Disney Princess Armored Backpack, with carbon nanotubes

This is a thing. It claims to be bulletproof: "The backpack can be quickly brought to the front as a shield or can serve as center of mass protection while fleeing the scene of the shooting." Apparently officially licensed by Disney. $300. There you go.

Ballistic Backpack | Amendment II (via Super Punch)



  1. I have doubts that this backpack won’t disintegrate three months into the school year as the regular Disney licensed backpacks are wont to do.

  2. Let’s make money off your fear.

    In other news…
    “Level II (.357 Magnum, .45, .40, 9mm) or Level IIIA (.44 Magnum, .357 SIG and below)”

    I’m not sure, but those numbers don’t protect against high-powered rifles, do they?

    1.  Soft body armor doesn’t stop rifle rounds. You need a hard plate that slips into the armor for that.

  3. I can’t help but think that a bullet proof backpack has to be heavy. (The website didn’t seem to have a weight).  I have to believe the chances of your child suffering debilitating back damage from carrying too much weight at a young age is signification more then the chance the back pack will somehow save their life in the off chance that they are caught in a mass shooting.

      1. “Yes.” Satin and washable tuille, please. Do tell how the kinetic energy is going to not destroy the childlike function of the fleshbag ostensibly booking it for home? (Magneto backstory? Toni Morrison anthology on the outer pack?) An educator intern could ostensibly build a Juggernaut Of +2 Princess Bags over desks and nap mats in Red Bull Time and wear that…policy permitting…while “enhanced interrogation” of the new resource officer checks out.

    1. Even worse they genuinely give no other context.

      I say we get a bunch of people together to order a load and then send them all back complaining that they sent us the wrong one.

      “Yes I did select girl, but I wanted the Avengers backpack – I don’t understand your point”.

    2. The Avengers!? That is soooo last summer! What’s the new $300+ backpack the kids will want now? In order to protect, you gotta get ahead of the trends.

  4. If this did some kind of Power Ranger suit thing, yes.

    Is this invented by the PR team at the NRA?  Did they market it like, on Saturday?

  5. Ah, the market has responded to tragedy, without the need for pesky government regulation!

    Which must be why I feel so queasy. . .

    1. Hey, they have bulletproof Little Mermaid backpacks now so there is no need to interfere with my God-given right to a semi-auto assault rifle with an extra large clip of steel jacketed ammo.

  6. I’d bet quite a bit that this company is buying existing, licensed backpacks and adding a panel of bulletproof fabric.

    In which case, if I understand trademark law, they really owe Disney, Marvel, and Swissgear a disclaimer, to prevent this kind of confusion.

  7. There is zero chance this would stop a .223/5.56 bullet  from 10 feet away – or even a hundred feet.

      1.  Not necessary for me to test – I’m not a doofus that has no understanding of the capabilities and limitations of firearms. 

  8. Introducing JC Penny’s fall line of back to school clothing, corduroy with kevlar weave and button down shirts lined with quarter inch steel.

  9. Here’s a demonstration with a 9mm bullet fired a couple of feet away.

    Here’s some stuff on the backpack itself.

    I have no idea if they have a whole bulletproof blanket inside the Disney backpack, kinda doubt it if they sell for just 300 bucks. But if they can actually manufacture this stuff so incredibly cheaply then it won’t be long before the world’s armies are marching in bulletproof uniforms.

  10. I’m confused.

    If my understanding is correct, carbon nanotube materials are very, very strong in tension, but not so much in shear (just like carbon fiber). More importantly, toughness is not particularly impressive.

    Seems like a silly material for energy absorption…

  11. A few years ago my wife taught at an elementary school that responded to the threat of school shootings by forcing all children to buy transparent backpacks, the theory being that they wouldn’t be able to smuggle guns into school that way. So this bullshit backpack-based security measure has already been cancelled out by other bullshit backpack-based security measures.

  12. Oh, and you expect the kid to wear a bullet-proof whatever o a daily basis and not be affected at all by the stress of the perspective of being shot at. Let the kids spend their entire childhoods terrified, you know, that is surely the better way to stop violence.

    1. If I had a child, I’d dress it in chainmail-kevlar. Which is one of the reasons that I won’t have any children. That and the fact that I’d name it Princess Cuddlemuffin. I know my psychological limits.

  13. OK Suzie and Johnny.  When the big bad man comes into your classroom with a gun, run to your cubbie, grab your magic backpack, and put it in front of you. Make sure you don’t get shot.  Have a great day at school!

    1. I suppose they’re at least as effective as those Hyrdrogen-Bomb-Proof desks schools used for duck-and-cover drills back in the ’50s.

      1. I’ve owned desks from the 50s. They are built like tanks. I give them a fair shot of surviving an a-bomb ;o)

  14. If you got a regular backpack and filled it with $300 worth of books would it stop a bullet?

    How about $300 worth of Little Mermaid DVD’s?

    1.  You can get a LOT of books for 300 [currency unit] if you shop around. Gonna be a big bag (and probably bullet-proof, aye).

  15. I am going to design and market a personal mobile grounding rod, because getting shot in a mass shooting is apparently about as likely as getting hit by lightning.

  16. Crossing my fingers for Nintendo licensing this, and making a Hyrule Shield backpack, at which point I will buy one for myself.

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