Very bad ways to wake up

A "waking people up the hard way" supercut from (Thanks, Joe Sabia!)


    1.   . . . none of those waked up didn’t immediately come up with a 9MM & pumped seven bullets at anyone moving.  I’m surprised.

    1.  I feel less guilty about the watching and more guilty about how hard I laughed at some of the dumbest ones…

      1. I’ve perpetrated a number of them.  The table’s my favorite, I wish I’d been that creative.  I let sleeping dogs lie now.

    1.  No kidding!  It reminded me why, after the first set of room mates, I always lived by myself.

  1. But…why?

    (because people are fucking assholes…that’s why)

    Yet while watching, I laughed.  Which makes me culpable in such crimes against humanity.  I’m a terrible person, but at least I’m not alone!

    1. I call it a caveman brain. I don’t want to be associated with lizards – the conspiracies, you know.

  2. I have a good sense of humor, but mean spirited pranks like this are awful and I hope the idiots that make them got it back twice as hard. I can never understand why some people think it’s funny or okay to be completely shitty and humiliate the people they claim to be friends with.

    1.  I have a terrible sense of humour and agree with your statement. While I don’t actively hope some of the assholes got stabbed mid-reaction, I’m fine with it if they did.

  3. I used to think milder versions of this kinda stuff was funny,I outgrew that.To be honest, if someone were to pull this stuff on me when I was sleeping (& especially if I was having an interesting dream),I would probably go serious Frankenstein violent,(& normally I’m a pathologically peaceful ‘wuss’),throwing furniture around in a tormented state of homicidal rage.
    I am the sort who takes his dreams seriously,& feel exasperated rage toward those who don’t understand that.

    1. I wonder how good the Frankestain attack would work agains the guy with the chaisaw… Prolly nobody could saw you up to Frankestain’s level of perfection…

    2.  I sort of want one of these assholes to try this on my sister. Not because I hate my sister, but because if you wake her up from the Deep Sleep part of the REM cycle (even gently) the only part that comes online for about 10 seconds is the lizard brain, and it’s in full Fight/Flight mode, and firmly set to Fight.

      Like, tap her on the shoulder and she tries to strangle you until she wakes up properly sort of thing. I can’t IMAGINE what she’d be like if someone tried one of these.

  4. Didn’t laugh.  Just a compilation of people being assholes.  The world doesn’t need any more assholes, never mind a video celebrating their behaviour.

    1. If you didn’t laugh, you are not human.  You can feel disgusted, but seriously, the vindictive ape in you is also hooting at the top of its lungs with sadistic glee.

      1. If you’ve been the victim of violence, you might not find it very funny at all.

      2. I have no problem laughing at the pranks of Jackasses harming themselves.  It’s low humor, but still pretty funny.  No problem with the Clousseaus and Katos trying to do each other in.  Hysterical.

        Hurting someone while they’re sleeping, literally scaring the piss out of them for laughs? – that’s mean, cowardly and stupid, imo. 

        I try to keep my ‘ inner ape’ on a tight leash, but sometimes I fail and have to ask for forgiveness.  Now *that’s* human.

      3.  My vindictive ape doesn’t know any of these victims, why the hell would it be gleeful?

      4. Today I learned I’m inhuman for having too much empathy to laugh at pointless cruelty.

  5. I think the harmless ones are funny, waking up the wife in front of the truck being towed. The one where they woke the guy up put a banana in his mouth, gave him a tv and walked him into the closet was priceless, and harmless.

    1. After falling asleep while driving, I pulled into an empty rest area.  Because of the load in the back seat, I could not recline so I nodded off sitting up.  I woke up thinking I’d fallen asleep while driving again, and I found myself parked  in the middle of an empty parking lot, clutching the steering wheel and screaming.  Refreshed, I continued on my way. 

      1. I woke up thinking I’d fallen asleep while driving again

        Remind me where you live again, and which streets you usually fall asleep on?

        1. A friend used to fall asleep at the wheel and one night he nodded off on winding road, then awoke with a thump but he was on the road and drove home no trouble.  The next day he went back to the S curve and could see tire tracks where he had gone through the front yard of a house, just missed the house,  passed through a 5′ gap between a couple trees, sailed off an embankment and landed back in his lane.

    2. Yes, Russian guy was absolutely the best. He paused in the closet for a moment, collected his thoughts, exited the closet (not ‘came out’), calmly told his friends to fuck off and went back to bed. He was the real hero.

