This is a thing. It claims to be bulletproof: "The backpack can be quickly brought to the front as a shield or can serve as center of mass protection while fleeing the scene of the shooting." Apparently officially licensed by Disney. $300. There you go.
I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.