

    These guys aren’t funny anymore.

  13. jhex says:

    Judges get annoyed by such, esquires do from time to time get disbared

  14. Christopher says:

    Assuming Mr Carreon still works for FunnyJunk he may have unwittingly done them the service of providing the site its first original comedy material.

    Rather than scraping other sites for material I think henceforth FunnyJunk should promote Mr Carreon to the position of head writer because, let’s face it, the guy’s a laugh riot. Plus it’ll be a nice way for them to soften the blow of his pending disbarment. 

  15. Ken At Popehat says:

    Thanks, as always, for the kind words, Cory.

    • That_Anonymous_Coward says:

      Ken I read part of the filing and I clearly heard a snap in my brain… know anyone who would help me sue him for inflicting it upon me?  :)

  16. Ah El says:

    Sue ALL the people!

  17. Jim Saul says:

    [Does are as-of-yet-unnamed defendants] 

    From prior behavior, it’s possible that this guy is trying to include Bambi’s mother as a defendant.

  18. Greg Miller says:

    I’d love to be a fly on the wall when Matt’s, Indiegogo’s, ACS’, and NWF’s lawyers all get together. It’ll pretty much be: “Which nuke that this guy handed us do we want to use on him?”

  19. SedanChair says:

    This guy sounds like the very man to find the real birth certificate

  20. That_Anonymous_Coward says:

    WARNING…
    He has posted the filing on his website so you can download and enjoy…
    DO NOT BE DRINKING ANYTHING WHEN YOU READ IT.
    Has been shown in the state of California to cause mental damage.

    O M F F S M… this would be funny, if it wasn’t submitted to a court.

    My email was secret, only people with access to PACER, able to run a WhoIs, or with half a clue could have found out what it was…  its all Inman’s evil handywork!!!!  RAWR!!!!!

    • That_Anonymous_Coward says:

      Oh and I just found that secret unpublished email on his own website on an email from 2007 when he was trying to threaten Google for having delisted the wacky website he and his wife run…

      Lying to the court… seems like a really stupid thing to do.

  21. kP says:

    “CNS” ?

    • Tribune says:

      Courthouse News Service I had to take a second look myself when i read it – I was wondering how he ran afoul of the Central Nervous System.

  22. ROSSINDETROIT says:

    All other lawyers hate lawyers like this.  Isolated incidents of douchebaggitude* are what lead the public to believe ‘all lawyers are assholes’.  Seriously, I’d be surprised if his colleagues aren’t all over his neck talking him out of it for the sake of their collective professional image.
    *Douchebaggedness?

  23. jayson says:

    Carreon
    (Verb)

    1. To lash out blindly, yet only succeed in causing harm to oneself.

    “He became so enraged that he lost control and began to carreon wildly, until he was covered in self-inflicted bruises and passers-by began to back away slowly.”

  24. angusm says:

    Can someone tell this guy that the rule is “When you’re in a hole, stop digging”, not “When you’re in a hole, send out for a mechanical excavator”?

  25. Heartfruit says:

    If they haven’t done so already FunnyJunk should likely fire this clown before he draws them into something much much bigger then they ever intended.  I can’t imagine a company that called an attorney to see if there was anything that could be done about some unflattering Google results really meant to be connected to a lawsuit against National Wildlife Federation and American Cancer Society

    • That_Anonymous_Coward says:

      This lawsuit isn’t connected to funnyjunk, except they had the misfortune of having hired him once.  This entire case is all his own.

  26. Joe Almond says:

    Somebody get this lawyer a lawyer to provide him with some legal advice, stat. Also, take away his cocaine stash, he clearly spent 48 hours hoovering columbian snow before deciding that the best course was to sue a cancer charity and a wildlife charity.

  27. Dr_Wadd says:

    Oh dear, is Carreon himself lifting material from the interwebs without attribution now?

    http://www.charlescarreon.com/charles-carreon-internet-lawyer-blog/i-can-haz-good-internetz-pleaz/2012/01/23/

    vs

    http://washingtonbus.org/blog/sopa-gif

    Note to Mr Carreon, notice the question mark at the end of the first sentence.

