Fresco restored


107 Responses to “Fresco restored”

  1. Christopher says:

    Are they sure it was a Spanish woman? It looks like it was done by Rowan Atkinson to me. 

  2. David Llopis says:

    I feel like absolutely everyone would be better off if news of this hadn’t spread very far. I know I’m not better off for knowing.

  3. EH says:

    “The secret to doing anything is believing that you can do it. Anything that you believe you can do strong enough, you can do. Anything. As long as you believe”
    –Bob Ross

  4. mappo says:

    Her painting reminds me of the self portraits William Utermohlen created while suffering the late stages of Alzheimer’s disease.  I wonder if this woman also once possessed artistic talent that was taken from her by dementia?

    • cdh1971 says:

      Interesting point M. I am not familiar with Utermohlen, but I will read up on him. 

      If the woman’s work was on a canvass instead of a fresco, I think it would be a worthy artwork by itself. Maybe it’s just me, but there is just something about it.

  5. RedShirt77 says:

    Am I a heartless tasteless asshole for thinking…”Oh jeez, one less portrait of Jesus on the wall of a church, where will we ever find another of those?”  

  6. GuyInMilwaukee says:

     Looks pretty accurate to me.
    I think more people would be god-fearing if they thought THAT was coming after them. Nightmare invoking.

    • Jonathan Roberts says:

      Now all the parents will start bringing their children to the front of the church before the service: “Jesus knows what you did last night, Eduardo”.

  7. IronEdithKidd says:

    As was noted on another blog, it looks like the lovechild of Fezzik and a barn owl. 

  8. ldobe says:

     There’s a reason why people get paid to do art restorations.  And those who offer to do many difficult professional jobs for free should probably be vetted, and show their work.

    Imagine: Your car’s rear differential broke, and some kid you don’t know says he’ll fix it for free.  You’d probably want to ask his parents if he’s done it before.  If he claims he had done it before, you might want to check out the person who had him do it.

    Confidence /= Competence

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      So you’re saying that she’s a member of the Dunning-Kruger school of painting.

    • Nagurski says:

       Yeah, but if he screws it up, my car won’t drive, and everyone would be remorseful.  Here, we have a serendipitously hilarious painting that sends me and many others into fits of giggling.

      • ldobe says:

         It’s not hilarious to the church.  And while I’m not religious, I do feel sorry that they got a raw deal on a unique (even if the subject matter is common to the point of cliche) painting’s restoration due to automatically trusting an overconfident amateur’s ambition and enthusiasm….

        It may be hilarious for us, but for the church and the parishioner it’s respectively mortifying, and humiliating.

        I’m just saying, if the church wanted it done properly, they should have hired a professional, or at the very least taken a look at the previous work the elderly lady had done recently.

        If Pablo Picasso offered to paint the acne off your kid’s face in a family portrait, would you expect his face to not look like a melted icecream cake when all was said and done?

        • Nagurski says:

           Therein lies the rub, or the smear, or the brush stroke. Even a ‘failed’ attempt at ‘Art’ can thrill and delight, or be a bitter disappointment to, different people. More utilitarian things have relatively narrower criteria for success-they either work better or they don’t when the job’s done.

          I’m sure I’d be happy with any Picasso re-interpretation of my family members, probably less so with that of the well-intentioned artist in this story. So I can sympathize with the owners and fans of the original art here, but at least there’s some good coming out of it. Maybe the publicity around this thing will result in some donations to the church to find some acceptable replacement art, and they’ll worship happily ever after. It’s not like the original was so great that the world of art and art history are measurably poorer for its loss. If it were a greater work, I think it’s much less likely that the restoration would have been handled so casually.

        • cdh1971 says:

          If Picasso wanted to, I would let him paint my actual child.

          • rattypilgrim says:

            There’s a story about Picasso writing his name on the child of a person who asked for his autograph.

        • L_Mariachi says:

          To put that in perspective, nothing is hilarious to the Church.

  9. fuzzyfuzzyfungus says:

    It’s, er, the thought that counts?

  10. xzzy says:

    Fucking perspective, how does it work?!

  11. fenrox says:

    God, I just LOVE IT. It is really, really amazing. Waaaay better than the 10×4 paintings of rando white jesus. I mean my god, that is just a way more emotional piece. I want her to paint lots of stuff.

  12. JIMWICh says:

    “There, I fixed it!”

  13. Frank W says:

    Requires Shock Cat.

  14. This is just a Ranger’s Hat and two Fuzzy Ears away from becoming a Fresco of Smokey the Bear.

  15. Brainspore says:

    The last “restoration” effort that went this badly was led by George Lucas.

  16. mobobo says:

    “The once-dignified portrait now resembles a crayon sketch of a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic”

    It looks absolutely nothing like the description above taken from the BBC article!

  17. Quiche de Resistance says:

    Sanctuary mobbed by worshipers

  18. Michael Mars says:

    I could pray to this. Church of The Indifferent Capuchin.

  19. govatos says:

    I still say he looks like Fezzik/Andre the Giant.

  20. Jeremiah Connelly says:

    “There we go.  Nailed it.”

    Oh the irony of that last statement.   haaa beautifully done Rob

  21. orangedesperado says:

    Was her name Francis Bacon ?

  22. Editz says:

    BBC cropped out the best part.  Looks like the artist decided Jesus needed an arm made out of a cinnamon stick.

