Disney Princess Armored Backpack, with carbon nanotubes

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62 Responses to “Disney Princess Armored Backpack, with carbon nanotubes”

  1. Marc Mielke says:

    Everything’s better with nanotech. Even people. ESPECIALLY people. 

  2. Kevin Pierce says:

    To be used in combination with the “gang rush the shooter” strategy!

    Megan McArdle Proposes The Worst Solution To Anything Ever
    http://wonkette.com/493462/megan-mcardle-proposes-the-worst-solution-to-anything-ever#ydQQSUvcftQ8cVaA.99

  3. Ashen Victor says:

    America fuck yeah!

  4. Octavio Mendoza says:

    I have doubts that this backpack won’t disintegrate three months into the school year as the regular Disney licensed backpacks are wont to do.

  5. oasisob1 says:

    Let’s make money off your fear.

    In other news…
    “Level II (.357 Magnum, .45, .40, 9mm) or Level IIIA (.44 Magnum, .357 SIG and below)”

    I’m not sure, but those numbers don’t protect against high-powered rifles, do they?

  6. Jay Yeman says:

    The backpack will be really effective when it’s hanging up in its cubbie.

  7. planettom says:

    Somebody stop those kids!  They’re building a space elevator by stacking their backpacks!

  8. Heartfruit says:

    I can’t help but think that a bullet proof backpack has to be heavy. (The website didn’t seem to have a weight).  I have to believe the chances of your child suffering debilitating back damage from carrying too much weight at a young age is signification more then the chance the back pack will somehow save their life in the off chance that they are caught in a mass shooting.

    • mccrum says:

      But why take the chance?  WHY TAKE THE CHANCE!??!!!!111!!!

      After all, we need to think of the children.

    • Ipo says:

       “Bulletproof” does not have to be heavy.  At all. 

      • “Yes.” Satin and washable tuille, please. Do tell how the kinetic energy is going to not destroy the childlike function of the fleshbag ostensibly booking it for home? (Magneto backstory? Toni Morrison anthology on the outer pack?) An educator intern could ostensibly build a Juggernaut Of +2 Princess Bags over desks and nap mats in Red Bull Time and wear that…policy permitting…while “enhanced interrogation” of the new resource officer checks out.

  9. The drop-down style choices are
    * teen/adult
    * boy
    * girl

    and unfortunately not Disney Princesses, black/grey, and Marvel’s Avengers.

    • Even worse they genuinely give no other context.

      I say we get a bunch of people together to order a load and then send them all back complaining that they sent us the wrong one.

      “Yes I did select girl, but I wanted the Avengers backpack – I don’t understand your point”.

    • nvlady says:

      The Avengers!? That is soooo last summer! What’s the new $300+ backpack the kids will want now? In order to protect, you gotta get ahead of the trends.

  10. peregrinus says:

    If this did some kind of Power Ranger suit thing, yes.

    Is this invented by the PR team at the NRA?  Did they market it like, on Saturday?

  11. PhosPhorious says:

    Ah, the market has responded to tragedy, without the need for pesky government regulation!

    Which must be why I feel so queasy. . .

    • SomeGuyNamedMark says:

      Hey, they have bulletproof Little Mermaid backpacks now so there is no need to interfere with my God-given right to a semi-auto assault rifle with an extra large clip of steel jacketed ammo.

  12. Syn - says:

    Good grief.

  13. tomservojr says:

    Are you sure this is licensed by Disney? Common sense suggests otherwise, but I guess you never know.

  14. CHoldredge says:

    I’d bet quite a bit that this company is buying existing, licensed backpacks and adding a panel of bulletproof fabric.

    In which case, if I understand trademark law, they really owe Disney, Marvel, and Swissgear a disclaimer, to prevent this kind of confusion.

  15. yadayada says:

    Variation on an old theme:  http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=5584026

    I think Colbert interviewed the guy, but I can’t find it anywhere.

  16. Tavie says:

    Super depressed.

  17. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    Childhood, a time for discovery, joy, family, and taking cover during shootings.

  18. Aaron Nolen says:

    There is zero chance this would stop a .223/5.56 bullet  from 10 feet away – or even a hundred feet.

  19. Related items: Unisex Centurion Tactical Vest

  20. xzzy says:

    Introducing JC Penny’s fall line of back to school clothing, corduroy with kevlar weave and button down shirts lined with quarter inch steel.

  21. allotrope says:

    Here’s a demonstration with a 9mm bullet fired a couple of feet away.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQgUrjCZmZw

    Here’s some stuff on the backpack itself.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQDfZNM4vhA

    I have no idea if they have a whole bulletproof blanket inside the Disney backpack, kinda doubt it if they sell for just 300 bucks. But if they can actually manufacture this stuff so incredibly cheaply then it won’t be long before the world’s armies are marching in bulletproof uniforms.

  22. Jeremy Sebens says:

    I’m confused.

    If my understanding is correct, carbon nanotube materials are very, very strong in tension, but not so much in shear (just like carbon fiber). More importantly, toughness is not particularly impressive.

    Seems like a silly material for energy absorption…

  23. Brainspore says:

    A few years ago my wife taught at an elementary school that responded to the threat of school shootings by forcing all children to buy transparent backpacks, the theory being that they wouldn’t be able to smuggle guns into school that way. So this bullshit backpack-based security measure has already been cancelled out by other bullshit backpack-based security measures.

  24. Dean Putney says:

    Now available at Target!

  25. BijouxBoy says:

    What a bizarre country. 

  26. Dee Dee says:

    Oh, and you expect the kid to wear a bullet-proof whatever o a daily basis and not be affected at all by the stress of the perspective of being shot at. Let the kids spend their entire childhoods terrified, you know, that is surely the better way to stop violence.

    • Brainspore says:

      I thought that was what all the metal detectors were for.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      If I had a child, I’d dress it in chainmail-kevlar. Which is one of the reasons that I won’t have any children. That and the fact that I’d name it Princess Cuddlemuffin. I know my psychological limits.

  27. Jay Yeman says:

    OK Suzie and Johnny.  When the big bad man comes into your classroom with a gun, run to your cubbie, grab your magic backpack, and put it in front of you. Make sure you don’t get shot.  Have a great day at school!

    • Brainspore says:

      I suppose they’re at least as effective as those Hyrdrogen-Bomb-Proof desks schools used for duck-and-cover drills back in the ’50s.

  28. Carbon nanotubes…as opposed to ballistic nylon like a normal backpack.

  29. This is very Snow Crash.

  30. Atvaark says:

    How could anything go wrong?

  31. johnyaya says:

    If you got a regular backpack and filled it with $300 worth of books would it stop a bullet?

    How about $300 worth of Little Mermaid DVD’s?

    • Gilbert Wham says:

       You can get a LOT of books for 300 [currency unit] if you shop around. Gonna be a big bag (and probably bullet-proof, aye).

  32. Cowicide says:

    Will this product come with a training DVD for the kids to watch?

    Maybe they can use this quick guide I made in the meantime:

    http://i.imgur.com/yx8De.jpg

  33. MollyMaguire says:

    I am going to design and market a personal mobile grounding rod, because getting shot in a mass shooting is apparently about as likely as getting hit by lightning.

  34. artbyjcm says:

    Crossing my fingers for Nintendo licensing this, and making a Hyrule Shield backpack, at which point I will buy one for myself.

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