Cow is unwelcome visitor


54 Responses to “Cow is unwelcome visitor”

  1. Ian McLoud says:


    Cows kill more people than sharks:

    • fuzzyfuzzyfungus says:

      By mass, (mostly) docile tastiness is one of the most successful adaptations among mammals, indeed, among anything large enough to shoot reasonably efficiently. 

    • Boundegar says:

      It’s true.  Didn’t we have “Cow Week” last summer?

  2. weatherman says:

    Add “crushed by cow trying to get through door” to the List of Ignoble Deaths that I wouldn’t want to suffer.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      Everything about that woman screams First Person to Die in Teen Movie.

      • rattypilgrim says:

         How obnoxious. The cow backed out from sheer disgust.

        • Antinous / Moderator says:

          She gets into the most unsafe place in the room, possibly under the long-deprecated doctrine of If I Can’t See It, It Can’t Hurt Me. Then instead of yelling useful things like, “Help, I’m in danger,” “There’s an animal attacking me,” or “I’m being crushed to death,” she screams her friend’s name and announces that she’s scared — semantic clues usually associated with an icky spider in the corner.

          Sometimes I wonder how we survive as a species. But then I remember that most of the history of plays, film and television teach us that the normal human female response to threat is to scream, faint and allow yourself to be killed. Thank God for Ripley.

          • ocker3 says:

            playing dead (fainting dead away) is actually a useful skill if you aren’t trained in combat, it lets the rest of the action happen around you and you’re not a threat to anyone so they’re likely to leave you alone until things calm down. 

          • zotlerg says:

            Don’t play dead with a shark though, it’s the worst thing you can do!

          • Antinous / Moderator says:

            Or a hungry bear.

  3. G3 says:

    That reminds me of my rugby buddies in college — “hey we heard you got beer! Oh, no beer, leaving now.”

  4. MikeKStar says:

    We’re all doomed once they figure out how doorknobs work.

  5. tomassino says:

    poor “Fresita” she never saw a cow in her entire life.

  6. GawainLavers says:

    “If the camel once gets his nose in the tent, his body will soon follow.” — U.S. Senator Barry Goldwater

    I presume the “camel” is a metaphor for the underclass having delusions of financial security and self-determination.

    • silkox says:

       It is true that conservatives use the camel’s nose/slippery slope fallacy far more often than others, as if the concern is part of their DNA. I wonder if Goldwater is a major part of the reason, or maybe he was just articulating an older fear?

  7. Ron Bowes says:

    Can anybody understand her language? What’s she yelling?

    • grimc says:

      “Por favor!” = Spanish

    • roqz says:

      It is spanish…

      This a transcription: Aida por favor! Aida! Aida! Aida! Aida! Oye dile que que venga alguien que me da miedo! Ahhh! Que me da miedo! Que me estaba haciendo daño! Aida! Aida!

      I’m a native spanish speaker, I understand “Aida” as a name and not “Ayuda” (Help), but could be a different accent, either way, you could read Aida as a name or as Ayuda (Help me!) and it still makes sense:

      And a translation:  Aida Please! Aida! Aida! Aida! Aida! Hey tell somebody to come, this scares me! Ahhh! It scares me! It is hurting me! Aida! Aida!

      • Syn - says:

        Yeah, i’m a native speaker too.She’s calling for her friend, Aida. She apparently is in another room, she even looks for her and calls out once the cow backs out. 

    • ldobe says:

      My Spanish is rusty, but it sounded to me like she was yelling “Allí vaca”
      I know vaca means cow, and allí means there (like over there). I think it was an implied command, “go over there cow” which is something like “vengas allí, vaca”. But when you’re getting crushed by a cow, I wouldn’t fault you for truncating your grammar.

  8. AllyPally says:

    Don’t open the door wider, girl. Smack it hard on the nose and shut the door quick.

  9. MonkeyBoy says:

    Why are most of the suggested videos sexual? clitoral stimulation, uterine ultrasound, child birth, lots of dogs humping dogs and humans – and this is just my impression without examination and counting.

    • millie fink says:

      I think it’s because at YouTube, the title of the video is “Woman and Cow.” 

      And that’s all I got to say about that.

    • Boundegar says:

      That’s funny, most of mine were Minecraft related, or My Morning Jacket.  Maybe they’re videos related to your interests?

  10. anon0mouse says:

    Why the hell is there a camera in that bathroom?

    • katkins says:

      Good point!

      But, that scream was pretty effective.  Note to self RE: preventing cow squishing…

    • Aric Forbing says:

      I was about to ask the same question. I’m not sure which is scarier…. the bathroom cow or the bathroom cam.

    •  It´s Spain´s version of Big Brother, Gran Hermano.

      One of the first seasons if I recall well (I don’t want to).

    • Daemonworks says:

       What makes you think this is a bathroom? A sink does not a bathroom make. I rather doubt it’s a kitchen, but it could just as easily just be a small room with a sink for cleaning tools, filling buckets and the like. No way to know.

      • rattypilgrim says:

         There’s a shovel leaning against the wall. I think you’re right. It’s probably a room in a dairy barn.

    • kartwaffles says:

       That’s probably what the cow wanted to know, too.

  11. Kenmrph says:

    Man, those Spanish-language soaps are weird.

  12. mccrum says:

    I realized that if I ever opened the door and saw a cow I’d close the door and take a moment to myself.

    I mean, that would be fuckin’ weird.

    • ImmutableMichael says:

      “Darling! I can feel one of my turns coming on!”

    • rattypilgrim says:

       Me too, especially since it would have to climb two flights of stairs to get there.

      • Felton / Moderator says:

        A cow apparently followed my stepmother up an outdoor flight of stairs once.  The cow started following her around for some reason, and she thought it wouldn’t climb the steps after her.

  13. Jonathan Roberts says:

    You should really have put a trigger warning there for those of us who survived Cow Week.

  14. Mazoola says:

    Still not sure what this has to do with Goldwater and the camel toe under the tent…

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