Let's go ahead and cast the What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? remake

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79 Responses to “Let's go ahead and cast the What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? remake”

  1. EH says:

    Are you kidding? Lindsay Lohan and Tilda Swinton. Oh, I see you already covered Lohan, but still…

  2. Jack Feerick says:

    Casting this with an actual former child star, preferably one who’s hit the skids hard, would not only add the frisson, but could also be cathartic for the actor or actress in question. And you could definitely cast younger, given the accelerated pace of burnout in today’s Hollywood.

    So I propose a youthful, gender-flipped take: Macaulay Culkin in the Jane role, playing the monster he could all too easily have become, with Rory Culkin in the wheelchair. I’d buy that for a dollar.

  3. This was already remade as a TV movie with the Redgrave sisters. MTV did a parody ad with The Hudson sisters as Courtney Love and Madonna.

  4. jangersnap says:

    I love that you’ve given so much attention to this movie recently. Back in high school I remember that my psych teach made us watch this; if any of us could sing the full “I’ve written a letter to Daddy…” song in front of the class, we got extra credit. Over ten years later, I still know the whole damn creepy song and I’m pretty sure that no extra credit is worth that price.

  5. ethanwc says:

    Hollywood is completely bankrupt of original ideas.

  6. sam1148 says:

    Meryl Streep as Blanch, Shirley McClain as Baby Jane and Philip Seymour Hoffman as the Victor Buono character.

  7. Eric S. Riley says:

    If we’re going Drag, it would have to be Peaches Christ and Charles Busch.  

  8. Aaron Swain says:

    Walter Hill is directing and writing the screenplay!? Anybody else think this sounds like a terrible idea?

  9. Frank Diekman says:

    If they make the Sigourney Weaver and Linda Hamilton version, they should team up to fight an alien cyborg from the future in the third act.

  10. Frank Diekman says:

    Tara Reid and Paris Hilton.

  11. It has to be Weaver versus Close.
    Between them, they’ve slaughtered Xenomorphs, Bunnies, and Unobtainium-hungry Military Industrial Creeps.
    And voiced Andie MacDowell in a weird Tarzan film.
    Clash of the Titans.

  12. Jim Saul says:

    Rick Santelli and Larry Kudlow.

  13. Billy says:

    The press release indicated that the film would be set in the original time period. The film will just be updated to reflect more modern tastes- more blood, more sex, more violence (is that the same as blood.)

    • sam1148 says:

      …and the Baby Jane Doll is actually possessed by a demon that demands human sacrifices in return for fame.

  14. eselqueso says:

    Mick Jagger and David Bowie.

  15. Betty White for sure…with maybe Raquel Welch? or…Joan Rivers?

  16. Lucy Gothro says:

    ME – I could play Baby Jane so well, you wouldn’t believe it!

  17. Keith Tyler says:

    Are you kidding? The only one who can pull off a Bette Davis level insane is Betty White. The pic at top of the post practically looks like White already!

    And it’s not fair to typecast White as only a comedic actor. Prior to Golden Girls, her roles were much more serious and dramatic. For White, this would be like old hat, and a moment of career awesome akin to Rodney Dangerfield in Natural Born Killers.

  18. coolmachine says:

    Anniston/Jolie

    • IronEdithKidd says:

      Jolie has broken so many homes it’s difficult to pick the best pairing.  Personally, I think Thurman and Jolie would be worth watching.

  19. guygadbois says:

     The Olsen Twins.

  20. stargateguy999 says:

    Dames Maggie Smith and Judi Dench!!!

  21. Mike Dedmon says:

    Meryl Streep and Glenn Close – Perfect match!

  22. dmajor says:

    Okay, now remind me why we decided to “breeze past the obvious contenders” please?

  23. Melinda9 says:

    Jessica Lange for Jane and Diane Keaton for Blanche.
    Seriously the stink lines are coming off this already.

  24. StudioChata says:

    Ron and Clint Howard.

  25. Preston Sturges says:

     Sarah Palin in her breakout role in an Oxygen channel made for tv movie.

  26. trondmm says:

    Shannen Doherty and Demi Moore

  27. duc chau says:

    Sean Young… if it was a documentary.

  28. sarahnocal says:

    Danny Bonaduce and David Cassidy

  29. Teller says:

    Dustin Hoffman as an old, angry Tootsie.

  30. Keystone says:

    To deal with technology updates, in “What Ever Happened to Fanny Mae?” she types a note on a Macbook, closes the lid, and throws the laptop out the window, knocking out the neighbor meant to receive the note.

  31. Jessica Lange (Jane) & Meryl Streep (Blanche). Literal gold.

  32. skyhawk1 says:

    Paln and Bachmann.

