The Atlantic's Derek Thompson has located a truly world-beating piece of obfuscated corporate bullshit, courtesy of Citi, who took 86 words to convey a simple fact: "Citigroup today announced [lay offs]. These actions will [save money]."
Citigroup today announced a series of repositioning actions that will further reduce expenses and improve efficiency across the company while maintaining Citi's unique capabilities to serve clients, especially in the emerging markets. These actions will result in increased business efficiency, streamlined operations and an optimized consumer footprint across geographies.
Citigroup Eliminates 11,000 Jobs in History's Most Corporate-Jargony Paragraph Ever
(via Making Light)
(Image: Muddy Maher's, Kinsale, a Creative Commons Attribution Share-Alike (2.0) image from ujh's photostream)
The Internet Archive’s Brewster Kahle writes, “We founded a credit union to build a new path after the banking debacle of 2008 and it’s been crushed by federal regulators. The regulators close 200-300 credit unions every year, and have been since their founding of the NCUA in 1970. Only a couple are allowed to start […]
The right-wing Telegraph can’t deny what critics have been saying since the Tony Blair years: when you use private to fund public services, the only people who benefit are the shareholders.
Stock buybacks (previously) allow CEOs to drive up the company’s share-price by using profits to buy shares back from investors, rather than investing the money in wages, R&D, capital or expansion.
The Micro Drone 2.0+ is truly in a league of its own, offering a new perspective on aerial photography, and a world of technological capabilities that make flying ridiculously fun. Simply throw it in the air at any angle and its self-correcting algorithm will stabilize for smooth sailing in no time. You’ll stay entertained with […]
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This minimalist multi-tool will see to it that instead of rocking a tool belt, you’ll carry just one. It’s shaped slightly like a key and weighs less than an ounce, so it plays nice with your keychain. The strong surgical-grade stainless steel blade will last, and is handy for everyday tasks like opening boxes and […]