  28. ydereky says:

    I just read the lawsuit as posted on Carreon’s site.

    I particularly like 1) that he donated to the campaign himself and 2) his assertion of copyright over his name and the resulting consumer confusion that has directly resulted. There’s more, but I need to pace myself.

  29. Ashen Victor says:

    Why no one is mentioning Paul Christoforo vs Penny Arcade?

    This guy is like Christoforo in (more powerful) steroids!

  30. capnmarrrrk says:

    Isn’t Rule 1 for Attorneys  : “An attorney who defends himself has a fool for a client?”

  31. MickD says:

    Did anyone else notice this Carreon fellow has registered his name as a Trademark, using it as a Servicemark for his legal services? 

  32. Kaleberg says:

    This story reminds me of one of Carlos Bulosan’s short stories, My Father Goes To Court. Bulosan grew up poor in the Philippines and wrote stories about his youth there. In MFGTC, he and his poor family lived next door to a wealthy man who ate quite well. There was always a chicken roasting or some other wonderful scent wafting from the wealthy man’s house, and sometimes he and his whole family would just step outside to enjoy the scent before returning to their own meager rations. Eventually, the rich guy sued. The family next door was unfairly enjoying the fruit of his table. In court, Bulosan’s father didn’t defend himself, but rather passed the hat and collected every penny his family had, not all that many. Then he presented the hat to the rich man, conceding that he had enjoyed the scent of his cooking food, but when the rich man reached for the hat, Bulosan’s father pulled it away saying that he had seen and smelled the money, and that was suitable repayment. Needless to say, the story ends happily.

    (It’s behind a paywall at http://www.newyorker.com/archive/1943/11/13/1943_11_13_045_TNY_CARDS_000195311, and it was republished in A Treasury of Laughter.)

    P.S. This story is far from an exact parallel, but the medium of justice has its parallels.

    • Kaleberg says:

      Isn’t the internet like something out of Emil and the Detectives. (Young boy has his money stolen on a train. Crowds of street kids all help him get his money back and expose the crook.)

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      That’s a rewrite of a story from ‘Aesop’ or the 1,001 Nights or some other ancient source. Originally the payment is the sound of money for the scent of food.

  33. Dude really needs to take off the Ramones tshirt.

  34. Alenônimo says:

    Holy fuckpola! Carreon must be clinically insane!

    • arbitraryaardvark says:

       It is a possible case of tantra-induced delusional syndrome. See
      http://www.american-buddha.com/tids.htm.

      I checked to see if this guy had had any disciplinary proceedings against him. Two, fairly minor. He was once disbarred for 60 days. However, when he was disciplined in California the next year, they thought it was a first offense.
      So, if any of you are going to be bringind this matter to the attention of the Cal. Attorney disciplinary commission, you could mention that it would be a third strike.

  35. Zabinatrix says:

    This story has been strange from the start. Sites like FunnyJunk live almost exclusively from people posting other people’s copyrighted work there – for FJ’s profit.

    Normally they get away with that behavior, because most people enjoy going to a site that has a collection of funny things from all over the internet. Every once in a while someone complains when their work is appropriated for the site, but that passes quietly. They take down some pictures, the one complaining shuts up, and FJ can keep making money from other people’s work.

    Making a big stinking deal about what the Oatmeal said about FunnyJunk changes that whole dynamic though. The lawyer is doing nothing but drawing a whole lot of attention to what FunnyJunk is all about and makes it harder and harder for people to ignore the blatant copyright violations.

    I can’t imagine that there is anything positive in this for FunnyJunk. Sometimes no press really is better than bad press.

  36. Jack Kieffer says:

    Does Carreon think that letting everyone on the internet know he’s a moron is going to help him in his case??  Also, he’s SUING THE AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY.  That’s just being a jerk.