  33. El-Fez says:

    Crispin Glover in the Betty Davis role. He could pull it off with a transgender twist, really weird it up!

  34. Halloween_Jack says:

    Shatner. Stewart. Resistance is futile.

  35. I want to see Madonna in the part of Jane.  Absolutely no one else will do. 

  36. DonBoy2 says:

    Holy…is that what Faye Dunaway looks like now?

  37. victorvictorian says:

    fuck everything, seriously. i’ve mean spiritedly joked for years about a Jaws remake and this here takes the cake in terms of vile uselessness. Hollywood is the absolute worst.

    • Jer_00 says:

      This is not actually more creatively bankrupt than Gus Van Sant’s shot-by-shot remake of Psycho.  It could potentially be the equal in creative bankruptcy, but it won’t be able to exceed it.

  38. juepucta says:

    I am sure Tyler Perry could inject Medea into the film and play all roles

  39. wendyjoy says:

    I always wanted to cast Michael and LaToya Jackson.  Pity it’s too late now :) 

  40. Jules says:

    Or even better Leonardo DiCaprio and Christian Bale, that would be EPIC

  41. Gyrofrog says:

    Fran Drescher, in both roles

  42. Oh noooo…please no. It’s such a cult classic. They already made a tv remake with the Redgrave sisters some years ago.

  43. Lemoutan says:

    I suppose it may be animated. Cruella deVille, against type, as Blanche. And Pippi Longstocking as Jane. She can play old.

  44. pjcamp says:

    Seriously. Helen Mirren in the Bette Davis role. She’s already played adult child once in Blue Remembered Hills.

    That would be a fucking supernova.

  45. BDiamond says:

    Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman. Rewrite the Victor Buono role for Katie Holmes, somewhow. Gold, Jerry, gold!

  46. NelC says:

    I don’t know why there has to be a remake. The original with Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtiss is still good.

  47. blackurge9 says:

    Easy. Christopher Walken as Blanche.  Johnny Depp as Jane.

  48. angstrom says:

    Looking at Walter Hill’s IMDB entry I predict a casting of Schwarzenegger and Stalone.

  49. TheSplund says:

    Saw the French & Saunders spoof – in my mind nothing will surpass that ‘re-make’

  50. irksome says:

    This notion is a travesty; we’ve officially moved beyond the pale.

    “Buchya are, Blanche. Buchya ARE.”

  51. Kerri Kenney  (Jane) and Thomas Lennon (Blanche)

    Molly Ringwald (Jane) and Ally Sheedy (Blanche)

    Catherine O’Hara (Jane) and Andrea Martin (Blanche)

    Toni Collette (Jane) and Rachel Griffiths (Blanche) 

    Swoosie Kurtz (Jane) and Edie Falco (Blanche)

    Jane Lynch (Jane) and Laura Linney (Blanche)

    Lily Tomlin (Jane) and Jane Fonda (Blanche)

    Bette Midler (Jane) and Barbra Streisand (Blanche)
     Though I totally would kill to see Susan Sarandon as Jane (and she DOES have “Bette Davis Eyes”).  

  52. Judi Davis and Toni Collette

  53. Jonbly Herbert says:

    Charlize Theron and Miss Piggy.

  54. Eric S. Riley says:

    Sally Strothers and Valerie Bertinelli

  55. Frank Diekman says:

    Gender swap version: Robert DeNiro (Blanche character), Al Pacino (Jane character)

    Imagine Pacino screaming “But you ARE in the chair! You ARE!”

    • blackurge9 says:

      But imagine Walken saying, “You wouldn’t–treat me this–way—if I weren’t–in this chair…”

  56. IamSmartypants says:

    I can’t believe no one has suggested Linda Blair (Jane) and Brooke Shields (Blanche).

  57. Rand . says:

    Please consider Jessica Lang and Carrie Fischer

  58. Adrian says:

    Patty Duke in BOTH roles.

  59. Orthodoxcaveman says:

    John Malkovich and Willem Dafoe.

    …sorry, what was the question?

  60. trondmm says:

    Roseanne Barr and Cybill Shepherd

  61. Lucy Gothro says:

    Okay…how about (I didn’t see this one listed, so forgive me if it’s redundant)…Mary Tyler Moore as Blanche & Betty White as Jane?

  62. clairesayswhat says:

    I’m a bit disappointed in you, BoingBoing, that this piece contains nary a mention of the book (which is equally as fantastic if you can get your hands on a copy) of the same name on which the film is based. The film worked in the first place because it is an excellent novel and also not least because of the fact that Bette Davis and Joan Crawford each fit the bill of their part at that time in their careers. I don’t think there is anyone out there today who could quite fulfill either role, but I will watch it? Of course!

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