Shape-Shifting Lizard Skin Cream

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15 Responses to “Shape-Shifting Lizard Skin Cream”

  1. fuzzyfuzzyfungus says:

    I’m 99% sold; but I still have a few concerns…

    Some of the crackpots who are working against my definitely-not-actually-real chemtrail and higher-dimensional ELF mind control plots have been scattering orgone concentrators all over the place. What assurance do I have that this product is orgone free?

    (Also, do you have anything with monoatomic gold?)

  2. IamInnocent says:

    sodomising infants on a blood-soaked altar

    Made me balk.

  3. Man, the lizard just can’t pull a “Blue Steel” half as effectively as the human.

  4. V says:

    This needs an Amazon review ala the Tuscan milk or the 55 gal drum of lube…

  5. welcomeabored says:

    You have to lube a lot of lizards, to find your handsome prince.

  6. Grey Devil says:

    It’s very funny, well written, and executed. But also kind of a racket, checking the guy’s Etsy he’s selling standard every day items with alternate packaging at a markup.  I’m not sure if i should be amused or not… for now i’m going with amused.

    • EeyoreX says:

      “Standard every day items with alternate packaging at a markup”  - that is probably the phrase you’ll find if you look up the definition of “Novelty item” in a dictionary. So there is nothing even remotely wrong or immoral about that. Unless the customer actually is a lizard, of course…

    • fuzzyfuzzyfungus says:

      The world is loaded with more-or-less-banal products in novelty shapes/packages/with twee quotations/etc/etc. It’s a harmless enough category, so long as everybody recognizes that you are paying for humor that, unlike a standup act or a cartoon, happens to be wrapped around some generic lotion or whatnot.

      Far worse deceits are practiced by the people in charge of exaggerating the qualities of banal commodities with a straight face…

  7. Greg Gage says:

    Reminds me of the Onion morning show piece on Shape Shifters….  They are everywhere!

    http://www.theonion.com/video/hot-new-relationship-book-warns-women-wake-up-hes,17053/

  8. BillStewart2012 says:

    Bah – it’s all a bunch of snake oil!

  9. Daneel says:

    As worn by Dr Jonathan Chase.

  10. iCowboy says:

    We should buy a tub and send it anonymously to David Icke.

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