  37. Ultan says:

    The band Kansas seems to have foreseen this with the lyrics of the song:
    “Carreon, My Wayward Son”, particularly the 3rd verse:

    Masquerading as a man with a reason
    My charade is the event of the season
    And if I claim to be a wise man, well
    It surely means that I don’t know

  38. BCarbaugh says:

    Why is it always the ones who are in the wrong that get the most defensive and litigious?  FunnyJunk is like the new Ebaumsworld.  They aggregate comics and pictures, slap their shitty name on them, and try to claim them as original content — or content they’ve fostered in their ~unique community~ by-proxy.
    Guess what?  The internet is a complex web of information.  I see a picture I find funny, I repost it elsewhere.  Welcome to the 21st century.  Don’t like it?  Sue me.

  39. Cowicide says:

    Never go full retard.

  40. “2. Charles Carreon appears as “attorney pro se,” meaning “I am attorney but am representing only myself” and “I will continue to wreak havoc until forcibly medicated.”..

    Too funny. (Please don’t sue me Chuck, I’m just having a laugh.)

  41. angusm says:

    I’m rather looking forward to the moment when he sues himself for “causing irreparable harm to my professional reputation” and “causing me to become an object of ridicule for the entire Internet”. Really, a case in which he appears pro se for both plaintiff and defendant is the only logical conclusion to this whole business. Let’s hope he doesn’t decide to settle with himself out of court.

  42. richard77 says:

    My theory is that Mr. Carreon had an epiphany and decided to became a organic farmer, so he decided to help Oatmeal fund raising giving them as much  publicity as possibly, given the fact he wont need his lawyer license (or whatever is called) in his new life.

    This is the most rational explanation of his behavior (so it is probably wrong)

    • Truenam says:

      My similar theory is that once the fundraisers generate a remarkably large donation, Carreon will say he is withdrawing his suits, and he was just taking advantage of the publicity to help two causes he cares deeply for. He rescues his career and actually ends on a positive note. Even if this wasn’t his goal, I think he should adopt it.

  43. IronEdithKidd says:

    I’m beginning to wonder if this whole thing isn’t some elaborate performance art piece.  No matter, it’s quite entertaining.  Carreon.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      Someone with more time than I have at the moment should be reworking Blame Canada into Blame Carreon.

  44. sortfn says:

    Wow… One doesn’t often get the opportunity to watch a lawyer melt down so completely and so publicly…

  45. Tribune says:

    the truncated title in my web browser tab is “FunnyJunk’s lawyer sues America…” oddly appropriate

  46. elix says:

    I’m sorry, this is just getting sad, now. This man should be given supervisory care, therapy, and medication. And his even-less-attached-to-reality wife. Seriously, these two are less grounded in reality than a balloon made of unicorn farts, painted in an invisible shade of bicycle disappointment.

    I can’t even laugh at Carreon anymore. It’s like watching an old man piss all over himself because he absolutely refuses help even though he’s 96 years old and barely able to control his arms. It’s not funny, it’s just sad and uncomfortable to watch.

  47. darkjayson says:

    FunkyJunk encountered a wild Oatmeal

    FunkyJunk sent out Carreon

    Carreon used nonsense

    It’s not very effective

    The Oatmeal used common sense

    Its super effective, the Carreon is confused

    Carreon is confused

    It hurt its self in confusion

    Carreon has fainted

  48. Keith Tyler says:

    “incitement to cyber-vandalism”

    Uh, is that even an actual crime?

  49. Repurposed says:

    Maybe get the Oatmeal to donate $20 to Scientology just to give them a serve of crazy harrassmenty litigation.

  50. David Seymour says:

    For the record I’d like to say that it’s not FunnyJunk itself doing this, but rather the Admin. Everyone on FJ hates Admin.

  51. Chris Recouvreur says:

    I think Charles Carreon would be a prime candidate for a Nigerian scam, he has no clue how the actual internet works.

  52. Palomino says:

    You can’t blame the guy for living up to his last name:  Change the e to i,  and you have carrion, dead putrid bubbling flesh, sounds out the same too.  I haven’t read all 90ish posts, I’m sure it’s been mentioned, unless everyone is worried about being sued…

    Well, look at that, charlescarrion.com is available…anyone?

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