Identity thief's amazing disguise fails to fool bank, toddlers

Joshua K. Pinney is charged with attempting to defraud a Bank of America branch in Des Moines into issuing him a bank card in the name of a man whose wallet had been stolen. To help with his ruse, Pinney allegedly conceived of this clever disguise, including whitening his beard, hair and eyebrows, and swathing his head and body in elaborate "bandages" to make it seem that he'd been injured in a recent accident as a way of explaining other physical differences between him and the victim

Here's more from Rose Egge in the Des Moines KOMO:

Prosecutors say Pinney presented the identification of an Oregon man to the bank manager and asked for a new debit card. The actual man on the ID was a client at the bank whose car had recently been stolen and his identification was missing. The victim had flagged his account to prevent anyone from using it.
Pinney told the branch manager that he was on a business trip in Washington and needed a new debit card, according to the police report. He also asked the branch manager if he could sit down and requested a glass of water, claiming he was in pain from a recent accident.
When confronted by police, Pinney stuck with his story and said he was at the bank to replace his debit card, documents said.
The police officer looked at the Oregon ID that Pinney had given the bank manager and asked the man if he was seriously trying to pass as the man in the picture. Court documents report Pinney hung his head and said “I know.”

Is it too late to make this my Hallowe'en costume?

Man's identity theft attempt falls flat at Des Moines bank (via Accordion Guy)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: costumes • crime • Weird

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Chuck Mathias

A few elements in the story that might otherwise confuse readers can be clarified by pointing out the whole fiasco took place in the Des Moines in Washington State, not Iowa.
Gilbert Wham

That suit ought to be a punishable offence anyway, deception charges notwithstanding. Egad.
waksawak

Is that a hair injury? Was his cowlick broken?
- KBert
  
  I know…
Just Good Sense

That “injury” looks straight out of Looney Tunes. The bank manager should have just handed him a stuffed bag with a big “$” marked on the side.
http://twitter.com/eliterrell eliterrell

It looks like Brian Butterfield’s diet works after all! He brings your loved ones back, dead or alive.
Mark Dow

Blast those hacker identity theives, in underwear they call pants. Props to this guy going for it in a respectable suit, during business hours. Do you think a tie would help?

The aggrieved party in the theft will get razzed mercilessly for this photo. Come to think of it, I think I recognize him …
http://profile.yahoo.com/GA4NCD5EB7VRFRE4ATHH2TEBQ4 Brooks

Also, it’s not the Des Moines KOMO, but one of the micro sites that KOMO (a ABC affiliate and also a radio station in Seattle) produces.
Snig

I somehow get the impression that a positive experience in high school Drama Club led him to this sorry state.
Chupate esa

Im guessing he watched “payback” and he thought he pull the same thing Mel Gibson did, lol
David Perriman

Ho ho. When the brains were handed out, I reckon he wasn’t even in the queue!
http://profiles.google.com/mhamblen Mick Hamblen

Joshua K. Pinney a dumb crook Bank of America a bunch of smart crooks.
http://twitter.com/rvitelli Romeo Vitelli

He couldn’t have just posed as a banker and ask for a bailout? The Feds seem more gullible…
- Boundegar
  
  No, I tried that, it’s harder than it sounds.
http://codeflow.org/ Florian Bösch

Wait, I know this movie. It’s like every bad bank-robber movie script that Hollywood never quite approves for production because Matt Damon hasn’t agreed to star in that role.
blueelm

I just think about that moment when he looked in the mirror and thought “yeah, that’ll fool ‘em” instead of “ok, this isn’t a good idea.”
- Boris Bartlog
  
  Possibly no mirrors were involved, hence the problem. Criminals often don’t do even the most rudimentary testing/QA and operate on wishful thinking instead…
  - http://www.xradiograph.com/ OtherMichael
    
    granted, A/B testing a bank robbery has its pitfalls.
voiceinthedistance

Thinking: You’re doing it wrong!
http://twitter.com/digitalArtform Joseph Francis

Ben Affleck has been tapped to play him in the feature.
http://artdonovan.typepad.com Art

Never in the history of medicine has there been a more inexplicably ridiculous bandage.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  When I had my cheekbone broken, then repaired, they incorporated a sort of rail on one side so that I couldn’t roll onto it while I was asleep. The whole staff of the Recovery Room sang I’m a Little Teapot to me.
Sparg

Oh, Baldrick and his cunning plans.
http://daruiburns.tumblr.com/ Dlo Burns

the crappy suit & bad makeup remind me of Torgo from MST3k
JG

At first glance, I thought he was in the running for World’s Crappiest Bert-From-Sesame-Street Costume.