    3. Some of these are downright horrifying — who the hell wakes up their spouse by throwing eggs at her for lulz? — but the Russian banana guy and the truck fellow were brilliant bright spots.

    4. The TV and closet prank has been one of my favourites for a long time. Not only is it almost entirely harmless, it’s also largely truthful. The perpetrator yells “get up, we’re being flooded! Grab the TV, save the teddy bear, leave me, and run for the closet!”

      The banana, well… I got nuth’n, but given where we’re having this conversation…

      Just look at it.

  6. Because hitting someone with a hammer on camera is just cruel while surprising them into bashing their head is hilarious. To prove this I’ll dig out a link for “3 guys 1 hammer” and get an audience poll (no I won’t).

    1. That’s pretty much the plot of a lot of totally hilarious Marx Brothers and Abbot and Costello routines.

        1. When we were kids we didn’t have any of your fancy video games. For entertainment, we took turns hitting each other in the head with a hammer.And if you were good, maybe you got a new hammer for Christmas. And we LIKED it.

  7. …and here I was hoping this would be a compilation of movie clips of bad ways to wake up. Anyone up for putting together such a video rebuttal to this, so we can actually laugh without being assholes?  (First clip suggestion: The first scene in Shakes the Clown.)

  8. I once woke up my friend, who was sleeping in the back seat of his own car, by doing donuts in the snow on the highway.  I would have given anything to have a camera.  He thought we were in an accident.

  9. Anyone notice the dark syruppy liquid gushing out the head of the unfortunate ceiling fan victim?

  10. The clip where the two guys flip the couch and slam their friend’s face into the wall? If that happened to me, I’d wake up in jail after kniving them repeatedly. I appreciate the creativity of a lot of these fools, but 75% of the clips show hideously dangerous and largely fatal stuff, especially the poor sucker who almost got decapitated by the ceiling fan. Thanks, Xeni, for taking BB into Jackass territory.

    1. I have owned many ceiling fans in my life, and for the life of me, I cannot imagine how one could be “decapitated” by them, or even, really, seriously injured. A bruising at best.

      1. I knew someone with a big scar from getting hit by one of the sheet metal ceiling fans.

        1. I bought one that was meant to go in a warehouse. The slowest speed was about twice as fast as any fan that I’ve ever seen. The top speed blew the end tables over.

      2. Once when my wife and I were getting into bed, she spied a large spider crawling across the ceiling.  Being the gallant type, I stood up on the bed and started chasing the spider, trying to swat it and missing repeatedly.  I was interrupted in my efforts by the sudden BONKETABONKETABONKETA across the back of my head.  Only temporarily painful, I can report.  I don’t remember if I ever managed to smack the spider.

        (My wife didn’t laugh.  Damn good wife, she is.)

    2. Did you notice that the same guys and couch appear to be involved in the “stuff the guy’s mouth with wasabi and have him hurl all over your basement” one?

  11. Crowd’s getting ugly. Add one more vote for faint sense of guilt but awesomely laugh out loud funny.

  12. If Boingboing depicts men being mean to women, I can assume it’s to illustrate some point about feminism. But if it’s just generic human beings being mean to others, I’m just left with the message that people are shit. I guess I should be happy that no one’s ever done this sort of thing to me (outside of basic training, anyway!) and I’ve never heard anyone I know speak of doing such things.

     On a basic level, society is founded on the need to leave someone watching out for danger while you sleep. I can’t imagine a better illustration of the dissolution of society than this video. Laughs a plenty, sure! _The Mountain People_ of northern Uganda comes to mind.


    1. I many shamanistic cultures it is taboo to awaken someone because the soul roams the earth when the sleeper dreams, and awakening the sleeper could leave them without their soul and insane. Likewise it can be forbidden to put a hat on a sleeping person or otherwise disguise them so the soul can’t recognize their home.  Presumably this includes using felt tip markers to draw dicks on someone’s face. 

  13. An no one’s said “Christ what an asshole!” yet? We’re getting slack.

    Ok – I guess technically “Christ what a lovingly curated collection of assholes”.

    1. “Christ what a lovingly curated collection of assholes”.

