Choosing the Right Seat: How not to get stuck next to someone that sucks

Now people who think, "Oh shit, Frauenfelder is gonna be there," have this infographic to give them a fighting chance.

Mark Frauenfelder is the founder of Boing Boing and the editor-in-chief of MAKE and Cool Tools. Twitter: @frauenfelder. Come and hear Mark speak at the ALA conference in Chicago on July 1.

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http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher

No mention is made of the difficulty for us southpaws to find seats in any of the rectangular configurations that don’t have us bumping elbows with whomever’s unlucky enough to be on the distaff side.
- http://twitter.com/trivianinja Ian Fay
  
  Agreed. I’m always very careful to pick end or corner seats for that very reason.
  - Gilbert Wham
    
    Fuck ‘em. And they’d better watch out for my goddamn wineglass as well, right-handed weirdo mutants.
    - Martijn
      
      Just make sure you claim your elbow and glass space before the guy to your left does. And he won’t have as much experience with it as we do.
      - Gilbert Wham
        
        Works with fencing too. Or it *did* till I realised what a stabby motherfucker one of my friends is. Jesus, he fast…
http://twitter.com/scherrjeff Jeff Scherr

It’s about time someone shed some light on this. 3 cheers
welcomeabored

Scenario: You’ve just been through the buffet line and you’re the first to sit down at a round table that seats 12. You’re wondering why you sat down at a table by yourself, because then it looks like you want to be alone, and why would you want that at a retreat… involving hundreds of yammering middle-aged women who only shut up long enough to sleep, and my assigned roommate didn’t even shut then… oh, nevermind… I should have just sat there and enjoyed the break in the conversation.

EDIT: Silence may be golden, but hindsight and regret can be such effin nags.l
huskerdont

Completely opposite to my strategy, which is to sit on the end so as not to have to talk to too many f*ckers, and to have leg room and easy access to the restrooms. But there are terms for people like me…
http://twitter.com/writebastard Ian Wood

I just never leave the house. Primates are difficult.
ldobe

I never thought about table positioning till now. I like booths, and I always take the interior side. Something about snuggling into a corner pleases my lizard brain. I guess I like the security of the impossibility of tripping a waiter or somehow falling over into the aisle.
Narmitaj

I never sit next to the person that sucks!

Oh….

Wait a minute.

Maybe I am the person that sucks…

Actually I’m pretty good at getting the optimum seat in, eg, the 8-person rectable. (Then, assuming my suckitude, two people have to sit next to the person that sucks, plus one opposite, ho ho).
tw1515tw

Derren Brown’s method of keeping the seat next to you free might also work.

As soon as you see someone you don’t like, you should smile at them as they approach and pat the seat invitingly.

http://www.shortlist.com/entertainment/derren-browns-guide-to-overcoming-awkward-situations
Charlie Parker

I’m sure that this graphic would make a completely charming placemat.

Who sucks? Well, most people have some trait that irritates other people. But how can one engage a person in such a way that makes the experience at least reasonable for both? Practice.
oasisob1

I’ve discovered that sitting closest to the bar prevents me from having to sit next to someone who sucks. Or at least I don’t notice. I can’t say much for the person who has to sit next to me, however.
Antinous / Moderator

I pick the seat that will make it easiest to get up to pee every 20 minutes.
Lyle Hopwood

There are two spaces between ‘important’ and ‘it is’ in #6! Augh!

(I’m not doing this right, am I? I’m not going to be in any of those seats.)