Man threatens to shoot out tires of Amazon delivery truck for trespassing, but there's a surprise ending

Old man threatens a delivery man for trespassing, and promptly discovers that he is trespassing himself. from r/instantkarma

Here's an old guy being mean to an Amazon delivery person, but then a boss-level old guy and old lady with a bat appear for a plot twist.

I'm not sure where this is, but people in those parts don't take kindly to people stepping on their property. Read the rest

Trump adviser Kevin Hassett: 'Our human capital stock is ready to go back to work'

White House adviser Kevin Hassett said the quiet part out loud just now: “Our human capital stock is ready to go back to work.” Read the rest

Jared Kushner casually talks about canceling election, then tries to walk it back

In an interview with Time magazine published yesterday, President Trump's failson-in-law and shady-assed advisor Jared Kushner suggested maybe postponing the November election.

That is not allowed, unless Congress says 'yes' to the plan.

That was Tuesday. On Wednesday, Kushner attempted to walk back his comment about how he's 'not sure' he can commit to a date for the 2020 presidential election. Read the rest

Chris Christie says losing 3,000 humans lives every day to Covid-19 is a fair price to protect the economy

America's ultrarich recently trotted out talking puppet Chris Christie to make the case that allowing as many people to die from coronavirus every day as were killed in the 9/11 attacks is a good bargain for United States economy.

From Complex:

[On CNN] Christie was also asked specifically about the fact that a Trump administration model is now projecting an estimated daily death count of up to 3,000 people by the start of June. Asked if the American people "would be able to accept" the reality of reopening following such news, Christie said, "They're gonna have to."

(Image: Gage Skidmore, CC BY-SA 2.0, modified) Read the rest

Jamie Dimon is a (highly selective) socialist

Jamie Dimon (previously) is the Jpmorganchase CEO who committed a $13b mortgage fraud and whose company received $25B in TARP bailout money, $500B in low-cost federal loans, and billions more through the bailout of their insurer, AIG. Read the rest

Bill from Missouri's Rep Ben Baker threatens librarians with prison sentences for allowing minors to read books banned by town committees

Under Missouri House Bill 2044 -- the "Parental Oversight of Public Libraries Act" -- each town will elect a committee of five local people (librarians are not permitted to serve) who will take local submission for books to ban. If they choose to ban a book, any librarian who allows a minor to check out or read that book will face up to a year in prison, and their libraries will be de-funded. Read the rest

In defamation case, Elon Musk will testify that "pedo guy" is a common South African phrase and not an accusation of pedophilia

Vernon Unsworth is one of the rescue divers who helped free the children who'd been stuck in a cave in Thailand; Unsworth made some pointed remarks about the disutility of Elon Musk's proposal to bring the children out in a miniature sub, to which Musk replied by publicly calling Unsworth "pedo guy" and "child rapist" and then daring Unworth to sue him. Read the rest

The Lincoln Library executive director got fired for renting Glenn Beck the original Gettysburg Address

Alan Lowe was Executive Director of the Lincoln Presidential Library, and as he struggled to help the debt-saddled institution survive, he hit on the idea of renting out Lincoln's original, handwritten text of the Gettysburg Address to noted colossal asshole Glenn Beck. Read the rest

Indiana University Provost: The First Amendment says we can't fire our notorious bigot professor, so here's what we're doing instead

Eric Rasmusen is a tenured business school professor at Indiana University Bloomington; for many years, he's posted a stream of "racist, sexist, and homophobic views" to his personal social media, including the idea that women do not belong in the workplace (he often refers to women by slurs like "slut" when discussing this and other subjects); that gay men should not be allowed in academia because of their insatiable sexual appetites and propensity for abusing students; that Black students are academically inferior to white students and do not belong at elite academic institutions. Read the rest

New Hampshire state Rep John Potucek kills Right to Repair bill: "cellphones are throwaways...just get a new one"

New Hampshire's Digital Fair Repair Act -- based on model Right to Repair legislation circulated by the Repair Coalition -- died this week after the state House of Reps voted it down, with Rep John Potucek [R-Derry] telling a reporter that he voted against the bill because "In the near future, cellphones are throwaways. Everyone will just get a new one." Read the rest

"The Tragedy of the Commons": how ecofascism was smuggled into mainstream thought

Garrett Hardin's 1968 Science essay "The Tragedy of the Commons" is one of the most widely assigned readings in the past ten years' worth of university syllabi; notionally, it describes how property that is held in common is prone to overuse and exhaustion, while privatization creates an owner who has an incentive to serve as a wise steward over the resource. Read the rest

Robert Bork is the architect of the inequality crisis

If you know the name Robert Bork, it's probably in the context of his failure to secure Senate confirmation when Ronald Regan put him up for the Supreme Court (his sins from his days in the Nixon administration caught up to him). Read the rest

Pressed about Amazon deforestation, Bolsonaro proposes only shitting on alternate days to remediate climate change

Torture apologist/homophobe/racist Jair Bolsonaro -- whose successful election to the Brazilian presidency was the result of a conspiracy among the wealthy and senior prosecutors and judges, who subverted the justice system in order to ensure that his rival was kept off the ballot -- has presided over record-breaking Amazon deforestation. Read the rest

Frontier receives $283.4m/year in taxpayer money, neglects network, rips off customers -- and Trump's FCC won't investigate

Frontier Communications is a telcoms company so naturally they're a terrible company (a telcoms company is just a collection of regulatory subsidies wrapped up in a layer of greed and malpractice); the company is one of the nation's leaders in the use of fraudulent accounting to evade taxes, and it takes in $283.4 million every year in tax-funded subsidies to provide services to rural Americans, while ripping them off like crazy and cutting corners by neglecting its network and allowing it to fall into dangerous disrepair. Read the rest

Mooing NZ opposition leader denies making "barnyard noise"

According to NZ opposition party leader Simon Bridges, the loud mooing noise he made during Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern's turn at the mic during Question Time on May 7 was not a "barnyard noise," contrary to the Speaker of the House's characterisation when he was kicked out of Parliament for his behavior. Read the rest

Joe Biden kicks off his presidential bid with a fundraiser hosted by Comcast's chief lobbyist

Joe Biden, a colossal asshole, wants to be the Democratic nominee for president in 2020 and in the most on-brand move ever, he's launched his campaign with a fundraiser hosted by the chief lobbyist for Comcast, the most hated company in America. (Image: Ildar Sagdejev, CC-BY-SA) Read the rest

Ontario's low-budget Trump-alike wants to eliminate sedation for people getting colonoscopies

Doug Ford (previously) is the trumpian buffoon elected to the office of Premier of Ontario by rural voters who never experienced his laughable bumblefuckery firsthand (the people of Toronto -- who suffered under his tenure on city council while his asshole crackhead brother was mayor -- resoundingly voted against him). Read the rest

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