The Sweet Wines You Shoop

St. James Winery has armed itself with a copy of photoshop. [Hat tip: reck]

• [Ashen Victor]

  That´s some mad photoshop skillz!

  • [niktemadur]

    What about the marketing department?  Always on the ball, those people, nothing gets past them!

• [Cory Trevor]

  St. James winery is located high in the Missouri Ozark. Her arm might actually look like that ifyouknowwhatimsaying.

• [Pedantic Douchebag]

  Nothing makes me thirsty for sweet wine like an emaciated, insect-like arm.

  • [Antinous / Moderator]

    Mantis, oh Mantischewitz.

• [TJ Lambert]

  Oh, that brave girl. She still smiles with her arm attached to her scapula, and her head connected directly to the front of her chest.

• [creesto]

  Cuz, you know, its reeeeally hard to stage a photo like that amaze-o shot they mocked up

• [Dean Putney]

  Her weird arm looks much less out of place than Marissa Mayer there staring straight forward into an apparently vacant place setting as she holds up her glass for surfer servant dude to pour her more happy juice.

  I doubt Marissa even owns an apron.

  • [Gyrofrog]

     I thought that was a young Geena Davis.

• [PathosBill]

  Dear Graphic Artist,
  I know this is not what you wanted. I know your boss made you do it, and I’m sorry you’re not given enough (any?) input into the things _you_ actually output. I know the people who direct you have no real clue about photography or composition, and if they do, it’s based on 40-year old aesthetics and is so hopelessly out of touch with today’s design currents that it kills your creative spirit. I know you want a new job, where your creativity is actually used, and you’re not just a photoshop monkey. But have hope. Don’t give up. Make some small things on the side, remake the same material how you want it, and put both in your portfolio. Make some music videos, make some t-shirts. Just don’t let the spark die.

  • [TheMudshark]

    You really live up to your name, PathosBill. Nice one!

  • [Ashley Glatz]

    boom.

• [Amelia_G]

  Hate the USA’s weird tendency to associate sweet with wine; the easy rhyme is also too hard to refuse in song lyrics. I noticed when separated from the homeland that we tend to put sugar in cocktails and that young North American women with eating disorders too often make an exception for sugar but nothing else.

  • [Antinous / Moderator]

    My social circle mostly drinks straight vodka.

    • [Pupdog]

      Mine tends to stick with English Leather. We may move in different circles…

• [victorvictorian]

   photoshop blah, blah blah. the true crime is the product being advertised. i thought mastering wine making meant NOT making sweet wine.

  • [Gyrofrog]

    I haven’t sought one in about 24 years, but remember wine coolers?

    (See also: comments elsewhere on this page about marketing this to adolescents)

• [mobobo]

  must be good stuff – the lass whose just survived a car crash didn’t let that stop her turning up to the BBQ with the hupmarket alcopoop

• [Wes]

  They look like they are pre-gaming before a fucking Carly Rae Jepsen concert. 
  Hey, I just saw this, and it’s so crazy- here’s my gimp arm, cheap wine, baby?
  Seriously, are they 15? 

• [judson f. snell]

  3. Any advertisement which has particular appeal to persons below the legal drinking age is unacceptable, even if it also appeals to adults. Therefore, wine advertising shall not:
  a. Show models and personalities as wine consumers in advertisements who are or appear to be under the legal drinking age. Such models shall be 25 years of age or older.
  b. Use music, language, gestures, cartoon characters, or depictions, images, figures, or objects that are popular predominantly with children or otherwise specifically associated with or directed toward those below the legal drinking age, including the use of Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.
  c. Be presented as being related to the attainment of adulthood or associated with “rites of passage” to adulthood.
  d. Suggest that wine is similar to another type of beverage or product (e.g., milk, soda, candy) having particular appeal to persons below the legal drinking age.
  e. Use entertainment or sports celebrities having a particular appeal to persons below the legal drinking age. These selections should be substantiated by research demonstrating the basis for selection and periodically evaluated.

  reposted from http://www.wineinstitute.org/initiatives/issuesandpolicy/adcode/details

  IOW: I don’t think those 4 models are 25 years old COMBINED.

  • [Antinous / Moderator]

    I don’t want to live in a world where it’s illegal for Dora the Explorer to shill Bombay Sapphire.

    • [judson f. snell]

       ”Say it with me… ‘Lemons’, ‘Gin’, ‘Tom Collins!’” – Map
      “C’mon, vamanos. Everyone let’s go. Let’s get drunk on juleps, snort coke and then we’ll ‘do it’” – Dora
      “Oh, maaaayn” – Swiper

• [Joshua Danger Stnmtz]

  I’ve been to this winery, it’s near Rolla Missouri where my grandparents live.  It’s shitty.