Genuinely funny response from a pharmacy trolled over its junk-mail

Andrew sez, "Sometimes I write silly emails to companies when I actually have a mundane request. Usually, they either ignore me or reply with boring customer-service talk (We apologize for... Thank you for shopping with...'). Recently I got a piece of mail from Canadian pharmacy chain Shoppers Drug Mart that was addressed to someone who doesn't live here anymore. I had fun with the email I sent them, and their response (can be viewed in the link) was pure gold!"

This really is rather good. Andrew's letter asked Shopper's if the letter had possibly been addressed to a future tenant at his address, fallen through a time-hole. Shopper's responded with a list of products from the future that he could look for in its circulars to determine whether this was the case:

1) Now at Shoppers Drug Mart: Everexis
Cure any disease instantly with Everexis! Great for headaches, colds, cancer and more! With no known side effects, nothing can possibly go wrong!

2) 20X The Points on Meat Products
Got the Everexis munchies? Fill your strange and unspeakable hunger and get 20X The Points!

3) 20% Off Everexis Antidote
Everexis left you slow, lumbering, and quick to anger? Take the Everexis antidote. It hasn't been fully tested, but it certainly can't make things any worse!

4) Hide in a Shoppers Drug Mart Refugee Shelter
With over 1,200 locations still standing across Canada, Shoppers Drug Mart is the ideal place to hold up and hide from the hoard. Ration Nativa Cheese Puffs and Life Brand Vitamins while you wait for rescue! Blood samples will be required for admittance.

5) Wheat, Glorious Wheat
Exclusively at Shoppers Drug Mart! Rebuild society with wheat, a traditional non-synthetic foodstuff from the before-times. Act fast, as quantities are extremely limited.



  1. This seems too out of left field to be viral marketing, so I’m assuming it’s legit. Way to go, underemployed CSR!

    1. I wonder if companies will wake up someday to the value of hiring witty people who can deviate from a script as their CSRs…

      Naaah. :(

  2. Heh heh. I like this. Most of the time when you abandon etiquette and try to communicate with strangers as though they were real people who shared your sense of humour, your reward is the certain knowledge that your sense of humour is strange, disturbing and completely opaque to the vast majority of the rest of the universe.

    Nice to connect once in a while.

  3. @robuluz:disqus  Yes, I agree. I was once in a bar and we wanted to eat the cake we had just purchased at another location. So I went up to the barman and started my conversation with “I have a modest proposal,” to which he replied, “That we feast on an infant?”
    The fact that he got my Jonathan Swift reference without a second of hesitation was absolutely heart-warming :)

  4. I’m guessing that they’re planning to hide from the horde rather than from the hoard.

  5. Never, EVER post garbage sourced on Google+.  It’s WORSE than Shopper’s Drug Mart spam.

    Just don’t.  Make your contributors have a normal website, not some corporate crap octopus to line Google’s pockets.

  6. Hi, this is Andrew, the guy who sent Shoppers the email.
    The writer has outed himself as @writingMark:twitter on Twitter. He’s a writier – here’s his site (It’s a normal website, not a crap octopus).
    Today Shoppers corporate called me, as apparently they were actively looking for who wrote the response – it was not an approved message. Thankfully he will not be punished, they’ve said.

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