How to make $1,000,000 at Rutgers:
- Get a job as a coach or athletic director.
- Beat students, throw basketballs at their head, and insult them with homophobic slurs.
- Profit!
Rice will get $1.1 million, and Rutgers' athletic director Tim Pernetti (who resigned last week) will get "$1.2 million in salary, plus an iPad, car allowance, and more than two years of health insurance coverage."