Buy a wife from Vietnam for $6,000

I hope this is a hoax. (Via Bits and Pieces)

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The image itself is probably a hoax (it’s supposedly from a newspaper reporting on human trafficking) but the actual concept is real enough.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/22/world/asia/22brides.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all
http://twitter.com/_m4tth3w_ Matthew Wong

1. Buy wife.
2. Set her free
3. Claim she ran away
4. Get new wife
5. Go to 2
- http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher
  
  6. PROFIT!
  - ChicagoD
    
    Uh, except that 2 would be “banish her to brothel” and 6 would be send part of profit to pimp in Vietnam, rest is profit!
    
    Which is why I think the ad itself is probably not real. I suspect it is intended to make people think about how this sort of activity makes the human women into commodities.
    - mobobo
      
      totally agree – now the inhuman women deserve, just like the inhuman men, everything they get.
      - allenmcbride
        
        http://oglaf.com/human-women/
  - Dane Johnson
    
    write book
- niktemadur
  
  1. Buy wife.
  2a. Set her free.
  2b. If she comes back, she’s yours, if she doesn’t:
  3. Claim she ran away.
  Etcetera.
http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher

Can I just say that, hoax or not, I find the very idea deeply unsettling?
- awjt
  
  No, you may NOT say that.
  - http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher
    
    Yes, master.
    - awjt
      
      LOL, better to ask forgiveness than permission :-)
kateling

Whether or not this ad is real, these things certainly happen. And to be even more disturbed, look at the comments on the article:

“you guys should think it in a different point of view… do u see any of these vietnamese girls shown above are sad or crying.. they seems to be happy… and its not actually BUYING but kind of like ADOPTING”

“by looking at the faces of the girls… it doesn’t looks like human trafficking…”

“It not human trafficking, These women are not being sold for the purposes of prostitution or sexual exploitation, they’re being sold for the purposes of becoming a wife.”

Ugh.
- awjt
  
  Slavery/Indentured Servitude/Sex trafficking… all the same old shit.
- huskerdont
  
  Wow. Those people seriously lack empathy. I doubt there’s anything that can be done with people who somehow cannot comprehend the misery of those different from them. And the Internet has taught me that these people are either more numerous than I thought, or that they are over-represented on it.
Navin_Johnson

5. No soul brothers.*

*j/k. serious subject.
KWillets

Korea has quite a few wife-importing agencies, and a steady series of moral panics like these. The terms vary, and for the most part it’s voluntary, with meetings beforehand and so on. The husbands are usually rural farmers.

There have been a number of abuse, murder, etc. cases involving psycho husbands or wives in these marriages, but there’s also a government program to integrate “foreign spouses” into families and give them support services.

One of these days I’m going to enroll (edit: in the foreign spouse program).
- chgoliz
  
  At least in the States, the husbands are usually white men who don’t want a “feminazi” (translation: can’t get a girlfriend, so of course it’s the fault of women as an entire class) and have been told that Asian women are all like geishas….i.e., subservient and interested only in making her man happy in every way. Which of course is funny if you know a lot of different Asian cultures.
  
  The fact that you are interested in going this route says a lot about you.
  - KWillets
    
    Actually I meant enrolling in the foreign-spouses program, since my wife is Korean. I’m the sex slave.
  - CSBD
    
    OMG I had no idea you were friends with my brother… he turned into that after a traumatic brain injury. Went off the evangelical deep end and tried to buy a non feminazi wife… yeah it went “well”
    - http://profile.yahoo.com/OVFIJHVIGTOUZUVTSPJFCVMMGI Ethan
      
      Joli?
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    Living in SF for years, I know a few cases where white guys married Asian (but lived in the US since childhood) women, apparently expecting them to be submissive. Ouch.
    - niktemadur
      
      The classic “what could possibly go wrong” scenario, I can see the headline:
      White guy marries Asian spitfire, ends up locked up in his own dungeon.
      - Antinous / Moderator
        
        Certainly, men looking for submissive Asian women should probably avoid women from a country that’s had two women Heads of State in the last two decades, one of whom led the movement that toppled the previous dictatorship. But I guess that, to those kind of people, Asia is just an amorphous blob of Kung Fu and Geisha.
      - niktemadur
        
        Even in SF, really? As for the “Geisha” thing, at the very least, these men you speak of should take a gander at Empire Of The Senses. Abe Sada is not a geisha, I know, but it’s still quite a cautionary tale, if one is looking for “submissive”, according to some stereotype.
      - Antinous / Moderator
        
        Even in SF, really?
        
        SF is largely populated by people just off the boat from Peoria.
      - ocker3
        
        The Civilisation of Maxwell Bright was an Excellent film detailing a guy who imported an Asian wife
  - cdh1971
    
    Very true. The upside – at least just in my anecdotal observation of friend’s parents as a kid, these Asian wives were very adept at persuading these white men to change their ways, and actually make these guys not be such wing-nuts and or assholes. They are not the subservient easy to bully women these dudes think they are — especially in private, especially depending in which Asian culture they were raised.
relawson

Jeeze, that’s cheap enough for someone with lots of money to just get them the hell out of there and set them free!
- ChicagoD
  
  Welcome to America! Good luck!
filteredscenery

Happens all the time in other parts of SE Asia – particularly Cambodia, Thailand, Vietnam – and it’s sanctioned by corrupt authorities. Actually a quick google search found claims that under-16 Vietnamese girls would be purchased for around $400 by traffickers/pimps in Phnom Penh. This is f**king disturbing.

