John McAfee, the New York Times catch-up edition

After Gizmodo, after Wired, there is now a New York Times profile of John McAfee's descent into the heart of darkness, this one notable for its use of the underappreciated adjective "priapic."

Well played, thesaurus-using Times scribe, well played.

I kid, but it's actually a great piece, and this is one of those gift-that-keeps-on-giving stories that just becomes more interesting as more news dribbles out.

It begs to be made into a movie. And I'd place good money on Joshua Davis having already written a script.

I asked on Twitter today which actor should play the batshit teen-bonking gun-hoarding anti-virus-mogul 67-year-old.

Who do you think? Your replies in the comments. Herzog for director, amirite?

"I am indeed that same Stuffmonger."

Inside John McAfee's Heart of Darkness

Boing Boing editor/partner and tech culture journalist Xeni Jardin hosts and produces Boing Boing's in-flight TV channel on Virgin America airlines (#10 on the dial), and writes about living with breast cancer. Diagnosed in 2011. @xeni on Twitter. email: xeni@boingboing.net.

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http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb

“Priapic” isn’t quite as bad as “limn” or “limned”, which is like writing “Hold everything — Did I mention how many years of college I did? You have no fricking idea. This is how many: LIMNED.” Even worse than using semi-colons.
- chgoliz
  
  The last course I had on English grammar was in 8th grade. Semi-colon use was taught long before that.
  
  Reverse snobbism is still snobbism.
  - http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb
    
    Just following the advice of one of my heroes, Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.”
    - SamSam
      
      Everyone fricking loves quoting that line, because it means that they never need to learn how to use semicolons correctly, and can just be reverse-snobs about it.
    - wysinwyg
      
      Vonnegut was wrong about this and many other things.
- imag
  
  I like semicolons; uniting two sentences is different than separating them.
  
  And I like vocabulary. I prefer it to Newspeak. Shakespeare had a big vocabulary; does that make him a snob?
  
  Now that I look, I see the little blurb next to your name starts with: “Amigurumi-Syndicalist”. And you’re stressing about “priapic”?
  - http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb
    
    I find semicolons useful when listing clauses that have commas in them. What really cracks me up is in Wuthering Heights where Brontë writes the servant Joseph’s dialogue in this thick accent like a bumpkin, but with semi-colons separating sentences. [Am I misinterpreting this? Is he meant to be a moderately educated person who just happens to speak in an accent different from the protagonist? Or does the author associate dropped letters with low education like Americans would?] Is the character thinking in terms of semi-colons, or is the narrator helpless to keep her understanding of grammar from even this guy’s words?
    
    I’m not stressing about “priapic.” I’m replying to what Xeni said about it. I’m not stressing about “limned” either, but it seems too high-falutin when I read it.
    
    I’m not sure if this gets me off the hook for hypocrisy, but “amigurumi-syndicalist” is a joke. I’m aware that only people with a grounding in certain political terms and crafting or otaku terms will get it, and wouldn’t look down on people who don’t get it. In fact, it marks me as a geek if someone has to ask, so potentially raises their clout and lowers mine. It’s like a shibboleth, but I’m not going to kill people who don’t get it, or feel hipper than them, I hope.
    
    Dammit, shibboleth is obscure too. Oh well. That’s really unique and worth knowing though, unlike “limned.”
    - Antinous / Moderator
      
      What an utterly bizarre notion. Quoted speech in a novel is meant to represent what the person said, not to represent what they would have written down. Otherwise, speech by illiterate characters would just have to be represented by blank spaces in the text.
      - http://twitter.com/writebastard Ian Wood
        
        .
      - chgoliz
        
        Now that was funny!
      - http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb
        
        If semi-colons are essentially interchangeable with periods in those instances, then it’s just ironic. If semi-colons actually convey something different than a period separating two related clauses, then it doesn’t make sense to use them when transcribing the speech of a person who wouldn’t understand them. It would be like transcribing their words with poetic line breaks, adding meaning that wasn’t clear or present in the spoken words.
      - Antinous / Moderator
        
        Punctuation exists to represent speech, not the other way around.
      - SamSam
        
        That’s like suggesting that someone who speaks with a lot of asides and parentheticals shouldn’t be quoted with mdashes or parentheses if they wouldn’t know to use them themselves.
        