  23. Dlo Burns says:

    I had to do with because photoshop hasn’t installed itself yet. It should get around to that.

  24. Qat says:

    “No one expects the Spanish Granny’s mission !”

  25. Reminds me of that 1992 incident where a youth group in southern France ended up destroying some 15000 year old cave art when they tried to clean graffiti out of an old cave.  Good intentions only get you so far…

  26. Lemoutan says:

    Bippety boppety Bacon!

  27. chgoliz says:

    So, it seems there IS someone on the planet who is a worse artist than I am.

  28. Adrian says:

    It’s a miracle!

  29. emo hex says:

    I see Burt Convey here.

  30. Halloween_Jack says:

    Quite honestly, the new version looks much more interesting than the old one, which looks like the sort of Jesus that any reasonably talented commercial artist could churn out.

  31. Curse me to Hell, but the picture on the right screams “I HAB TO GO TO THE BAFF WOOM”

  32. Art says:

    This article and the BB comments made my day.  Thank you. :)

  33. Art says:

    This morning, a BBC writer said ” it looked like a hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic.”

    Since when were monkeys considered such snappy dressers anyway?

  34. kiptw says:

    Who needs the government? Private citizens can take care of this stuff at a much lower cost!

  35. rattypilgrim says:

    There was so much left of the original painting it would have been like painting by numbers to finish it, although I assume the woman totally wiped the old paint off in her restoration attempt. That said, is there a test or some way of evaluating how each of us sees or perceives
    whatever it is we’re looking at? Is it possible we don’t all see everything the same way? I mean in a literal sense. Could the woman have looked at her rendition and felt totally confident it matched the original or is that where delusion steps in?

    • Dlo Burns says:

      Well typically with art things you need to present a portfolio of previous works.

      • rattypilgrim says:

        How does presenting a portfolio answer any of my questions? Do you know what a non sequitor is?

        • Dlo Burns says:

          The portfolio is a presentation of  how each artist sees or perceives.

          • rattypilgrim says:

            Dlo, I know what a portfolio is (however you put it more poetically than I would have). My question was is there a way to quantify (for lack of a better word) the levels of perceptive ability each individual has (not that my perception is better or worse than yours, for instance. Just different). Apparently the church’s priest saw her renovation the same way she did, while enough people saw no resemblance to the original and questioned the artistic ability in her version that it made it to the internet. Do we all see things the same way? How do our visions differ? If there is a difference is it genetic, cultural, how is it effected by technology or tradition, etc?

    • robuluz says:

      Maybe it does look exactly like the original version, and our perspective is skewed. We might just be ageist and sexist!

      • rattypilgrim says:

        See, that’s what I was asking, sort of. You have the before and after images of the fresco. When you look at them do you see any difference at all between them ? You have the original version right in front of you and you ask if OUR perspective is skewed, ageist, and sexist. I don’t want to sound mean, but were you home schooled?

        • robuluz says:

          I, errrm, well… OK. Sorry, what?

          • rattypilgrim says:

             Yes, to the woman it might look just like the original. That was my question re: how do we individually percieve things we are looking at?  Do we see things exactly the same way? You’ll have to explain how ageism and sexism come into it.

        • robuluz says:

          Ooooooohhhhh. I get it. To the woman it might look just like the original, not to us. Whooosh. That just went straight over my head. I feel like a real idiot now.

          Anyway, I hope someone with better comprehension skills is able to give you the answer you seek, and I also hope the full humorectomy works out for you.

          • rattypilgrim says:

            Sorry if I didn’t get your sarcasm. But if you ever taught art you might wonder WTF some of your students were looking at. And don’t get me started on  their critiques of their fellow students work.

        • robuluz says:

          No worries, it gave me an opportunity to showcase the level of maturity and high mindedness I can bring to a discussion. (c;

  36. The article says the church has a photo of the picture. They should post that on the Internet and let the Photoshoppers at it. I bet they’ll get excellent results for free.

  37. Philboyd Studge says:

    George Costanza is NOT happy with his beach picture.

  38. JohnQPublic says:

    This Pussy Riot thing is really taking off isn’t it?

  39. Petzl says:

    I don’t know how many here are familiar with the atheist youtube vlogger NonStampCollector, but this fresco restoration certainly copies his style:

  40. mothernatureseven says:

    I feel safer knowing this picture and this lady are far away from me.

  41. mothernatureseven says:

    I think that once after an all night acid trip I woke up with this woman next to me in bed. tufts of hair grew out the crack of her @ss. I swore off acid for a week.

  42. rachel ten bruggencate says:

    Shit, now we’ll never know what Jesus looked like.

  43. Marios P. says:

    well at least that can silence the creativists for a few days at least. Evolution rocks

  44. blueelm says:

    I feel a little guilty for laughing at this. I could see this being a feature in the plot of a Pedro Almodovar film.

  45. sean says:

    DIY. We all support that concept, right? She’s got the spirit of a Maker.

  46. Petzl says:

    You snarky people are being way too hard on her.  How is she going to get better unless she practices?

  47. Guest says:

    Bah. My granny could do that.

  48. hymenopterid says:

    *With purchase of Pussy Riot of equal or greater value. Some restrictions apply. Offer not valid where prohibited by authoritarian regime.

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