OTOH, testifying from my own experiences, it’s common for wealthy men in SE asian societies to have multiple wives who are purchased from parents for the equivalent of several hundred US dollars. This seems less disturbing (though still tantamount to slavery under western laws) since it’s more or less consensual – a good deal for the wives since they have a guaranteed livelihood, assuming the husband doesn’t abuse the situation (as happens everywhere). It still flies in the face of what’s acceptable for the US and similar societies.

I’m also told that in India it’s standard for cars to come with drivers: when a rich person buys a car, it comes with someone whose job it is to drive the car, on call. Rented apartments/bungalows have an attached room for someone whose job is to be your servant while you’re living in the place. This would again be tantamount to slavery or indentured servitude in western countries, but it works in their country – it’s actually a good deal for the driver/housemaid since they have a guaranteed livelihood that way.
- CH
  
  How is it consencual if the wives are purchased from the parents? Has the bride actually any say in the matter?
  
  And can the driver/house maid leave the job? If they can then it is not slavery or indentured servitude. It’s just working for somebody.
- ChicagoD
  
  Meh. I’m sure that a lot of people would have said that slavery/serfdom/indentured servitude, etc. worked in the West until people realized it didn’t. Your focus on the fact that it provides a living may be a more important point. It is not that it “works” in these societies, but that these societies have conditions that make it among the best options available.
  - Al_Packer
    
    Possibly not the “best option”, but the least bad option?
- jarmstrong
  
  Speaking solely to the practice in India of people who “come with” the home: It is my understanding, based solely on television and documentaries, that the custom is that the purchaser of a larger and/or more expensive home is also expected to take care of the financial needs of the caretakers. It is akin to having an au pere, live-in maid or butler, in so far as you provide food, shelter, some other necessities, and a stipend. In return, those persons (commonly an couple) will do maintenance, cleaning, and general livery. There is no prohibition against these people from leaving and they remain in the relationship of their own free will. The foregoing, as I said, is just my understanding, based on secondary sources, of how the system is supposed to work in India. I don’t see how it is indentured servitude if there is no “debt” and ongoing obligation to work your way out of the debt. There appears to be an ongoing quid pro quo, with more of an emphasis of trade for services and supplies, as opposed to cash.
  - Navin_Johnson
    
    Hard to see how it’s much different than legions of American McMansion owners with undocumented (and easily exploitable) maids.
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    Charlton Heston: “Hello, ‘Furniture’.”
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=609469718 Richard Vachel Lindsay

I’m guessing it’s from a late 60s underground newspaper, many of which had some pretty spot-on parody much in the vein of later National Lampoon and today’s The Onion.
http://www.aarongilliland.com/ Aaron Gilliland

Comes with free Bonsai Kitten.
- Gilbert Wham
  
  Heh. You know it’s STILL possible to troll people with Bonsai Kitten?
  - niktemadur
    
    So Bonsai Kitteh is the gift that keeps on giving? Sweet.
    
    EDIT: Thinking about it a little bit, Bonsai Kitten could probably spread like an outraged wildfire on Facebook.
sburns54

What do they think, I’m made of money? That’s outrageous. Do they have anything in the $300 to $500 price range?
- http://redesigned.com redesigned
  
  wait for the BOGO sale…
http://twitter.com/bradbelltv Brad Bell

After reading the NY Times article: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02…

It is more interesting to consider sex slavery than it is to consider arranged marriages.

The value of moral judgement is dependent on apprehending reality in a relatively trustworthy way.

The ad was obviously written by someone who was not competent in English. I thought it was a Lost in Translation joke. I laughed. But then, my clothes were all made by a 13 year old Vietnamese peasant girl. She also assembled my Mac. I think I might marry her one day. If the global economy can spare her.
http://redesigned.com redesigned

I wonder what percentage of any of these stories/unions turn out well? Has any documentary been done that followed any x number of these people?

I assume most cases are as bad as what people here imagine, but i also wonder if any end up escaping a situation that was much worse and are fairly happy being with some sweet introverted guy here in north america? no? yes? maybe?
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  The thing about mail order brides is that you don’t really know the details because they don’t get to interact with people outside the home.
  - http://redesigned.com redesigned
    
    Is that legal? They can’t all be held captive like that can they?
    
    Maybe I am just too optimistic and naive.
    - Antinous / Moderator
      
      If the wife speaks more or less no English and they live on a dead-end dirt road three miles outside of Bugtussle, possession is nine tenths of the law.
pjcamp

Well at least there’s a warranty.

Of course, you probably have to dial a bad VOIP connection to Saigon and scare up a supervisor to claim it.
wreckrob8

@Antinous You can take the people out of Peoria, but you can’t take Peoria out of the people?
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  It’s not instantaneous.
donovan acree

So you can rescue a person from a lifetime of sexual slavery for only $6000.00?
Loren Pechtel

Whether the ad is real or not I’m sure there are similar businesses out there. The desire to marry people from places that are better off is widespread. I’m married to a woman from China (but *NOT* a mail-order bride) and I see the pattern repeatedly. More than once I’ve had young women in China express an interest despite knowing I was married–obviously hoping I was interested in trading up. (And there haven’t been all that many that I’ve met that spoke enough English and weren’t family–as a percentage this is substantial!) Also, there’s the conversation that’s played out many times when we are out shopping: Young woman, to my wife: “Can he understand us?” Wife: “No” (I can pick out some words, I can’t follow a conversation at all.) Woman: “How do you like being married to an American?” Wife: “I’m happy.” Woman: “How do I get one?”. When the contact has been longer it’s not unusual for them to ask my wife to introduce them to some Americans. (Not a one of the women making such a request spoke any English, though!)

Vietnam is a lot poorer than China, the pressures would be a lot stronger.