        If a character connects two closely-related independent clauses without a conjunction, then of course you can transcribe it with a semicolon. Similarly, if a character ends a sentence you should transcribe it with a period. You only think the two are different because you’ve decided that that the semi-colon is high-falutin while the period isn’t, but that’s your own problem.
    - wysinwyg
      
      Semicolons are useful to link together two independent phrases in the case that a conjunction would imply a somewhat altered meaning or disrupt the rhythm or parallelism of the phrase. Writing requires more than just “saying what you mean”. The structure and sound of the sentence make a big difference; try reading an awkwardly-phrased sentence quickly some time and you’ll see how difficult it is to derive meaning from it. (See what I did there? Now try replacing “;” with a conjunction like “so” or “and”…it seems wrong to me somehow when I do so.) And not everyone wants to sound like Ernest Hemingway all the time.
      
      In Bronte’s case, she may very well have been trying to convey a sense of breathlessness or enthusiasm since semicolons are often (and probably should be) read with less of a pause than a period.
      - Antinous / Moderator
        
        Obviously Joseph was the wearisomest self-righteous pedant that ever ransacked a grammar book to rake the semicolons to himself and fling the periods to his neighbours.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  I use semi-colons all the time. I’ve certainly used priapic a few times.
  - http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb
    
    You’re part of a dying breed. We’re lucky to have you.
    
    Now would it have been possible or appropriate for me to use a semi-colon after “breed” above? Would it mean something different than using a period?
    
    I actually think “priapic” isn’t very obscure, because every kid enjoys looking up pee and poo and ding-a-ling and swear words in dictionaries & thesauruses.
    - Antinous / Moderator
      
      Now would it have been possible or appropriate for me to use a semi-colon after “breed” above?
      
      Not really, as the concepts aren’t related closely enough. Here are two examples where the phrase after the semicolon either explains the part before it or explains why you should care about it. It’s a tight causal relationship.
      
      http://boingboing.net/2012/12/01/bill-nye-tells-us-how-old-the.html#comment-725177638
      
      http://boingboing.net/2012/11/28/32-signs-youre-dating-a-kee.html#comment-723233889
      - http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb
        
        Would it be appropriate to write “We’re lucky to have you; you’re part of a dying breed”? The second part explains why you should care.
        
        This is why I think some people quite reasonably give up on the semi-colon, because teachers scold you for misuse of semi-colon, in situations where periods would have been acceptable. What’s the advantage of ever using a semi-colon, unless it means something different?
        
        If it means something different from a period, and if there’s no verbal cue that perfectly communicates a semi-colon, then this is a case where written symbols can convey more meaning than speech, or different meaning. It might have begun with the purpose of capturing speech, but it can convey meanings that don’t match up with speech. For example, letters in different colors, different fonts, with weird poetic line breaks or indentation don’t necessarily capture or reflect speech. You can tell because it’s difficult to read them aloud and convey everything that’s on the page. E.E. Cummings might have intended to capture speech in his poems, but would it be possible to read one of his pieces aloud in such a way that everyone could transcribe it with the same indentations or white space or line breaks he used?
      - Antinous / Moderator
        
        Yes. That brings it into the vague semi-dependency that characterizes semicolonic relationships. In this case, I’d say that the semicolon replaces the word ‘because’. With a period, there’s no clear relationship between the two statements.
  - http://twitter.com/SilValgal Dee Cee
    
    You win the fur-lined potty.
http://profiles.google.com/jpersonna John Personna

Bill Murry! Which would make it a different movie entirely.
- nixiebunny
  
  So Wes Anderson directs it.
  - http://twitter.com/amanicdroid Dr. Chronobiologist
    