      There are websites for that…

  14. Years ago when my teenaged sons failed to get up after the 3rd call I would slip the nozzle of a CO2 fire extinguisher under the sheets and fire it off. It sounds like a tornado on steroids and produces an impressive cloud of cold white fog. So instantly awake, so insanely pissed, so unlikely to stay in bed in the future. Of course the rotten little darlings returned the favor. I do draw the line at likely physical harm though…the ceiling fan stunt was not ok

    1. And then you replaced the fire extinguisher every time you did that, right?

      Those things are really not supposed to be used more than once.

  15. That one where the gf woke her guy up to an ENTIRE ROOM FULL OF MOUSETRAPS must have taken some time. Someone spending that much time setting mousetraps must be seriously vindictive. 

  16. Some of these are potentially amusing – I come from a family that appreciates a good scare, and the chainsaw+mask one would have gone over awesomely, heh. As would the backward truck one. Even the more outright pranky ones are pretty funny assuming a situation where’s part of an actual playful back and forth instead of just feeling like a dick move.

    But a lot of these, well… dick move is probably the best you’re going to get as a descriptor, being generous.

  17. Lots of potentially brain damaging concussions clearly followed.  Makes you wonder how the perpetrators got their brains damaged.

  18. I laughed, sometimes. I especially laughed at the truck on the highway one, since my wife and I drive long distances a lot and that has its… potential. But most of these are superdickish. If I did ANY of those to my wife, who is INCREDIBLY hard to wake up, I’d happily expect and accept divorce papers later that day. But some of them were still funny.

  19. That woman waking up next to a stranger is so funny. Will have to try some day :-D

    1. No, don’t.  It’s happened to me. 
      It’s not the waking up part that seemed like fun at the time. 

    2. Yeah. Right up there with waking up with a plastic bag on your head. Cuz nothings funnier than thinking you’re about to get raped!

      1.  Yeah it’s a pretty famous prank from the Prankvsprank Youtube channel (AKA “the crasiest couple on the internet”)

  20. I hope to see a flood of funny revenge videos as a result of this.

    A few of those dickheads may have caused serious injuries. I’d be the sort to retaliate HARD.

      1. That was my assumption.  Not that this is a healthy way to go about resolving problems, but presumably some of these antics lack context.

  21. Wow, a lot of these were hilarious! I felt bad for the kid with the mouthful of Wasabi sauce!!

  22. Not sure what is clever about going to someone sleeping and just smashing stuff on them.  Sounds like the Ted Bundy school of comedy.

  23. I seem to recall reading something somewhere about US case law (or possibly military case law) setting a time span after awaking in which one’s actions are blameless – the theory being: fugue states, dreaming persistence, blood flow, lack of rational capability, persists for a period of time after sleep is interrupted.
    Damned if I can find a citation.

    I guess what I’m trying to say here is, caveat joculator; ignoratio somnium excusat.

  24. Is there any better investment than causing permanent hearing damage or other serious injury to an unsuspecting loved one for a few seconds of laughter?  /s

    1. As I watched that part, the words “Just look at it!” ran through my mind.  I spend too much time reading BB.

  25. The only reason I even finished watching this video was because I was hoping that at least one “prankster” would have ended up getting punched in the face. 

  26. The world needs assholes, but their endless drive needs to be channeled into something productive. Otherwise you end up with a mildly amusing catalog of Crimes Against Sleep. Just think if these kids were in charge of the theatrical end of labor demonstrations. We’d all be working a three day week by now.

  27. If any of those happened to me, the perpetrator would not wake up.  Christ, what a bunch of assholes!

  28. If you kill one of these pranksters in the first 15 seconds after waking up, you would be able to claim self defense and not be charged. Some of these psychotic morons don’t deserve a beating heart.

  29. My dad woke me one time by bonking me on the head with a big novelty inflatable bottle of Seagrams, not realizing that the weight in the bottom of the bottle was a disk of pasteboard that hit me in the forehead.

    You know, stuff like that gives you permission to make your own mistakes as a parent.

  30. I remember one time as a kid when my family was camping.  The big tent only held four people, so a couple of my brothers slept in smaller pup tents.  Dave was one of them, and he slept with the end of the pup tent open, his head visible.

    As it happened, Dave was really phobic about spiders.  As it also happened, the campground had a whole lot of Daddy-Long-Legs spiders around.  One morning, when all us brothers except Dave were awake, we put two and two together, gathered up a bunch of the Daddy-Long-Legs, and dropped them onto Dave’s face.

    It was hilarious.  Being chased around the campground by a screaming brother with a Boy Scout hatchet in his hand, not so much.

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