Jesus ejected from darts tournament


78 Responses to “Jesus ejected from darts tournament”

  1. RadioSilence says:

    I… what… but… 

  2. dragonfrog says:

    Guess I’d better stay away from darts tournaments – if anything I have even more of a WASP-Christ look than this fellow.

  3. Brainspore says:

    Those spectators know that Jesus was an Arab Jew who probably looked more like Osama Bin Laden than Brad Pitt, right?

    • Glen Able says:

      The most successful rebranding exercise in history!

    • Aloisius says:

      Arab Jew? While there were certainly Arab Jews living on the Arabian peninsula, Jesus wasn’t one of them.

      Most Jews are closer genetically to Kurds, Turks and Armenians than Arabs.

      • Ipo says:

        No.  No. Yes. Yes.

      • CH says:

        Actually… Jesus was a Viking. Yep, old dad himself probably  imported him straight from the cold north into a more southern warm womb. It’s not like sky daddy could go rape a poor innocent girl to create some half-god-half-human hybrid, him not exactly being corporeal. Nope, straight from the north, I tell you. Haven’t you watched the paintings depicting Jesus???

        (Or, what is the Canon? Was a gamete from Mary used or not? Because if not, then Jesus could have been small, green, and have tentacles for all we know.)

        Edit: Ooh, I have even more proof Jesus was a Viking! Anybody here can walk on water! I actually did it today, several times. See??? Viking, I tell you!

        • Aloisius says:

          Pfft, I was talking about you know, Jesus’ actual parents, not the fairy tale told by Luke and Matthew because they misread Isaiah and thought the hebrew word almah meant virgin instead of young woman.

          • CH says:

            That doesn’t change anything! She could have been the local matriarch of a whore house, it doesn’t matter. She had a little import growing in there! And nothing you say can change my mind!

      • Martijn says:

        Turks? Didn’t they come to the area about 100 years later from central Asia?

        Arabs are surely a lot closer. At least they are also semites.

    • Powerphail says:

      Didn’t you know being a white guy in the middle east was Jesus’s biggest miracle?

  4. Frank Diekman says:

    Nobody fucks with The Jesus.

  5. Jack Daniel says:

    He was ejected for your sins.

  6. Roose_Bolton says:

    Let he who is without sin throw the first triple-20.

    • Christopher says:


      Ah, that brings back memories not only of watching darts on television but having a blast as part of a league. My team name, in fact, was “Make Mine A Triple”. 

  7. another sport where the players can’t handle crowd noise? Let the golfers, tennisers, and darters spend some time facing a 99mph heater in a road game while a crowd of drunks yells stuff about their moms. Wimps.

  8. Michael Polo says:

    Guys, forgive them, they know not what they do…..

  9. Navin_Johnson says:

    but a fan who bears an uncanny resemblance to Jesus


    If that’s the case I can go to a hipster bar tonight and see about 30 “Jesus Christs”… and some that are least somewhat swarthy..

  10. Bevatron Repairman says:

    It is easier for a rich man to enter heaven than for me to score this Triple 17 I need.

  11. gothicgeek says:

    Ah British darts culture, keeping the 1970s alive!

  12. Ryan Lenethen says:

    Jesus was a Ginger? I didn’t think they had soul’s…. Oh wait. Did jesus have a soul? I think I just blew my mind!

  13. Navin_Johnson says:

    Dennis Wilson! Dennis Wilson! Dennis Wilson!

  14. memoid says:

    I was looking forward to the comments, and BB did not disappoint!

  15. iamlegion says:

    He’s not just Jesus – he’s GINGER JESUS!

  16. noah django says:

    pretty much everyone calls me Jesus.  It doesn’t bother me.  In fact, it affords me quite a psychological advantage amongst the religious types.  Also, jokes.  Yesterday, with a friend at work:

    Kevin:  Jesus!  turn this water into wine
    Me:  [ignore]
    Kevin:  JESUS! [motions to water]
    Me:  [stare wide-eyed at him, raise fingers to temples.  slowly cross eyes]
    Kevin:  [loud laughter]  You crazy as hell.

    meh, it passes the time.

  17. Nick Gurteen says:

    Just a small point, but Butlins is a Holiday resort, not a village.  Minehead is the actual town…

  18. MichaelDDD says:

    5000 drunks cause a problem and the only person who gets ejected is the one who’s not doing anything wrong. Says a lot about the sport of darts, I think.

  19. Joel Turner says:

    How Bloody Stupid Are You !!!???   Jesus Wasn’t Bloody Caucasian !!!!!

  20. A topic about Darts, and this hasn’t been posted yet? Shame on you all.

  21. mindysan33 says:

    At least he got a free beer out of it?

    I actually know a Jesus, with the arabic Variant. And coincidentally, he has shown me a better path to walk, at least academically.   Not religiously though.

  22. Marc Mielke says:

    Seems like a rather nice way to eject someone from a tourney. Bar security in the US would be more likely to taze Our Lord than buy him a pint. 

  23. scotchmi_st says:

    The fact that this was reported in ‘This is Somerset’ tells you all you need to know.

  24. tw1515tw says:

    Well, the Romans’ image of Jesus was as a blond, curly haired boy with a wand, so that’s not too far from darts. The bearded imagery came x hundred years later.

    • Navin_Johnson says:

      He looks a bit gray in that pic….maybe he needs Clyde and Keith to hook him up with some “Just for Saviors”

    • CH says:

      Interesting. I’ve never really checked how the earliest depictions looked like.

      I think it’s supposed to be more of a rod than a wand, though. And in two of the pictures a small boy is touching his rod. Pictures from the future?

  25. ChickieD says:

    Was he wearing his bathrobe that day?

  26. Art says:

    Everyone knows that there’s only one, true Jesus.
    He’s a white guy and looks just like Barry Gibb.

  27. J_Porter says:

    Video is a dead link. Is there a fixed one?

  28. Orion Salvaje says:

    He is 33 years old, so  he should be careful around crosses.

    Also, now you know there is a good reason for Muslims not allowing the depiction of Muhammad.

  29. Jason Chilcott says:

    and it’s gone…. 
    “”Darts fan Nathan Grindal is…” The YouTube account associated with this video has been terminated due to multiple third-party notifications of copyright infringement.”

  30. feetleet says:

    Pshht. Jesus tastes Italian. With very little body.

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