    This would alter an entire genre. Where do I send my money?
Grey Devil

Jeff Bridges would be perfect
http://imcravingpresidency.tumblr.com/ SedanChair

Willem Dafoe or James Woods, maybe
http://twitter.com/60th_Street 60th Street

Nick Nolte, hands down.
http://2012diaries.blogspot.com/ tristan eldritch

Jesus, whatever about priapic, “I am indeed that same Stuffmonger” is not something you hear every day. If I ever have occasion to say those exact words, I would be taking a deep breath and wondering about the course my life had taken.
donabean

Steve Buscemi is the obvious choice for this role. Cronenberg to direct if Herzog isn’t in for it.
- http://2012diaries.blogspot.com/ tristan eldritch
  
  Yes, Cronenberg was my first choice. I’m sure he could manage to shot it in Toronto.
Gypsy Jim

Malkovich would simply be awesome. Made for the part.
lorq

Robert Downey Jr., doing his Tony Stark schtick.

Christ, what an asshole.
rattypilgrim

Christopher Walken,but then I’d watch him in anything.
- chgoliz
  
  Well then: http://youtu.be/wCDIYvFmgW8
  - rattypilgrim
    
    That’s what I’m talking about!
DisGuest

Mathew Modine.
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2302324992/nm0000546/M/MV5BMjAxOTM4NjE2MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzE5NDgzNw@@._V1._SX640_SY999_.jpg
- http://daruiburns.tumblr.com/ Dlo Burns
  
  dead link
  - DisGuest
    
    Sorry, it was a photo of Modine with a beard and stache.
    Try this page:
    http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2302324992/nm0000546
Matthew Share

i second Walken, but i also think he’s a pretty good likeness for John Glover – the guy who played Lionel Luthor in Smallville amongst others.
ldobe

I’m a little puzzled that nobody has mentioned Bryan Cranston.
- IronEdithKidd
  
  Too young.
Milo

Every time I see this guy’s name in print I read it as “John McPhee” and every time I feel excited, then confused, then disappointed.
- Mark Dow
  
  Same. Then I wish that McPhee could spend a few days with McAfee and shed some light.
- http://twitter.com/SilValgal Dee Cee
  
  Silent “h” in surname, too?
  In long-gone John’s case, I see that surname (N. Irish) as “Crackafee.”
gumbowing

If only the late, great Klaus Kinsky were still alive. Hertzog directing of course.
http://tomleo.com/ Tom Leo

I vote Jack Nicholson as the role of McAfee
http://twitter.com/AlexHerlan Alex Herlan

Gary Busey.
http://twitter.com/magicpeacelove PeaceLove

Tommy Lee Jones has the look and charisma to pull it off.
Doug Flint

Nope, Charlie Sheen. He lives the character and wouldn’t have to do any heavy lifting.
Frank Diekman

Nicolas Cage. Nuff said.
Bart_in_Va

John Hurt, who is about the right age.
McMe

Priapic is often utilized to describe skyscrapers, fitting that the NYT would employ such an Adj.
pjcamp

Herzog? No no no no no. Terry Gilliam.
Luther Blissett

What about Nick Nolte? {edit: oops, already mentioned. Thumbs up for this.}
http://twitter.com/SilValgal Dee Cee

McAfee and Peter O’Toole look a lot alike. (Narcissist Crackafee must be lovin’ this movie talk and all the attention.)
wysinwyg

Willem Dafoe, Nick Nolte, and John Malkovich are the best suggestions in the thread so far. All of them are pretty good at conveying the “there’s a 2% chance I’m about to knife you in the throat” vibe I’ve been getting from the articles on McAfee.
http://twitter.com/Bestpaperboy Michael Chazin

Don’t know where the semi colon discussion came in. I thought we were talking about who would play McAfee in a movie. Someone already suggested Bill Murray, but he would be perfect. Kind of born to play this role.